The Life of a New Sister

2012-02-02T06:34:00.002-05:00

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.

Happy February! It hardly seems possible that February is here... especially since here in Ohio the weather is unbelievably temperate. And yet, here we are... the start of a new month.

I've been doing a lot of thinking/reflecting/praying about balance lately. It seems to me that in recent years we hear a lot about the importance of living a life in balance. We hear it in health news and in spiritual reading... in books on leadership and articles on religious life. I seem to be surrounded by messages about balance. Therefore, I pray for the grace of finding balance.

A metaphor that people often use to talk about a balanced life is that of someone juggling. There's a ball labeled "prayer" and another labeled "community." There's one labeled "ministry" and one for "rest." Then, of course, there's "friendship" and "solitude"... "intellectual growth" and "care for self"... the list is actually endless.

What has often occurred to me, however, is the fact that those balls are not always all the same size... some weigh more than others depending on other life circumstances. So, for me the question isn't "How do I keep all the balls in the air... all the time." But, "Which ones are the most weighty?"...

The issue for me isn't so much one of "balance"... that terribly elusive ideal. But, rather, prioritizing and then saying "no". I absolutely stink at prioritizing things. I just want to get that out there. I'm good at addressing those things that seem urgent... and every once in a while the urgent things are actually important. However, there are important things that are not necessarily "urgent" that I can't seem to get a handle on. You know what I mean? It seems to me that I could even go so far as to say that I find motivation in urgency.

That's bizarre, isn't it? Has that been influenced by the culture? One in which instant gratification, stress and caffeine seem to be the fuel of choice? Or is it a question of maturation? There is much to ponder on this oddly warm February day...

Each morning Marianists renew our dedication to Mary and to her mission of bringing Christ to the world. I was struck this morning with the words of one of them that seem appropriate... I'd like to share it with you:

Mary, you pondered in your heart
all the awesome, confusing, and marvelous events of your life.
You considered carefully what God might want of you
and then abandoned yourself to God's goodness and your vocation.
Teach us to treasure and ponder,
to consider and surrender
so that, living religious life in your name and for your honor,
we might come to that blessedness
promised to all your sons and daughters,
the children of God.
Amen.

Abundant blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2012-01-16T14:16:00.005-05:00

We told our stories - That's all.

We sat and listened to each other

and heard the journeys of each soul.

Edwina Gateley

Right now I am on my way back to Dayton after spending the long weekend in Phoenix with 17 other women religious in their 20s and 30s. We came together at a small Benedictine Monastery tucked away in an ordinary neighborhood. There we prayed, shared our dreams, our hopes, our fears... laughter, tears, silence, and plenty of very loud moments! Essentially, we shared ourselves.

I arrived late Friday night - after the opening prayer and initial sharing. But, I was welcomed as always with open arms and open hearts. There were some women I had seen several months ago... others I haven't seen in two or more years... a couple that I've seen in recent weeks... and a few who were new to our group. And yet, I was home with them all. We came from several different religious communities - different geographical locations - different stages (perpetually professed, temporary professed, novices, and candidates) - and with different community experiences. And yet, there is something very deep that bonds us to each other.

Saturday morning we spent time in contemplative silence together - opening our hearts to God and listening for the still, small voice that is God. That was the perfect way to start the day. It may seem counterintuitive that we would remain in silence for the first 90 minutes or so of our morning, but that's what we did. And it was perhaps one of my better prayer experiences and a perfect way to enter the sharing of the day.

That night we gathered outside around a sometimes blazing fire, making s'mores, sharing laughter, telling stories... There was some singing... a little Lady Gaga on the iPod... and a genuinely good time.

Sunday morning we sat outside again in wonderfully temperate weather - prayed with a beautiful poem written by one in our group - and shared our dreams for the future. Many of us shared ministerial dreams - new ways of educating those on the margins of society, new ways of administering health care, exciting endeavors into eco-spirituality and care for the environment... Others of us shared about hopes for communities marked by a risk-taking spirit and a willingness to have a prophetic imagination. The conversation was rich with ideas and laden with hope.

Our official time together ended with Mass with the community that gathers each Sunday at the Monastery - people from the surrounding neighborhood. It was a beautiful liturgy... simple, but very nice.

Many of us stayed an extra night and departed today. I am grateful that was what I chose to do...

Last year, for whatever reason, I wasn't able to go to Phoenix for this annual gathering. There must have been some Marianist thing with which I was involved. However, my hope is that while I still fit the age category, I will not miss another gathering. I believe wholeheartedly that it is essential that those of us who are younger in religious life come together as often as is feasible - to dream together, to support one another, to ask questions about another's experience, to say, "No, you're not the crazy one"... to laugh together, shed some necessary tears... to listen together to God speaking through our lives.

The above quote from Edwina Gateley comes from the poem that shaped our weekend. It's a rather long poem, but I'd like to share it with you. It is perfect for what our time together was about:

The Sharing - by Edwina Gateley

We told our stories - That's all.

We sat and listened to each other

and heard the journeys of each soul.

We sat in silence

entering each one's pain and

sharing each one's joy.

We heard love's longing

and the lonely reachings-out

for love and affirmation.

We heard of dreams

shattered

and visions fled.

Of hopes and laughter

turned stale and dark.

We felt the pain of isolation and

the bitterness of death.

But in each brave and lonely story

God's gentle life broke through

and we heard music in the darkness

and smelt flowers in the void.

We felt the budding of creation

in the searching of each soul

and discerned the beauty of God's hand

in each muddy, twisted path.

And God's voice sang in each story.

God's life sprang from each death.

Our sharing became one story

of a simple lonely search

for life and hope and oneness

in a world which sobs for love.

And we knew that in our sharing

God's voice with mighty breath

was saying love each other and

take each other's hand.

For you are one though many

and in each of you I live.

So listen to my story

and share my pain and death.

Oh, listen to my story

and rise and live with me.

May you all be richly blessed,

Sr. N

2011-12-30T12:46:00.006-05:00

The Lord bless you and keep you!

The Lord let his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you!

The Lord look upon you kindly and give you peace!

Numbers 6: 24-26

It's that time of year... A time to look back and reflect - on lessons learned, experiences shared, grace given, horizons expanded and challenges faced. It's also that time of year during which pop culture gives us top 10 lists ad nauseam. Don't get me wrong, some times they're very humorous... and may even be poignant. But you have to admit, there are an extreme number of them.

Thursday, I was driving listening to NPR and the guest on the show was talking about making top 10 lists. He's a movie critic in Dallas and had composed a list of top 10 movies of 2011. As I was listening, I began to consider what type of top 10 list of 2011 I could make. I haven't seen 10 movies. I have read 10 books, but I could only rank them if I could remember all of them (my very poor memory is always an issue!). But, for whatever reason, I was inspired to compose my own top 10 of significant events or happenings of 2011.

In no particular order, here is my list...

1. The death of Osama bin Laden and the days that followed...

Yes. It's an odd first choice, I agree. But, it was the first one I thought about, so that has to say something. I remember the night fairly well. I was sitting at the Novitiate chatting with one of the novices and a few friends. We had completed an evening of prayer and sharing. I can't remember why the tv was on - the fact that it was on is rather strange now that I think about it.
The news appeared. We watched in rapt interest. Then we began to see the celebrations... we went to Facebook and people had posted things I never thought I would read about some one's death. Such rejoicing... comments about the nature of evil... the patriotism that it inspired. Honestly, I found most of it very disturbing.
Sometime in the weeks surrounding that event, I returned to San Antonio for a visit. I had dinner with a very good friend with whom I went to high school and college. I don't remember how it happened, but we argued about whether or not the US had ever made errors in judgment concerning foreign policy. Really?...
In Catholic tradition, January 1st celebrates Mary as Mother of God... and also is a day to pray for peace. Indeed... peace in our world, our country, Church, communities and peace within our hearts. "Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us..."

2. Running

I've always said, "I am not a runner." Or "I don't run." I can no longer
say that. Well... sort of. In August I started the Couch to 5K program.
At first I couldn't run 45 seconds without feeling winded, defeated and bored. Now... I'm at a little more than a 5 K (at a slow pace!) and I'm thinking of a half
marathon in May. Miracles never cease, it seems. I feel pretty good about it. I
like setting goals and working towards them. We'll see what happens.

3. Particular Movies

I saw a few movies in 2011 that were more than just mere entertainment - "Waiting for Superman," "Of Gods and Men," "The Way," and "Descendants." These are the kinds of films that make you think... about God, about human nature, courage, forgiveness, love, and justice. I recommend them.

4. Tragic deaths

This was a year that ended with a few tragic deaths that were difficult for me
and for people with whom I am close. I believe I blogged about it sometime in November... I continue to pray for peace for those who are mourning
these losses.

5. Leaving the Univ. of Dayton

It wasn't an easy decision. It took a lot of discernment... talking with people who know me well, sharing and conversation with our Sisters... and personal prayer. And while I miss many people connected to UD, it was a good move for me. Sometimes, taking a risk is the right thing to do...

6. Returning to high school ministry

Who knew when I left CCHS in May of 2004 that I would return to a high school? I certainly never would have guessed. And yet, here I am... And although many things are the same (I still procrastinate in grading and embarrass easily etc.), but I'm seeing it the ministry with new eyes... a little more maturity, perhaps... and a different sense of mission.

7. Finishing an MA

It takes a lot of energy to work full time & go to school - even if school is part time. But, I enjoyed my classes, for the most part, and I learned a great deal. Every once in a while I miss that type of learning... but not enough to get another degree... :)

8. Sharing in the Marianist Women's Summit

The gathering of Marianist Lay and Vowed Religious women in San Antonio in March 2011 was a fantastic weekend. Wonderful moments of insight... the sharing of stories... examining our unique role in the Marianist family and in the Church... and lots of laughter filling our home... What could be better?

9. Going to El Salvador while reading Dorothy Day

I can hardly believe that a year ago I was preparing to go to El Salvador with a group of UD students I barely knew. I haven't thought a lot about the trip since returning... which is, honestly, unfortunate. However, at this time, I feel the desire to tap into that experience once more - to read my journal and the insights gained from reading the words of Dorothy Day while I was there, thus opening myself to the possibility of God's grace to enter and transform memories into change.

10.Young Marianist Sisters' Gathering in Rome & various locations in France

Of course, those of you who read this blog every once in a while, cannot possibly be surprised that this trip would make the list. An unbelievable trip... a humbling experience... and an amazing opportunity for growth... There is not much more to say about it than that. I am deeply grateful for the experience and for the great blessing of meeting other young, visionary, enthusiastic, committed Marianist sisters from around the world. I hold those women in a special place in my heart and look forward to a time that we will be together again.

And there you have it. I am grateful for the year that is coming to its close and I look forward in hope to what God will do in 2012. May all of us be open to the blessings and the grace of God in the new year!

Happy New Year!

Sr. N

2011-12-19T05:20:00.003-05:00

O God, who through the child-bearing of the holy Virgin

graciously revealed the radiance of your glory to the world,

grant, we pray, that we may venerate with integrity of faith

the mystery of so wondrous an Incarnation

and always celebrate it with due reverence.

Opening Prayer (Collect)

Advent Weekday Liturgy

On Saturday morning December 17 I went to the Community Blood Center to donate. I was in very high spirits. I had spent the evening before gathered with more than 20 young adult Lay Marianists. We went Christmas caroling, shared a meal and played very fun, goofy games. Saturday morning I went for a run with new, fun people (and one good friend) and then listened to Christmas music all morning. When I walked in the Blood Center I was still singing my favorite Christmas song (O, Holy Night) in my mind.

The woman behind the desk asks "So, are you ready for Christmas?" in a sort of "I'm only talking to you because I'm supposed to" sort of way. I replied to her with an enthusiastic "Yes!" She looked a little confused. "You've finished your shopping and wrapping and decorating?" It was my turn to be caught off guard. Those things couldn't have been farther from my mind! I've done none of those things. And I'm not overly concerned about it either. I said to her, "No. It's not that important. I'm ready for spending time with people I love, good food, the prayers... I'm excited." Again... I don't think she knew what to think.

Here we are... the "O Anitphon" time... the 4th week of Advent. Through our liturgy we are called to reflect on the announcements of great births, the way God brings about light and life in impossible situations... and the models of faith who said "Yes," having no idea the implications of such a yes. This is truly a graced time...

It's been a busy Advent for me - as it typically is for anyone connected with education (as student, teacher, or administrator). A UD student I know calls this time of year "anti-Advent" in schools. So true. And yet, in the midst of the busyness, my soul in stillness contemplates the great mystery of the incarnation... and the ways Christ is present in each day.

May this closing week of Advent be one of grace and peace for you. And when someone asks, "Are you ready for Christmas?" I hope the answer is "Yes" in the spirit of Mary whose yes had nothing to do with buying gifts.

Many blessings to all who read this,

Sr. N

2011-11-27T07:55:00.003-05:00

God is faithful,

and by him you were called to fellowship with his Son,

Jesus Christ our Lord.

1 Corinthians 1:9

Advent. Wow. It's already Advent. And I find myself completely unprepared for this season... But then again, Advent is all about becoming prepared, so I guess it's appropriate...

The first reading for today's liturgy says it fairly well, "Behold, you are angry, and we are sinful; all of us have become like unclean people, all our good deeds are like polluted rags..." I must admit that there are times that I echo this very same line when I am faced with my own personal brokenness and selfishness. But, more often than not I am moved to this sort of prayer when reading the news paper or internet news sources, increasing my awareness of our world's brokenness.

"Watch!" The one word sentence Jesus states emphatically at the end of today's Gospel is part of the answer. "Be watchful! Be alert!" For what, exactly? The presence of Christ...

We say that during Advent we prepare for the coming of Jesus. But, really, Jesus has already come... Jesus is here. Advent, then, is a time to cultivate our awareness of Jesus... an opening of our hearts and our eyes to areas in our lives and in our world that need to be awakened to Jesus' presence within and among us.

To open our eyes to the presence of Jesus and to recognize the areas of our lives and of our world that need to be awakened to the presence of Jesus... should lead us to action. Someone once said that with knowledge comes responsibility. To recognize brokenness in ourselves and/or in our world is not enough. That can lead to bitterness, despair, or self-righteousness among other things. But, we are called to respond. And that seems daunting to me. And it is daunting if I believe it's in my power or control or if I believe that it's all on my shoulders. "... Christ was confirmed among you, so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift as you wait for the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ.... God is faithful..."

Today our community will have a day of retreat & reflection. It is a wonderful way to enter fully into this season of Advent... cultivating silence opens space within for recognition and ultimately for conversion.

Many blessings to all who read my scattered thoughts this day!

Sr. N

2011-11-19T10:05:00.002-05:00

The Rising Sun of joy and justice lights the way that leads to peace.

As the day descends from heaven, so does love that sets us free.

The Rising Sun ~ Tony Alonzo

Yesterday morning I left Dayton before dawn to travel down to San Antonio to lead a women's retreat for St. Mary's University. On the flight from Dayton to Newark I was busy working on presentations and thinking about the retreat.

I sat on the side of the plane with one row of seats, so the window was to my immediate left. It was very dark out. As I was working on my laptop something drew my attention to the opposite set of windows to my right. And as I looked out I was amazed by what I saw. I immediately opened another Word document and started typing...

My flight left Dayton at 6:05am bound for Newark-Liberty Airport… on my way to San Antonio for the St. Mary’s Univ. women’s retreat. I was busy listening to David Kauffman’s version of the Magnificat and preparing my presentations… The window to my left in my immediate vision was darkness… some city lights down below. Then I looked across the isle to the right side of the plane, looking for inspiration, perhaps … I was reflecting on the Annunciation and the ways that God calls to us in life. And I saw an amazing sight… A bright red horizon… fading up into a beautiful orangey-yellow line of light… that became a vivid blue. Out the left side of the plane – darkness… out the right side – bright, beautiful color.

And isn’t that the way life is sometimes. Looking at a situation sometimes we only allow ourselves to see the darkness – the fact that light is absent and we cannot see our way. And then God breaks in, turning our faces in a different direction… and there is light and hope once more.

It was several minutes before light came to the left side. And as the light was spreading all around the plane, the original bright horizon was no less bright for sharing the light.

Now, I know enough about science to know the reasons why the horizon on the right did not dim as light filled the sky… and why the darkness on the left seemed so absolute. However, this morning I choose not to focus on the science, but on the mystery.

How often is it in life that we get stuck with our limited perspective – seeing the darkness of one side… unable to see the beauty of God’s light breaking in… if only we would turn our faces towards it. Or unable to believe that from darkness so deep and absolute, light does eventually shine. No darkness is so absolute as to swallow hope. It just takes a certain perspective. That of Jesus…

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2011-11-09T07:02:00.003-05:00

Let your mercy be on us, O Lord,

as we place our trust in you.

Paraphrase of Ps. 33:22

What a strange several weeks it's been since my last post. I've thought often of what I should write when I have the opportunity... and then something comes up... another event... and my thoughts are completely different.

Yesterday in my classes the journal question I assigned to my students was about an area in their lives in which they really need to trust in God. During our brief discussion of the journal topic I heard about divorces, parent illnesses, sibling deaths, serious financial difficulties, tough moral choices... It's unbelievable what some young people are carrying...

In recent weeks it seems I know personally many communities and families confronted with a sudden death... A young Marianist brother killed in a car accident... the younger brother of a Marianist priest in my peer group killed in a car accident... a 31-year old Marianist educator died from lung cancer (whose funeral I will attend today) ... 2 UD students killed in a car accident... 2 Marianist brothers in the same community died within days of each other (one rather unexpected)...

The readings these days call us to reflect on the last days. Yesterday's reading from the 2nd and 3rd chapters of Wisdom was particularly poignant... But the souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them. They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead; and their passing away was thought an affliction and their going forth from us, utter destruction. But they are in peace....

In the midst of sadness and confusion on the part of those who mourn these losses, there have been constant reminders of God's faithfulness and love. From the readings to the celebration of perpetual vows... supportive friends and moments of laughter... beautiful sunsets and fall colors.

Let us, then, continue to trust in the love of God... For we know and believe in God's love for us. (1 John 4:16)

Blessings of peace to all who read this,

Sr. N

2011-09-30T06:57:00.008-04:00

People don't care how much you know,

until they know how much you care.

Anonymous

Good morning and happy Friday! I hope this post finds you all doing well! I don't have a lot of time right now (what else is new?), but I thought I would post a few things today.

Life is very interesting sometimes. At times I feel that my life gives good material for a sitcom. Sometimes it seems that different events in my life would be best for case studies in abnormal psychology. And then there are times that my life is one classic cliche after another. Right now, the above cliche says almost everything I could say. If I ever doubted that the above is true, I certainly don't now.

I have to say, if I haven't yet already, that I really like my job. It's a ministry. Not just one in which I am required to impart information/knowledge or even one that is primarily about helping students think in a different way. That's all true, but it's also so much more than that.

What brings me to say this? Let me give a few reasons...

There is a young woman in one of my classes (I'll call her Lynn) with whom I got off on shaky ground at the beginning of the year. She always seemed to come in with an attitude and a chip on her shoulder. There was one day that I said to myself, "If she rolls her eyes at me ONE MORE TIME or does that neck rolling thing, I'm going to lose it!" She also turned in homework very sporadically... Her average was abysmal. Fast forward about 3 weeks... She started sharing different things about her life in her writing - in the journal entries the students write every day and in some of her homework assignments. As I read what students write, it is very important (in my opinion) that I respond in some way. Sometimes I put smiley faces or question marks... sometimes I ask questions for them to consider... and sometimes I write paragraphs. It depends. For Lynn, I've responded a lot. Mostly, I've validated her feelings and questions. I've encouraged her and also shared some of my experience of God. Well, to make a long story short, she now comes to my office every once in a while to give me an update on her life, her attitude is 100% better, I've seen her laugh (that's a big deal for her)... and she's doing her homework.

Not too long ago I returned graded journals to my students. A student said to me, "Whoa, you actually read these?!" To which I responded, "Well, of course I did. I enjoy reading what you have to say. Why else would I have you do them?" And the student said to me, "Well, some teachers don't really care enough to read things like this. That's cool."

A parent came up to me recently and said, "My daughter really likes your class." Because she caught me off guard, I responded with a mix of disbelief and surprise. "Really?" I responded. The mother continued to explain to me the reasons why her daughter says that. Part of the reason is because I care.

Okay. I promise I will not spend this entire blog patting myself on the back. :)

These are just a few antidotes that express a deep truth - not just a cliche. I have to say... I am deeply grateful that I have a background in pastoral ministry to compliment the background in education. Working in a high school, it seems, requires skills in education, knowledge of one's field, and skills in pastoral care/counseling. Well, I'm not sure that I should say "requires" but I will say that it has made a difference for me.

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

2011-09-16T10:31:00.002-04:00

Why do you notice the splinter in your brother's (or sister's) eye,

but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own?

Luke 6: 42a

TGIF my friends! Weeks are flying by like moments for me these days... We're mid-way through September already and I can hardly believe that. However, on the other hand, today I am grateful for a Friday. I need the weekend to catch up! And some time to breathe and reflect would be good, too...

People in the field of education have often said that students will live up to the expectations you set for them. If you treat young adults like maturing adults and expect from them their best, they live up to that. If you treat them like children and expect them to flounder, then that's what they'll do. Or so "they" say.

However, how does one find the line between expecting the best and expecting the impossible? That's the key question of the day - of the month, truth be told.

We're a month into classes. And I find I do honestly enjoy what I do. I've missed it over the years. I enjoy standing in a classroom engaging students in conversations... I enjoy the random questions they ask... and I enjoy the environment of a school. But, that doesn't mean that I do things perfectly in my expectations or in my pedagogy. Oh, to be perfect! That would be fantastic, as far as I'm concerned. As you might already know, I'm constantly frustrated with my own inability to be perfect! Good heavens, I thought I'd grow out of that. :) But that's a different topic for a different day...

Today I am reflecting on expectations -ones I place on myself, ones I place on students, and those I place on all the other people & institutions in my life....

When is it time to say, "My expectations are too high"? And when is it okay to say, "This is what I expect and you can do it!"? I find those to be very difficult questions! I find that it's also related to biases.

Everyone has biases and prejudices - whether we're conscious of them or not. I have come to realize that I admire intelligence and wisdom in other poeple. I'm drawn to certain people for that reason. It's because I wish I were more intelligent, truth be told (I'm very self-conscious about that)... And on an unconscious level, that has an effect on my world view and consequently what underlies my expectations.

Earlier this week I gave out progress reports to my students. I asked the students with grades less than 70 to have them signed by a parent/guardian. One student, with a 68 average, turned his in with a small sentence written in his handwritting. It read, "Sorry I'm not smart." This begs the question am I really asking too much?

I don't currently have any answers. In fact, I just have more questions. One month into school is a good time to evaluate. And that is my expectation for this weekend - to find time for evaluation and reflection.

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

2011-09-01T10:55:00.005-04:00

Then Peter said to Jesus, "Teacher, it is good for us to be here..."
Mark 9:5

Where, exactly, did August go? I can hardly believe it's already September 1... and yet, I also feel like a lot is different since the last time I blogged, I barely know where to start! Lesson from this... blog more often! :)

The last time I blogged I had been back in Dayton for about a week and I was preparing to step back into the world of high school – the world of endless questions and adolescent drama… Friday night football games and passing notes during study hall… rolling eyes and searching hearts… faculty commiserating and TGIF gatherings… Kairos retreats and the morning Pledge of Allegiance...

Now that I’m back, I have to say it is, indeed, good to be here!

I've never believed that I am the world's greatest teacher - and that is confirmed with each class period... And try as I might, it is really difficult to get 15 & 16 year olds to be excited about Scripture (at least not visibly... it's just not "cool")... But, even in light of these realities, I enjoy going to work every day. 7 years ago when I left Central Catholic in San Antonio I wasn't sure that I would ever return to the classroom or to a high school for any reason. It's amazing how a little maturing on my part, a recognition of my passions, and a much broader perspective on life & faith can make such a difference.

I've learned a few things in recent weeks. Allow me to share those with you...

Being a morning person or a night person really does have an impact on the work you do. Yes, there are teachers who are not morning people... and they're good teachers. And there are campus ministers on college campuses who are morning people... and they're good at what they do. But wow... it certainly is something when what you do matches your body's natural rhythms.

I am now old enough to be the parent of the students I teach. Let that one soak in. It doesn't bother me, necessarily. It's just odd, really. But what's good about that is that I am far enough removed from their experience that there is a level of respect for me as "elder" (Yikes! I don't like that word).

I'm still in a time of transition from campus minister to teacher. There is a difference. As a campus minister there is a different rapport with students than as teacher. It's subtle and nuanced, but it's there. Well, at least for me. And part of it probably has to do with changing age groups. High school and college are such different worlds...

Technology has come a long way since the last time I taught. On "Meet the Teacher Night" I said something about an overhead projector to the parents. There's no overhead in my classroom... there's a projector mounted to the ceiling with a remote I'm not always sure how to use. :) And I now carry a school issued laptop to my classroom and to my study hall - that's how I take attendance and project class notes. Crazy. In all honesty, I kinda miss the overhead. Who would have thought?

Of course, I paint this picture as if everything is coming up roses. And any of you who have experience with young people know that it can't be like that all the time...

For instance, I accused a student of lying about something a few days ago... Accused is probably too strong of a word, but it's the best word for this situation. I made an assumption and anyone with experience should know better. Since when do I assume the worst without reason? Where did that come from? That was eye -opening to me. Am I so jaded that I assume someone is not being honest? I don't think so, but it is an interesting question. And it's certainly something on which I should reflect...... I also held someone after class on the first day of school because of his behavior. Really? The first day of school? I never would have done that 7 or 10 years ago... Interesting.

Honestly, I think these particular things have to do with not wanting to be a push over or the teacher that gets walked on. And there's a valid reason for that to be a concern. However, there's a balance on which I'm still working.

However, the bottom line is this was a good move for me and I am grateful. I miss the students at UD and my former colleagues, of course. My hope is to find a way to continue connecting with them.

And so. There you have it. There's always more I could say... but I'm at school and I have work to which I should attend. I hope to blog again soon. Until then...

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

2011-08-10T05:36:00.004-04:00

Moreover, God is able to make every grace abundant for you,

so that in all things, always having all you need,

you may have an abundance for every good work.

2 Corinthians 9:8

I'm back in the blogging world! I hadn't realized how long it had been since my last post... life has been moving pretty quickly since I last wrote! But in all things, the truth of the above quote has been very evident to me... sometimes only in retrospect, but evident nonetheless.

Last time I wrote, I had been in Rome for a week and we had only just begun our meetings there. The days that followed brought us into conversation about our charism, Mary as a model, Chaminade's method of prayer and virtue, and our future together. We also traveled from Rome to France to visit the places of our foundation...

Our time in France was... surreal. It was a lot packed into 4 days... And it wasn't just sightseeing, but experiencing important places in our history - the birthplace of Mother Adele, the convent in which she lived (and where her tomb is), the chapel where the Marianist family was born, the room where Fr. Chaminade died, Chaminade's tomb... We also renewed our vows together in a small chapel where Adele would go for her annual retreat - it was exactly 194 years after Adele and the first FMIs professed final vows! Oh.. so much in just 4 days! To tell you the truth, it all happened so quickly, I'm not sure that I've fully processed everything. There was little time for reflection built into the trip to France.

Upon our return to Rome, we only had about 3 1/2 days left together. And in those days we completed a document that was sent to all of our sisters about our experiences together. We had a fun evening of sharing the culture of our countries and a beautiful prayer service in which we expressed our commitment for the future.

In looking back on the experience, it is clear that God's grace was made abundant. Those of you who read my post prior to leaving for Rome, may recall a little anxiety on my part about coordinating such a gathering. What comes to mind now is, "Why did you doubt, oh you of little faith?" Indeed.

And now... Back in Dayton for a little over a week... and I'm in full teacher prep mode! Working on syllabus and lesson plans... trying to outline the semester etc. You may recall that it's been 7 years since I last taught, so I'm a little rusty on all of those kinds of details. But, I'm really excited anyway. Since I'm only teaching two sections, I am also getting a grasp on the rest of my new job - Office of Academics Assistant Director and a few projects for the Office of Ministry and Service. It'll be a full year, to say the least!! But, creative juices are flowing... and God's grace will be made abundant.

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2011-07-20T10:34:00.008-04:00

It is necessary

that you promise to use all your strength

to maintain and perpetuate union and charity in all the Institute;

for the greatest pain that I would be able to endure

would be to see charity weaken in the heart of one soul of our daughters.

Mother Adele de Batz de Tranquelleon

Wow. As of today, I've been in Rome for 1 week. And what a week it has been!

Today is the 4th official day of our meetings of the young professed Marianist sisters. We are 19 sisters - 7 languages (within those 7 there is some overlap of those who speak multiple languages) from 11 different countries. All of us are under 45 years old. I am towards the older end of the spectrum, but not the oldest here. We have gathered here in Rome, at the home of our General Administration, for a number of reasons: to strengthen our bonds as younger Marianist sisters, to come to understand what it means to be a part of an international congregation, to visit the important places of our foundation (we go to France in a few days!), to pray together, and to discuss our future.... Tall order, yes?

There have been many things that have struck me so far in our time together...

Communication has been difficult, to say the least. Many people understand some English, but not everyone. 2 sisters can understand both Spanish and French, and some English (one is from France the other is from Brazil)... Our sisters from the Province of Japan are actually Vietnamese and can speak Vietnamese, Japanese, Korean and English (English is the lesser known) ... Our sisters from Korea speak Korean... some Japanese... and very little English. Our sisters from Africa (Togo and Côte d'Ivoire) are French speaking, but they studied English in high school, therefore many of them can still speak some English (one of them, Chantal, serves as a translator from English to French... we work together on the coordinating team)... Our 3 Indian sisters have Malayalam as a first language and can speak Hindi, English, and Italian (they did their formation and some professional training here in Rome)... Of our Spanish speaking sisters (from Chile, Colombia and Ecuador), only one of them knows some English (Carmen, from Ecuardor, serves with Chantal and me on the team)... Denise, from Brazil, has Portuguese as her first language... she can speak Spanish enough to get by and speaks French very well. Lastly, Nathalie from France is a Latin professor, so her command of languages in general is pretty good. She understands some Spanish and speaks a little and the same with English...

From just the above paragraph I have learned: 1) that we are very creative in trying to communicate - hand gestures, facial expressions, miming, etc. 2) so many sisters here have made an effort to learn English... I am humbled by the experience of not being able to communicate my ideas in another language when so many are doing quite well in English. When we split into language groups, I am the only person in the English language group who has English as a first language. The other 5 in my group are the 2 Vietnamese sisters from Japan and the 3 Indian sisters. We do very well, but I realize that they have to work so much harder than I do. As an American, I am spoiled in many ways...

And in spite of the communication difficulties (and even frustration for some), we have had some amazing, honest conversations both in small groups and in the larger group. I am blown away at how fast we developed a sense of trust among us to talk about deeper issues - what it's like to be the youngest professed in community - our hopes and fears concerning the future - the importance of learning a 2nd (or 3rd or 4th) language - the interesting phenomenon about which provinces have many vocations coming and what provinces don't... and why - and what it is about us that unites us as one....

To list everything, I'd have to write something much longer than this. But, know that our time here has been very rich. Thank you for your prayers!

We have also had some fun... teasing each other, sharing our cultures (food, language, songs, pictures etc). We do a lot of singing - in every language! Earlier today we went to St. Peter's for Mass and a short tour of Rome... and gelato, of course! It was a very good day.

In the afternoon today we spent time in language groups in our archives. I saw letters and books of accounts written in our foundress Mother Adele's handwriting!! That was amazing to me. Such a richness. In a few days we will leave for France to visit some important places in our history - Agen where Adele was born, Bordeaux where the Marianist family was first formed and 3 other cities. We are very excited. Most of us have never been there.

Below, I have placed a few pictures. Enjoy... Pray for us...

Blessings,

Sr. N

2011-07-13T06:49:00.002-04:00

Come no nearer! Remove the sandals from your feet,

for the place where you stand is holy ground.

Exodus 3: 5

In a few hours - 3 1/2 to be exact - I will board a plane from Dayton to Newark... and then after a 4 hour layover another flight from Newark to Rome. To say that I am excited this morning is an understatement!

I wasn't planning on blogging this morning, but I was so struck by the appropriateness of today's first reading from Exodus that I thought I'd share some thoughts before leaving town...

I was struck this morning by something I never noticed before in the story of Moses' call. Moses said to God, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and lead the children of Israel out of Egypt?" What's interesting is that God doesn't start listing off qualities that make Moses qualified... God doesn't say, "But Moses, you're perfect for this and this is why..." Instead God simply says, "I will be with you." And then God lets Moses know how he'll be able to tell this is true. "I will be with you." A simple statement... about God... not about Moses, necessarily.

I'm not sure about anyone else who reads this blog, but I can sometimes get so caught up on exactly why I can't do something. Who am I to attend a leadership workshop? Who am I to help facilitate the meetings in Rome? Who am I to... And the list goes on! Today I received a simple reminder... It's not about me! Funny how I get those reminders every once in a while. God is present. God is faithful. That's all.

And so, with the reminder that God will be with me, I leave for adventures in Rome (and France). Perhaps I should remove the impediments to recognizing the holy ground on which I stand - my "sandals" if you will.

Many blessings!

Sr. N

2011-07-08T07:41:00.005-04:00

We are a small Congregation, but very spread out,

with a great plurality of cultures, all animated by the same spirit,

"the spirit of Mary".

It is this spirit that impels us to live the reality of our smallness...

as a possible revelation of God.

It is a way of of opening ourselves to interprovincial solidarity,

of uniting our strengths in the common mission,

of growing in the sense of being Marianist Family in the Church.

Women of Hope, 22

Document of the Marianist Sisters' 29th General Chapter

Rome, August 2002

As you may already know, on Wednesday July 13 I will leave Dayton for my first trip to Europe. On Saturday July 17, 23 temporary professed Marianist Sisters from 13 countries will gather in Rome at our Generalate. We are from Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, Ecuador, France, Italy, Ivory Coast, India, Japan, Korea, Togo and the US. We will meet for 1 week in Rome... and then we will travel to France to important places in our history - to Agen (the birth place of our foundress), Bordeaux (the birth place of the Marianist family) and other important cities there. Then it will be back to Rome for a few days of closing sessions and back to our respective countries on August 1.

Now, you may wonder, why are we doing this? What's this all about?

The above quote comes from one of our General Chapter documents. Every 5 years delegates from each province (or region/unit) gather in Rome to make decisions concerning the Congregation. At the last Chapter, 2007, the General Administration was given the mission of "animating the relationships and exchanges that enhance communion"(To the Ends of the Earth, 20) within our Congregation. We are one year away from our next General Chapter. It seems that the gathering to which I am going is not only an opportunity to increase a sense of communion among us, but also, perhaps, to give us an opportunity to contribute something to the General Chapter (we cannot be delegates because we are temporary professed).

While I was in Fremont at the leadership workshop, I received an e-mail from our General Administration asking for my assistance as part of the coordinating team for our gathering. Of course, those of you who know me well know that I simply could not say no to such an invitation. :) So, I've been working with our General Assistant for Religious Life, Sr. Susanna Kim (from Korea) via e-mail on our schedule for our time in Rome, discussion points, processes etc. It's exciting... but it's also a little daunting. Not that I haven't lead conversations or programs before, but never something so important or broad as this. Not only that, but there will be several different languages!

And so, I've also been working my tail-end off on getting some essential Spanish! El proceso es muy lento, pero poco a poco soy aprendo. (Who knows if that verb is in the right tense??) Our 2007 Chapter document, To the Ends of the Earth, states: "The Chapter was captivated by the spirit already expressed in 2002, of progress in communion through learning languages, exchanging news, and encounters between different Units." You see, each sister in the Congregation is encouraged to learn another of our official languages - English, French, Spanish. Although many of our founding documents are in French, I opted for Spanish. It seems more practical for life in the North American Church.

Please keep our gathering in Rome/France in your prayers. I will keep you posted on the goings on!

Many blessings to all who read this,

Sr. N

2011-07-02T08:37:00.003-04:00

We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us.

God is love, and whoever remains in love

remains in God and God in him (or her).

1 John 4: 16

Blessings to you on this Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus! It is a wonderful gift to have this opportunity to contemplate the love God has for us. And, indeed, it is a good time to reflect on the ways in which we are called to respond to that love.

In this time between workshops and traveling I've had the great gift of time... time to reflect... time to pray... time to laugh with friends... time to help friends carry heavy burdens... time to clean windows (okay, not terribly exciting, but it has to get done!)... time to be.

Lately, I've been spending time on our back porch swing in the mornings. It's my prayer spot (when it's warmer than 35 degrees). God and I have had good conversations back there. It is sacred space for me. This morning in my prayer, I was overwhelmed by the readings for today's Mass. Anytime the readings focus on the immensity of God's love, I am overwhelmed. There were a few lines that caught me more than usual, though, and I'd like to share that with you.

"It is not because you are the largest nation that the Lord set his heart on you and chose you, for you are really the smallest of all nations. It was because the Lord loved you and because of his fidelity to the oath he had sworn your fathers..." (from the 1st reading - Deut. 7: 6-11)

"Merciful and gracious is the Lord, slow to anger and abounding in kindness. Not according to our sins does God deal with us..." (Psalm 103)

"Beloved, if God so loved us, we must also love one another." (from the 2nd reading - 1 John 4: 7-16)

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves." (from the Gospel - Matthew 11:25-30)

This weekend as we celebrate our country and its independence, let us keep in mind that with independence and freedom come responsibility. Let us entrust our country to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary... that we might learn to love as God loves... With kindness, humility, meekness, fidelity and with a slowness to anger towards all those who live in the margins of our society - the immigrant, the homeless, the gay, the unborn, those sentenced to death, and those we have labeled as enemies. May God have mercy on us and help us to love more generously.

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2011-06-23T14:58:00.004-04:00

Ideally, Marianist leaders, deeply rooted in prayer, encourage the gifts of the people with whom they work in order to work towards a common vision in a way that is essentially collaborative and consensus building and strongly dependent on the action of the Spirit.

~ Me :)

It's only been a week since the last time I posted and yet I feel like there's so much to say! The day after my "trifecta celebration" (vow renewal, birthday, graduation party) I left for a workshop on Leadership in the Marianist Tradition. The picture at the top of this post is our group on the last day of the workshop.

Three years ago the Marianist brothers of the United States began a process of training the "next generation" of Marianist leaders. It is a two year training process that includes 2 summer workshops, an assessment of individual strengths and areas for growth, readings on leadership, sharing "best practices" and designing/implementing a "change project."

The first cohort finished their two years last summer. The second cohort, my cohort, began the process in September 2010 with readings, conference calls, and the individual assessment. Over the next academic year we will each be working towards the implementation of a change project with a mentor. My mentor is the brother on the back row in the yellow shirt... and I am blessed to work with such a brother!

I entered our time together in Fremont, Ohio a little intimidated. Not because I was the only Sister... I'm pretty used to that and don't mind. But because I was the only one there who is still in formation and is not and has not been in a position of leadership in the "Marianist world." The brothers in the above pic are community directors, former novice directors, former provincials, area coordinators for a region of Marianists, and a vocations coordinator. Our facilitators for the program are the former president of the Univ of Dayton and a former member of the Gen. Admin and current director of an international center for Marianist formation for the brothers. And here I was... just plain old Nicole.

BUT...

If you know the Marianists at all you know that they (and I guess we) are a humble bunch of folks. I felt at ease within a day or so because there was no sense of separation among us. My voice and opinion was just as valuable as everyone else's. And... I learned A LOT. We all did, I think.

I do not want to bore you with the details of what I learned, but I would like to share with you our communal list of attributes of a Marianist leader. The definition above is one that I wrote on our first day together. On our last day, we all contributed to a list of what characterizes a Marianist leader.

This is what we discerned:

Marianist Leaders are... consultative, communal and personal, reflective listeners, anchored in goodness (preserving the core), faithful to the charism of our founders, modeled on Mary, collaborative - valuing all voices at the table, passionate for the mission, able to maintain a healthy balance, providers of options and alternatives, looking to meet the needs of the Church, making contributions to something larger than the "Marianist world," consensus building, Magnificat people ("My soul proclaims the greatness of my God!"), quintessentially feminine, modeled on Jesus washing the feet of the disciples, empowering the giftedness of others, deeply rooted in prayer - people of God, discerning risk-takers, persevering, compassionate, transparent, and people who embody an incarnational spirituality.

May each of us, and all leaders in the Marianist family, seek the Spirit's guidance to grow in these ways.

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2011-06-10T10:13:00.003-04:00

By the profession of the evangelical counsels

we intend to live our Baptism more fully.

Thus we unite ourselves, freely and lovingly,

to Christ’s saving mission.

(Rule of Life I.10)

Yesterday was a big day for me... Not only was it my 36th birthday (3 DOZEN YEARS OLD! When did that happen?!)... But I also renewed my vows yesterday in our Dayton community... and we celebrated both of those along with the completion of the M.A.... It was a "trifecta celebration!" A few close friends who are Marianist brothers joined our community for evening prayer followed by a social, casual dinner and conversation. It was a fantastic day!

Yesterday morning during my time of private prayer I was filled with gratitude for the year gone by... It was a full year, to say the least! Let me share with you a few of the highlights (in chronological order, of course)...

Last summer I joined the Marianist brothers in Louisville, Kentucky for a gathering of those of us who were temporary professed at the time... followed by their assembly at which I was a panelist in one of their discussions. I blogged about it at the time. It was such a grace-filled gathering!
I completed my ministry with the Marianist LIFE South program last summer and handed over the coordinator role to my friend Kristin. I worked with the LIFE program for 10 years... and they were blessed years...
Marianist brothers Bob Jones and Andy Kosmowski professed final vows in St. Louis in October. Sr. Laura and our two contacts made a road trip down for the celebrations... It was a weekend I will not soon forget! Beautiful! And the four of us had a great time in the car and at the retreat center where we stayed...
El Salvador in January... wow. What a eye-opening and graced trip...
LA Religious Ed Congress in March... always a blessing!
Marianist Women's Summit in March in San Antonio. I never blogged about that... it was the weekend before my comprehensive exams, so I wasn't doing much on line those days. We had over 50 Marianist women gathered in San Antonio - both lay and vowed, ages 20 through 82... from several states and Canada... That weekend was filled with the Spirit of God. That's the best way to describe it. Here's a link to a slide show from that weekend... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxKin-QpqZg
PASSED MY COMPS in March! WOO HOO!
Celebrated the first profession of two novices and good friends - Bro. Jose Julian and Bro. Joe....
Spent 2 weeks in Cape May, New Jersey in May... followed by a week in Texas...

And here I am. While you might not be able to tell... each of the above bullet points was a time of great grace and a moment/event for which I am extremely grateful. There are others, of course, but these are "representative sample." :)

It has been a whirlwind, blessed year. I pray that all who read this might also take the time to make a list of events/moments for which you are grateful.... It's a wonderful way to begin the day.

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2011-06-10T08:07:00.004-04:00

My dear friends, I wish you the peace of the Lord, and I embrace you with all my heart.

Adéle, Letters, 192.8

Happy 222nd birthday to Mother Adele de Batz de Trenquelleon - foundress of the Marianist Sisters!

Since it's been several months now since my last post, I thought today would be an appropriate time to start again... to recommit to posting on my blog... to reconnect with you... to reconnect with me as a writer... and to celebrate this life to which I've been called.

There are many things that I admire about Adele... her spunk, her courage, faith, compassion, vision... and her ability to really connect to people and maintain those connections through the years... just to name a few. Each of the Marianist Sisters in the world have been gifted by the Spirit with a portion of the spirit of Adele - our charism. And at times I can sense that Adele is walking with me... encouraging me when I'm tempted to remain silent... smiling as I try to articulate a vision... and standing next to me as I discern possible next steps.

Adele was a woman of deep prayer - a true contemplative in action. I'm not sure how much sleep she was ever able to get... waking early to pray... writing endless letters to her "Dear Friends"... teaching... and being mother & sister to those with her. Thank God for her dedication, prayer, and spunk!

Oh, that I might have a little more of her spirit - especially as I prepare to make a transition in ministry. Yep... I have resigned from U.D. and accepted a position at one of the Marianist high schools. Officially I will be serving as Assistant Director of Ministry and Service... and also teaching 1 or 2 freshman theology classes. I have to admit, this transition is very exciting to me - I think I'm finally ready to step back into the world of secondary ed... with a new sense of purpose, vision, and maturity (praise God!). But, at the same time, I'm a little nervous. Teaching is such a vulnerable ministry, I feel.

So, that's one piece of the excitement of the past few months. Other news: I passed my comprehensive exams and now have a 2nd masters degree... I will renew my vows next week... I'm going to Rome in July (No worries, I'll blog!)... It's been a FULL few months.

Well, I must be going. Please know of my prayers... and I hope that I can depend on yours!

Many blessings to all who read this,

Sr. N

2011-03-10T08:21:00.003-05:00

If anyone wishes to come after me,

he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

Luke 9: 23

Lenten greetings to you all... I meant to post yesterday, in commemoration of Ash Wednesday, but in a way I'm glad that I never quite had the time... The readings for today are so rich...

Lent has always been a good liturgical season for me. I look forward to Lent. It's the time for making a new start... for hitting the spiritual "reset" button... to make things right. Essentially, it is a time for conversion, deepening, and allowing ourselves to be re-rooted in God. What could be a greater grace than that?

Actually, each day we have the choice. Not just in Lent. ... Our first reading from Deuteronomy points that out "I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Choose life, then, that you and your descendants may live, by loving the Lord, your God, heeding his voice, and holding fast to him." And our Gospel from Luke reminds us of the daily nature of choosing to pick up our cross... for in this is life.

Life. Lent is about life - each day choosing the path that leads to life. Lent is about having our lives re-ordered... About being planted near the waters of life so that our lives can bear abundant fruit... It's about having God as the center, source, and goal of our lives and being rid of those obstacles that impede that.

But, it's not just about our lives. It's about the life of the world... Re-ordering our world so that it becomes what God created it to be - the Kingdom of God marked by peace, justice, mercy, compassion, forgiveness, love.

Yesterday the governor of Illinois abolished the death penalty in that state (thank you for choosing life!). Here in Ohio we will execute someone today. ... People who desire rights are being persecuted, murdered in the streets of Libya, Egypt, Bahrain... Fighting continues in Afganhastan and Iraq... Human rights abuses continue in Mexico, El Salvador, Zimbabwe... millions in the U.S. live in poverty with dwindling avenues to seek help...

Lent. Prayer. Fasting. Almsgiving...

"This, rather, is the fasting that I wish: releasing those bound unjustly, untying the thongs of the yoke; setting free the oppressed, breaking every yoke; sharing your bread with the hungry, sheltering the oppressed and the homeless; clothing the naked when you see them, and not turning your back on your own. Then your light shall break forth like the dawn, and your wound shall quickly be healed." ~ Isaiah 58: 6-8a

May you be richly blessed as we enter the Lenten season.
Sr. N

2011-02-21T13:59:00.003-05:00

You want to know me? You want to see my face?

I do not age with time. I do not fit into a space.

I transcend the capacity of your eye, so who am I?

That is the question of the moment; it is the question for all time.

I am you and you are mine.

God Is ~ Danielle Rose

A lot of times when I'm driving around and no one is in the car with me I listen to NPR... either that or I use the time to reflect in silence. This morning was an NPR morning. As I was listening to the news, a story came on about a new law in Afghanistan. It is a law that would place all women's shelters (including homes for battered women) under the auspices of the Ministry of Women's Affairs. That doesn't sound bad at first. However, it is much worse than what one might imagine.

Check out the story at this link: http://www.npr.org/2011/02/21/133865996/kabul-seeks-control-of-womens-shelters

I don't necessarily want to retell the story here on this website. I'm not really a journalist. However, I would like to share with you my initial reaction to this story...

About mid-way through the story I said to myself (actually, outloud... I was alone, you know): "I can't do this. It's too difficult." And I promptly turned the radio off. Here I am... with freedom to drive a car, go to the gym, live an unmarried vowed life... I've never been tortured or beaten. I've never even been in a fight. And yet this was "too difficult." I chose ignorance rather than to be challenged, hurt, or perhaps changed.

How often do I choose not to listen? To ignore the voice of God in the life of another because truly entering another person's chaos is too much for me?

It made me think of the song I quoted above. If you've never heard this song I encourage you to listen to it: http://s0.ilike.com/play#Danielle+Rose:God+Is:5573642:s45253831.11662740.21431876.0.2.64%2Cstd_ff1b5863d28441bc86fe0b855fdb8bcc

These women in Afghanistan... or El Salvador... or Egypt... or at the numerous shelters of Dayton, Ohio... are Christ. "Whatever you have done to these least ones, you have done for me." And what might be even more difficult to grasp... not only are these women Christ in our world today, so are those who oppress them. That's the more difficult thing to recognize.

I have sinsc finished listening to - and reading - the story on line. As I imagined, it wasn't easy. However, chosing ignorance is not the call.

Abundant blessings to all who read this,

Sr. N

2011-02-14T07:36:00.005-05:00

The community of believers was of one heart and mind, and no one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they had everything in common.

Acts 4:32

First, I should say Happy Valentine's Day... well, actually, happy feast of Sts. Cyril and Methodius! Unfortunately, people don't typically know a whole lot about Cyril and Methodius... But, alas... today's feast is not the focus of today's reflections...

As a Marianist and as a staff person at the University of Dayton, I hear a lot of talk about community. People say that the community of UD is what sets it apart from other places. It's something intangible... there's a bond... or some people call it a sense of family. They attribute this sense to the fact that the school is Marianist. For Marianists community is a means of bringing Christ to the world. "Many people will never grasp the message of Christ until they see a credible witness of it. Many will never know Christ's love until they experience it in a community. Our mission is to provide such communities." (A Manual of Marianist Spirituality)

When many students (not all) at UD are asked about what community is, they say things like, "I know my neighbors." Or "If I walk through the student neighborhood on a weekend night I can go into any party and it's okay." Or perhaps they talk about the way people party together several days in a row...

Each year it is estimated that 10-12 students at UD attempt suicide. Some people feel isolated... alone... Rates of depression are very high. Unfortunately, this is true on many college campuses, but people don't really like to talk about it. This isn't what community is about. True community would not allow for this.

I've been reflecting on community recently in light of my experiences in El Salvador last month. It was there that I caught a glimpse of community that I hope I never forget. It's difficult to put into words. However, in La Ceiba (the small village in which I lived with a family for a few days) community is their means of survival. They truly depend on one another in a way I've not experienced. There was no sense of individualism... or possessiveness... or being rushed/hurried to go on to the next thing. People... relationships... empathy... compassion... These were their priorities. The people of La Ceiba settled there after living in the refugee camps of Honduras during the civil war. They traveled back to El Salvador together just before the war ended. Without each other, they never would have been able to survive. And still... without sharing food... water... laughter... parenting responsibilities... survival would be difficult.

This is a sharp contrast to what I see around me and within me. People rushed and hurried (me included!)... superficial relationships... people using others for their own selfish needs... possessiveness... "my time," "my money," "this is what I want," sort of mentality. It's no wonder people feel lonely and isolated...

When I was in high school a friend of mine from middle school took her life. She left in her note that she was alone. There was no one who really cared about her. There are hundreds of young people like her all around us. Can we step out of our own little world to see them?

May we become people of real community... Christ-centered and unselfish. May we put others ahead of ourselves and stop perpetuating the "me first" mindset. In the words of Dorothy Day, may we learn, "Love and ever more love is the only solution to every problem that comes up. If we love each other enough, we will bear with each others' faults and burdens. If we love enough, we are going to light that fire in the hearts of others. And it is love that will burn out the sins and hatreds that sadden us. It is love that will make us want to do great things for each other. No sacrifice and no suffering will then seem too much."

Many blessings to you all!

Sr. N

2011-02-06T08:40:00.003-05:00

If you remove from your midst oppression, false accusation and malicious speech; if you bestow your bread on the hungry and satisfy the afflicted; then light shall rise for you in the darkness and the gloom shall become for you like midday.

Isaiah 58:9b-10

Do you know those days when you can say without a doubt, "I see the Spirit of God active and alive here in this place in these people... and it is light." Or perhaps you know someone whose very being radiates God's compassion and concern for the poor and oppressed... and they're so full of joy you know it's of God?

Well, I know that I have those days. And if I'm honest with myself they happen more often than I pay attention to. However, I cannot over look the experience I had yesterday.

First, I need to set a little context. There is seems to be a movement here in Ohio (mostly the Dayton and Cincinnati regions) of Lay Marianist communities living in such a way that they become a source of vibrancy, life, justice and faith for their neighborhoods and cities. It's difficult to explain unless you've experienced it. Anyway, most of these communities are not "residential communities." Meaning, most Lay Marianists live in different houses with their families. That's pretty typical for people outside of religious life, right?

Here in Dayton, however, there are communities of Lay Marianists popping up that are people who live together - share common prayer together, have a mission statement about how they are going to be witnesses and community builders in their neighborhoods etc. It's an amazing Spirit-led phenomenon.

Yesterday a very large number of Marianists - both lay and vowed - came together in the home of one such Lay Marianist community. The community is comprised of two married couples who intentionally purchased a house on a side of town that is under-resourced... to help build community there... to witness to their faith and the sacrament of marriage... because they are committed to living lives of justice & peace. Anyway, we were there to bless their home and to celebrate with them the formation of their community.

Listening to their mission statement... sharing prayer and conversation with others who are committed to building communities of justice and peace... witnessing the power of God's Spirit in the hearts of those around me... I was in the embrace of the type of light spoken about by today's first reading from Isaiah (quoted above). This community (and others like it) are prophetic and a light for a sometimes dark society. May God continue to bless them and all who seek to bring about a more just society.

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2011-01-25T07:39:00.003-05:00

Remember your leaders who spoke the word of God to you.

Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.

Hebrews 13:7

Jesus... Stephen... the apostles... Paul... Agnes... Felicity... Perpetua... Joan of Arc... Marianist martyrs... Martin Luther King Jr.... JFK... RFK... Archbishop Oscar Romero... Ita Ford... Dorothy Kazel... Jean Donovan... Maura Clark... Dorothy Stang... and countless others... Murdered for speaking truth... asking for conversion of hearts...

The day after I returned from El Salvador our nation commemorated the life and vision of Martin Luther King Jr. I was struck last week by the fact that so many people in our history as a people of faith and in our so called secular history have been murdered for speaking uncomfortable truths. Killed for standing up for the rights and dignity of the people around them... asking for conversion of hearts to love for all people.

Today the Church celebrates the conversion of St. Paul - one of those who once persecuted and murdered those who spoke uncomfortable truths. His conversion is a sign that hearts can indeed be converted. He was eventually killed as well.

"Unless a grain of wheat shall fall upon the ground and die it remains but a single grain with no life." That was the theme of the prayer service our community celebrated when I entered formation with the Marianist Sisters in 2005. I believe that I've come to a deeper understanding of this phrase in recent years. At the time of my entrance to the Sisters I understood it in its spiritual sense... in a Pauline sense... dying to one's ego and false self in order to rise as a person more Christ-like. While this is true, it is also true in a real, physical sense.

Sometimes speaking out for the rights and dignity of self and/or of others can result in death. It happens over and over in our world... People in power do not like being asked to change. Well, truth be told, a lot of people are not eager to change - be it behaviors, attitudes, routines, etc. I, personally, am not crazy about change at all. But, if people stopped speaking out... stopped standing up for truth, justice, peace... what a terrible world this would be. And conversion of hearts would be more difficult.

We are called to follow the examples set by those who lived in love, spoke the truth, and stood up for those who were oppressed. I think I have to recognize that sometimes that leads to unpopular opinions (and sometimes worse than that) of those who enjoy the status quo... First, I have to be converted... to love, to insight into injustice and to courage. Then, to follow the examples of those who have gone before us.

As we celebrate the conversion of St. Paul today, may we pray for continual conversion of hearts... that eventually justice and peace might flourish in our world.

Blessings to all who read this,

Sr. N

2011-01-22T08:38:00.003-05:00

It seems to me that we must not become discouraged

if we encounter some obstacle in the way of necessary change.

Never has change been done and never will it be done without difficulty.

With patience we will come to an end of all.

Blessed William Joseph Chaminade

Today is a special day in the Marianist family - the 250th anniversary of the birth of one of our founders, William Joseph Chaminade... whose cause for canonization continues to move forward. I've not written much about him in the past as far as I can remember. That is unfortunate, really. For he really is someone to be emulated in many ways.

I'll give you a short version of his role in the foundation of the Marianist Family...

He was a diocesan priest in the Diocese of Bourdeaux, France when the French Revolution began. When religious and priests were being targeted and persecuted he decided to continue ministering to people incognito. At the time he was spiritual director to Marie Therese de Lamorous - another of our founders. To make a long story short, he was exiled to Spain. He arrived in Zaragoza, Spain on Oct. 11 - the eve of the feast of Our Lady of the Pillar, a significant feast for the city. It was there in Zaragoza - praying in front of a statue of Our Lady of the Pillar - that Chaminade was inspired with a vision. We do not know exactly what the vision was, but we do know that he found the inspiration to bring faith back into France upon his return in new ways - new times call for new means (a paraphrase of one of his quotes) - through communities (sodalities)...

Upon his return to France, in collaboration with Marie Therese (who was ministering to people in her parish in the absence of ordained or vowed pastoral ministers) he began to form sodalities - small communities of younger people - that they might grow in faith, find support for one another, and "multiply Christians." Adele, our 3rd founder - a young woman in the French countryside - was doing the same thing with young women. The two became connected and together the 3 of them helped birth what we know now as the Marianist Family.

That was the very short version... :)

Now, what does all that mean for now? There are a few things that stand out to me...

- New times call for new means. He was a person who was not afraid to think outside the box... way outside the box, actually. He had been a parish priest... and not that he abandoned the parishes, but he believed that the ministry of parishes had to be supplemented with something. He petitioned Rome to become a "Missionary Apostolic" so that he could have freedom to move around France creating these groups.

- Speaking of thinking outside the box, his main collaborators were an older, single lay woman (Marie Therese) and a much younger woman who was to become the first superior of the Marianist Sisters (Adele). This was the early 1800s! That's revolutionary, really.

- He faced many obstacles in his life, but did not lose faith and trust in the God who called him to the work - and he wholehearted placed himself in the hands of Mary.

I find inspiration in people who think outside the box - who ask the bigger questions - people who are essentially visionaries. And on this day, having been back from El Salvador for just under a week, I find myself pondering this idea of new times needing new means... of collaborating with seemingly unlikely people... of bringing people back (including myself) to the core of our faith - which, of course, is love.

On a slightly tangental note, Tuesday night at UD I heard Geoffrey Canada speak about education, children, schools... about needing new means in these new times. This is a recurring theme in my life these days...

I'd like to share with you a part of a letter Chaminade wrote to Adele the year before the foundation of the Marianist Sisters...

As to what in particular is to distinguish you from the other orders, it is zeal for the salvation of souls. The principles of religion and of virtue must be made known; Christians must be multiplied. ... what are we to do then? ... Your community will be composed entirely of missionary religious....

And that is what we seek to be - missionary religious. And that mission?

Our work is great; it is magnificent. If it is universal it is because we are the missionaries of Mary who says to us: "Do whatever He will tell you!" Yes, we are all missionaries. To each of us the most Blessed Virgin has confided a mandate to work at the salvation of our brothers [and sisters] in the world.

And so I ponder - what does Jesus tell me to do? In short, it boils down to love. To type that is so easy. How - concretely speaking? That's another question entirely...

Blessed Chaminade Day to all who read this...

Sr. N

2011-01-17T07:20:00.008-05:00

A true revolution of values will soon cause us to question

the fairness and justice of many of our past and present policies.

On the one hand we are called to play the good Samaritan on life's roadside,

but that will be only an initial act.

One day we must come to see that the whole Jericho road must be transformed

so that men and women will not be constantly beaten and robbed

as they make their journey on life's highway.

True compassion is more than flinging a coin at a beggar:

it is not haphazard and superficial.

It comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Last night I returned from my first trip to Central America. I traveled with 12 UD students to El Salvador for an immersion experience. To say that the trip was eye-opening, educational, moving, and inspiring are all understatements. It will be a long while before I can process everything. However, I would like to share with you all a few lessons learned... some serious and some not so much (as is my typical way)...

The Salvadoran people that I met are people of great resilience, hope, faith and compassion. They have suffered so much injustice through the years - and continue to suffer, truth be told - and yet they continue to believe... to work for justice... to care about the people around them. It certainly put things in perspective for me.
The men and women religious working in El Salvador have been key in some of the most desperate situations - people depend on them. They are trusted by people because they work for and love all people. And the religious I met are people of joy and hope - the type that is contagious for those around them. That's the kind of religious I hope I grow to be- unselfish, joy-filled... and working along side of those who are marginal in our society.
You don't need an alarm clock with a small town full of roosters.
Archbishop Oscar Romero may not be canonized by the institutional church, but he is a saint... and he, even in death (or perhaps more so?), is the hope of the people of El Salvador. Entering the home in which he lived and the chapel in which he was martyred, one can sense so strongly his presence... and his impact on the country. Amazing...
I met many women who are survivors of torture (some of them had been tortured many times) and rape at the hands of Salvadoran military people and law enforcement during the civil war years. Their stories - and their plea to help them close the "School of the Americas" or "WHINSEC" (www.soaw.org) will not soon leave my memory.
When entering the US upon returning from Central America, do not attempt to bring fresh fruit - even if it's "just an apple" - if you do not have at least 45 minutes to go through a separate security line. Also, don't attempt to throw said apple in the trash. The check point people don't like that.
The illiteracy rate in El Salvador is estimated to be 19%. Chances are that's a low estimate. Unacceptable.
Many people who live in the outlying areas depend on their coffee growing for income. Much of the coffee, from what I saw, is being grown on mountain sides where it is steep and difficult to harvest. Buying "fair trade" coffee would be so helpful to many of these people. Harvesting coffee isn't easy. And the big coffee manufacturers are not paying these laborers nearly what the work is worth. Something to think about.
US foreign policy is not something to ignore. Our policies and our lifestyle have a much larger, global impact than what we might realize. I need to pay more attention. People's lives depend on it.
You never know how much you miss something like oatmeal until you eat beans for breakfast for 10 days.
One can learn all about liberation theology, the history of a country like El Salvador, and be moved to feel many things. But it doesn't mean anything unless it translates to concrete actions. Those actions don't have to be big or dramatic. But, all the learning is for naught if something doesn't change. With learning comes responsibility - that's why people say "ignorance is bliss." Ignorance, however, is not an option. And therefore, neither is non-action.

I could write much more. However, I also know that not everything needs to be written now... I want to leave you with a quote from Dorothy Day. While I was gone I read some of a book with selected writings by Dorothy Day. Here's something that stood out to me:

Love and ever more love is the only solution to every problem that comes up. If we love each other enough, we will bear with each other's faults and burdens. If we love enough, we are going to light that fire in the hearts of others. And it is love that will burn out the sins and hatreds that sadden us. It is love that will make us want to do great things for each other. No sacrifice and no suffering will then seem too much.

Amen.

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2010-12-25T08:09:00.003-05:00

What good is it that Christ was born 2000 years ago, if he is not born now in your hearts?

Meister Eckhart

Forgive me, friends, for I've been absent. It's been four months since my last post... FOUR MONTHS! Goodness! Time flies...

First things first - MERRY CHRISTMAS! What a blessed day today is... God took on our human condition... God took flesh in the womb of a woman who believed and loved enough to say yes... God entered our world for love of us. And how blessed are we because of that. Today is a wonderful day for reflection... for gratitude... for rejoicing in the grace of God. At least, that is true for me.

On this Christmas day I find myself grateful for so many blessings. It's been a very full few months since my last post. It's been an incredible time of grace. How could it be otherwise? For the presence of God has been so evident...

For some students at UD it was the most painful semester they've experienced because of a parent's death or other situations that were trying and heart wrenching. Sitting with them, never having the appropriate words, but being present... difficult... But, Christ was made present in those times - in the midst of tears and confusion. God took on flesh.... In the craziness of balancing academic work, community life, and ministry... Christ was manifested. In discernment about the future... confusion in times of decision... Christ took on flesh. In the quiet of an Advent retreat at Gethsemani... the hush of snow... the sacrament of reconciliation and praying before the Blessed Sacrament... Christ was manifested. In times of loneliness and the instability of human friendship... God was enfleshed. In the call to simplify and let go... in the seed of justice and peace taking root within... Christ is made present.

And that's the beauty of this day. God is made manifest. Not only 2000 years ago, but each day and in many ways. It is a cause of joy, indeed!

May this Christmas season bring each of you peace and joy... and the ability to recognize the incarnation of God with each day.

Blessings to all who read this,

Sr. N

2010-08-12T18:12:00.003-04:00

I fasted in order to set my heart at rest.

"The Woodcarver" by Thomas Merton

Yesterday and this morning I had the great pleasure of being on retreat with my coworkers in UD Campus Ministry. We discussed and prayed about our true selves... the love of God... and creating safe space for students and others to be their true selves. To say that there was a lot to ponder is an understatement!

Today at the end of our prayer time together, we read a poem by Joyce Rupp called "Prayer for Openness." It struck a chord with me and I wanted to share it with you...

Spirit of freedom,
open my mind and my heart.
Lift the barriers,
unbind the strong grasp of my demands
when I want everything to go my way.

God of spaciousness,
reach into my inner space,
sweep out all the old clutter,
enlarge my capacity to receive.

Bringer of truth,
empty me of whatever impedes
the growth of our relationship.
Help me recognize and accept
your sources for my growth.

Creator of the seasons of life,
soften my resistance to emptying.
May I welcome each inner season
as a catalyst for my transformation.

Faithful Friend,
deepen my trust in you.
Ease my doubts, fears, and discouragements.
When I am feeling vulnerable,
remind me that you are my safe haven.

Divine Mystery,
may I be ever more rooted in you.
Draw me into solitude.
Entice me into endless encounters
where I experience oneness with you.

Holy Whisper,
open the ears of my heart.
May I hear your voice within the silence
as well as within the noise of my life.
Re-awaken me
so that I can listen to you wholeheartedly.

Bringer of Good and Giver of Growth,
we yearn to be open and receptive
to your generosity.
May we trust your presence amidst the cycle
of emptying and filling.

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

2010-08-06T12:48:00.002-04:00

Peter and his companions had been overcome by sleep,

but becoming fully awake they saw his glory and the two men standing with him.

As they were about to part from him, Peter said to Jesus,

"Master, it is good that we are here. Let us make three tents..."

Luke 9:32-33a

Happy Feast of the Transfiguration!

Ah, Peter. Do you sometimes think that when you read Scripture or hear a story about Peter proclaimed at Church... Oh, Peter... Today is one of those days for me. But, in the same breath I also see that Peter and I have A LOT in common!

This summer I had the great blessing of having many experiences like that Peter, James and John at the Transfiguration... having a sense of closeness with God, coming to know Jesus more deeply, and of waking up to seeing reality in a different light. And I too often said, "Oh, it would be great just to stay here..." wherever "here" happened to be...

That is not the call, though. Today's feast is a great reminder of that. It's a reminder, for me that life is full of "mountain top experiences"... and that's not a bad thing! But life is more than that... and God is part of all of it. It's all part of our process of growing into the image of God we are created to be.

So, as the summer draws to its close (for me anyway) I am reminded on this feast to be thankful for the transfiguration experiences of the past few months... and let those feed me when the valley moments come (because they will...). That's life. And what a graced life it is.

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

2010-07-29T22:10:00.002-04:00

Remember the love (Oh, you got to, you got to remember the love)

Remember the love (You know that life is a gift from up above)

Remember the love (Share love, give love, spread love)

Measure in love (Measure, measure your life in love)

Seasons of Love

Rent

How does one measure moments in one's life? How do I measure what my life has been thus far? The song "Seasons of Love" states that one should measure one's life by how much love is shared... I tend to agree.

I've heard this song many times over the years. In the past 2 weeks, though I have heard it at least 6 times ~ and sang it at the top of my lungs. It's a good thing I enjoy it! I quote it now not just because I like the song, but because it seems appropriate at this point in time.

I have just completed my last year working with the Marianist LIFE South program. I cannot begin to put into words what this program has been for me over the past 9 years. It has helped me to become the person that I am. It helped solidify my commitment as a Marianist years before I entered the Sisters. It has also introduced me to many incredible people - who have left their prints on my heart. Lastly, it's a faith formation/leadership program in the Marianist charism that has changed lives... and that I believe in a great deal.

And so, as this chapter of my life closes, I find myself with a mix of emotions. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to work with such an incredible program. I've learned A LOT... about leadership, about myself, Marianists, and about high school students. I am also a little sad. I'll miss the place (TECABOCA - TExas CAtholic BOys CAmp - a Marianist Center in Mountain Home, Texas). And I will miss the people more than I realized I would.

And so, here's to Marianist LIFE - celebrating 40 years this year. Thank you to the people and the program for loving me into the person I am.

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2010-07-08T10:22:00.009-04:00

There is gift in the gathering.

Brian Reavey

Hi. Here I am... still around... still not blogging very often. :) Again, it's been nearly a month. There's been a lot happening in the month gone by... Suffice it to say, this is one whirlwind summer!!! Where do I start? Well, I'll give you a brief synopsis of what's been going on... then a few reflections...

In the 2 weeks following my last post, I started an independent study in canon law... turned 35 (!)... traveled to north Texas for a wedding... traveled to the Woodlands, TX to visit with a friend... and renewed my vows. I've never seen 2 weeks go by so quickly!

The canon law course was a complete surprise for me. I came to Texas expecting to take a 2-week long Scripture course on the Synoptics. Well, that was not to be. Last night I completed a 23 page rough draft of a research paper. The paper is due in August. ... My birthday was pretty low-key. I had dinner with a friend (with whom I've been friends since we were 14), his wife and their two children. The Sisters and I celebrated the night before with a nice seafood meal and lots of laughter. I celebrated the day after my birthday with the Casa Maria Marianist Community... Then, the next day, I was off to the wedding. I traveled north about 5 hours from San Antonio with a good friend who is a Marianist brother. We had a fun and completely

unproductive few days. The wedding was beautiful and the reception was fun. ... Then, it was San Antonio for 1 day and off to the Woodlands to visit another friend with whom I've been close since we were 14. She was there for a conference. So, I kept her hotel room company (working on readings in canon law) during the day and we spent time together in the evenings. I got back to San Antonio just in time for a conference call for Marianist LIFE, a working dinner (for LIFE) and then the renewal of vows on June 26.

On June 27 I traveled to Louisville, KY... I was there until July 4. You may ask, "Why Louisville?" And why was I there for an entire week??

Sunday June 27 - Tuesday July 29 was a program called "Stella Maris." It is a formation program for those of us who are temporary professed Marianists. We were assigned some readings prior to our gathering - readings on our charism, history, mission and life in Marianist community. During the days that we were together we shared with each other the fruits of our reading and prayer. We talked about community life... our mission as Marianists... the role of Mary in our lives... We shared prayer... and we had a lot of good conversations.

On Wednesday July 30 approximately 300 Marianists brothers & priests, 20 or so Lay Marianists, and 2 other Marianist sisters descended upon Louisville (and our barely large enough hotel) for the brothers' assembly - "Gather at the River." The assembly had many purposes. One purpose was to install the new provincial council. Another was to embrace the new strategic plan for the province - Vision 2020. Lastly, it's good for this group to gather - to share conversation about important things (and some not so "important") - to pray together - and to celebrate together.

You may ask why I was present for the brothers' assembly. Well... back in April the planning committee for the gathering asked me to be on a panel that would address the group. Each day during the assembly there were two panel presentations about different elements of Vision 2020. I was part of the final panel on partnership within the Marianist family. That was daunting! Luckily, several of my friends were on panels in the days prior and helped me feel a little more okay with it... and I think it went okay.

These few days since I've been back in San Antonio, I've been holed up in my room working on that crazy canon law paper. The due date on the rough draft is next week. Luckily, it's done. This afternoon I am going to Austin to visit with family. I finally get to see my dad, older sister, niece, nephew etc. When I get back, it'll be 3 days before work for LIFE South begins... Then, back to Dayton 3 weeks from now!

Okay. That wasn't exactly a brief synopsis of anything, was it. :) It's so hard to be brief when life is so full! I'll try to be brief in my reflection...

I've been thinking a lot lately about friendship... and about the vows I renewed last month. If a person is called to live a life of poverty, chastity, and obedience (and stability, in my case), then the vows allow the person to grow in the capacity to love - love God, others, and self. However, the paradox of that is that it is a somewhat solitary life. When it comes to building and sustaining relationships, a vowed religious is called to love broadly... not exclusively any one person or group of people. So, what does that mean practically???

Well... if this summer is any indication... for me it means that relationships - even close friendships - will always be in flux. I may live in the same city as a close friend for a while, but then ministry calls me or the other in a different direction. Or, perhaps, I might think that I'd like to chat with a someone, but time zone differences are too great for phone conversations or the demands of ministry/community schedule do not allow for lengthy conversations. ... I am blessed to have friends spread all over the country... which, really is a cool reality. But how does one maintain those relationships? Patience, I think, is pretty important.... Enjoying the few times you can be physically present... and the occasional phone call/e-mail/facebook update...

And so, relationships are built with the people around at the time. This does not diminish in any way the relationships with people far away. But, one cannot become so dependent on any friendships (near or far) that it leaves the person closed to other possibilities.

There's more that I could say, but I think I've rambled enough. :) I started this blog with a picture and a quote - both from the time in Louisville. I am grateful for the time with good friends... for the conversations on community, mission, and partnership... and I look towards our future with a great deal of hope.

Many blessings!

Sr. N

2010-06-12T08:29:00.004-04:00

Go placidly amid the noise and haste

and remember what peace there may be in silence...

Desiderata

Max Ehrmann

I've always had an affinity for the poem quoted above... So much so that I memorized in high school and did a "dramatic rendering" of it in my freshman English class... When I graduated from 8th grade our language arts teacher gave each of us a copy of it and said that it as good advice as we moved on from St. Mary's. How right she was... wise woman.

So, I've been thinking about blogging for a while - more than a month to be exact. Every time I thought to myself, "I'll blog later today" or "I'll blog tomorrow morning" things never went the way I thought they would. When do they ever?!

It's been a good month. Time seems to go a little too quickly, however. In order to try to capture the events and learnings since last I wrote, I thought I would use "Desiderata" to frame things... instead of writing about what's been happening in life in chronological order... (yes, I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and doing something new & different! Hard to believe, I'm sure!)...

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, a remember what peace there may be in silence."

This summer began with my annual retreat. 8 days of silence in the hills of West Virginia. I went with a group from UD - all theology or pastoral ministry grad students or PhD candidates. There were 10 of us on retreat together with 2 spiritual directors. It was a fantastic way to begin the summer. The sunsets were phenomenal... I saw many deer, turtles, rabbits, and fascinating birds... God and I had many good conversations as I took my morning and evening walks. There was a room called the "listening room" at the retreat center. In that room there was a cd player and classical cds. I listened to hours of Chopin and Mozart as I wrote in my journal and drew mandalas. It was a very creative retreat for me. Any of you who have met me or know me personally know that I am no artist. I get too frustrated because my creations aren't perfect. But, for some reason I was much more free during this time of retreat - I sat with a huge box of Crayolas (did you know they come in insane numbers like 124?!) and paper and just colored... and drew... with no plan... no sketching... and no self-judging. That in and of itself is a grace!

There were many quotes from Scripture on which I meditated on retreat. But the one that stands out most to me as being particularly significant was "I have told you this that my joy might be in you and your joy might be complete." from John's gospel. It's part of the last supper discourse when Jesus is teaching about remaining in God's love. Joy... the result of remaining in union with God and living a life of love. Joy... the result of living the life you are called to live and doing it with abandon into God's love. Why I had never really thought about things that way or from that perspective, I will never know. I am certainly glad that it was one of the graces of the retreat, though! As St. Iraneus said, "The glory of God is the human person fully alive."

"As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story."

Coming off retreat I was filled with a sense of understanding what it might mean to love... even in situations or with people that I don't particularly care for. I am constantly learning how to love. It's the lesson that community and religious life in general teaches over and over... which is good, because I think I must be a slow learner! What catches me about this part of the "Desiderata" is the idea of speaking the truth... and being on good terms with people. When I first arrived in San Antonio I had two experiences of friends who are typically positive, upbeat people... however, both were not necessarily in "good space" and so were almost cynical. It took me by surprise in both situations. My typical response would be to respond by being brought down and thinking that I had done something to cause the negative dynamic. This time, though... I was able to maintain my slightly more optimistic-realism and realize it wasn't about me. There's a novel idea... it's not always about me. :) And I pray that joy might be theirs again.

"Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit."

This statement is so true... and yet, how does one actually do that? I'm not sure, really. Although, I do think it's important to pay attention to the attitudes of the people with whom I spend time... which relationships encourage love, faith, prayer... and which don't?

Recently I was in Chicago for the Catholics on Call young adult conference (http://www.catholicsoncall.org/). No worries... I know I'm not a "young adult" anymore. I was there as a mentor/small group facilitator. I came away from that experience with a lot to ponder... to pray about... and a very long list of books I "should" read. However, in relation to this part of the "Desiderata" I remember something that the founder of "Harmony, Hope & Healing" (www.harmonyhopeandhealing.org/) said to us. We were talking about how she understood her ministry as her vocation and she came to found this fantastic ministry. She talked to us about the importance of surrounding ourselves with people who support us. When she first started thinking about how she could use her musical talents to serve the needs of the poor/homeless in Chicago, she met with a lot of resistance and questions from members of her family. But, she felt called to this... so she surrounded herself with supportive people... And eventually... she was able to found this organization.

"If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time."

This particular line... while not exactly my perspective (Career?... nope. Vocation? yes!) I do think it's true that comparing ourselves with others can be damaging....

"Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass."

I'm not sure why this particular sections starts with a statement about business. But... in a world where the news is filled with evidence of sinfulness, injustice, and selfishness... it's easy for me to get overwhelmed with grief for the state of our world. Or on closer to home, inequity all around in the educational system... the division in the Church... It could be easy for me to become cynical or jaded. But I've realized over the years, and especially in this summer, that my initial attitude is typically one of trust in the goodness of the other. Yes, it's caused me pain through the years, but somehow I think I'd rather go through life being who I am rather than a cynical shell of myself.

"Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness."

Next week I will be 35. THIRTY-FIVE! That almost seems impossible. I realize that 35 is not that old. In fact, in the grand scheme of life, it's still fairly young. However, I also am starting to grasp that maturity and wisdom are good things to continue to grow towards. Mind you, I realize that I'm not always the most mature person in a room full of peers. The thing is that now I recognize that fact, whereas I think I've been oblivious to it. I also am coming to understand that there is an important distinction between youthfulness and foolish immaturity. It's taken me a long time to understand that. It's about time!

"Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

How many times has a spiritual director told me, "Be gentle with yourself" or "Nicole, you're too harsh on yourself." Indeed! It's hard to change a way of thinking if it's how you were raised or how you've always understood life to be. Another grace of my retreat in May was coming to a clearer understanding of what it means to be gentle with oneself... without being careless. Aristotle once wrote that virtue is the mean... or some people have translated it as "virtue lies in the middle between extremes." An insight into myself this summer has been that I am a woman of extremes... all or nothing type of mentality... in most things. Not a healthy way to be! It's funny how I came to understand this. One morning on retreat I was out for a walk. All of a sudden I had an urge to run (those that know me know that I don't run). So... I ran... for a little while. It was almost a sprint. Then... I couldn't go anymore so I started jogging more slowly, but I didn't like that. So, I started walking. And I thought to myself, "Either I sprint or I walk, there is no in between. That's why I never run." Then in dawned on me - I'm like that in everything! Funny how God brings things to light in unexpected ways. I should repeat to myself every so often, "Virtue lies in the middle..."

The end of the "Desiderata" goes like this...

"Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy."

Amen!

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2010-05-06T08:38:00.005-04:00

Early in the morning, it's the dawn of a new day

- new hopes, new dreams, new ways.

I open up my eyes and I open up my mind and

I wonder how life will surprise me today.

A Beautiful Day ~ India Arie

Where has the time gone? How is it that I haven't blogged since Palm Sunday weekend? Craziness...

I suppose it's time for an update on life. My sister said to me not too long ago, "I didn't know sisters traveled so much." My response? "Well... this one does." And that's the story of my life, my friends! :)

Let's see. What's been going on since Palm Sunday... It's sad. I just had to reach for my planner....

The Triduum was beautiful as always. I won't tell you all the details of each day, but we celebrated the beauty of this short liturgical season very well. The Vigil on Holy Saturday was fantastic. Two students were baptized and another was received into full communion. It was such a joyous occasion for the UD community.

In the midst of such joy, however, the UD community was hit with 2 tragedies during Holy Week. First, a graduate student and teaching assistant took his life. It was a difficult time for many people on campus. I believe that happened just before Holy Week. Then... on Holy Thursday, a junior volleyball player and her father were killed in a plane crash on their way to pick up her sister at another college. That was very difficult also. The compassionate response of the UD community was wonderful, but the loss was just so great.

It was odd to have these tragedies in the midst of Holy Week. Perhaps, though, the timing allowed everyone some time to reflect on the Paschal Mystery... and the fact that death does not ever triumph. But it's not realistic to expect that people can ponder theology in the midst of such loss.

And then... it was April...

April was a PACKED month for me. With two weekends in a row spent out of town for Marianist LIFE planning (one weekend in Philadelphia for 4 days followed by a weekend in San Antonio for 3)... one weekend spent celebrating the jubilee of 4 brothers in Cincinnati... one weekend visiting with friends from out of town (one from LA and another from Fort Worth)... AND... finishing 2 14-page research papers for my class. No wonder April flew!

While I was in Philadelphia I spent every free second writing. The two papers that were due the last week of April were 1) an integration paper (prompt - what did you learn this semester? What new insights did you gain into spiritual direction or pastoral care?) and 2) a topic of our choice. I chose to do something on how the Marianist charism influences the way a person does spiritual direction. We didn't get page parameters for either paper. I was shooting for 12-15 pages. The first one ended up being just shy of a full 15 pages. The other was just barely 14. But... they are done. I did well and the semester is over.

So, the last week of April was finals week at UD. Many stressed out students getting very little sleep and drinking energy drinks. There were many interesting conversations happening in the Campus Ministry office of Marycrest residence hall! I'll miss the energy of the first year students I got to know this year. But, a new group will be here before I know it!

Graduation was the first weekend of May.... another busy weekend!

Now... since the students are gone (except the summer employees and those in summer courses), you'd think I'd have more time. FALSE! :) With end of year meetings, lunches, dinners, receptions, awards, recognitions... I've spent the better part of the past 5 days eating! Or... that's what it seems like and that's how my clothes feel! Things will slow down next week, though... which is a good thing.

Then... I'll be off to an 8-day silent, directed retreat (May 17-26) and thus begins my summer adventures! I'm heading back to Texas at the end of the month... Then to a 4-day conference in Chicago... a 2-week Scripture course at Oblate School of Theology... a wedding in Fort Worth... Marianist temporary professed formation gathering in Louisville followed by 3 days of meetings with the Marianist brothers (also in Louisville)... 8 days to visit with family/friends in Texas... 16 days of Marianist LIFE (program and meetings)... and then I'll be back in Dayton to start all over again. Whew! It'll be quite the summer!!!

So... it's the start of a new day... new things... life is full of surprises and blessings. I hope that you are able to count many blessings at the start of your days, too!

Many blessings,

Sr. N

2010-03-28T08:54:00.004-04:00

Hosanna to the Son of David!

Last words of Ven. Adele de Batz de Trenquelleon

Foundress of the Marianist Sisters

Blessed Palm Sunday to you!

As we enter into Holy Week - my favorite part of the Liturgical Year - I am struck by the beauty of the Paschal Mystery. It's completely incomprehensible, and yet integral to who we are and who we are called to be. The call - to die to self and to obstacles in our path - so that we (and others) might have life - and have it abundantly. Paradox of paradoxes!

As you may recall, last weekend I attended the LA Religious Ed Congress. The theme of the event was "Incredible Abundance." The prayer services, liturgies, and sessions called us to recognize the abundance of God's grace - God's mercy - God's love. What a wonderful way, great thought with which to close Lent and enter deeply the mystery of the coming week. It reminds me of a song that we used to sing on retreats in college ... "Your love is extravagant. Your friendship is intimate."

This morning at the 10am Mass, we sang "Unless A Grain of Wheat"... I used that Scripture verse and song as the theme of the prayer service marking my entrance into the Marianist Sisters. I remember some thought it was a grim song to use. On the contrary! It's the call of the Christian life. That's what I say, anyway.

Yesterday I wrote a letter to our provincial requesting renewal of vows. Funny, but this idea of dying in order to bear fruit came to me again as I wrote the letter. I didn't quote it, but I was singing the song in my mind as I typed. Then to hear it again this morning was quite fitting. It's a constant in my life... the Paschal Mystery, that is.

Those are my random reflections for today. I hope that each of you has a blessed week as we celebrate the passion, death, and resurrection of the Lover of our hearts.

Blessings,

Sr. N

2010-03-10T22:01:00.002-05:00

... in everything, we commend ourselves as ministers of God...

2 Corinthians 6: 4

Our Sisters send out an e-mail newsletter each month. It has been a LONG time since I submitted something for the newsletter. This month, though, I actually sent something in! I thought I would share with you...

There is so much to say, that I hardly know where to begin! I apologize for not keeping everyone more up to date with what’s been happening. The days, weeks and months pass so quickly. Life has been busy for me, but good. Here are a few highlights from this semester:

In January I had the great blessing of attending a Giving Voice gathering in Phoenix, Arizona. It was a gathering of women religious under 40. There were approximately 20 of us from all over the US. The theme of the weekend was based on Hosea 2:14 “I will lead her into the desert and speak to her heart.” It was good to reconnect with people I had met at an earlier Giving Voice gathering, as well as meet other young women living religious life. We prayed, shared, and had a lot of fun, too! I played my first game of croquet… I didn’t do so well...
February brought me the good fortune of flying back to San Antonio twice! Both trips were shorter than I would have liked, but both were good. Marianist LIFE is moving right along. I will miss it when I am finished with my term – especially the frequent trips to San Antonio – but I will be happy to have some of that time for other things.
March 2 – 5 I had the privilege of being on a Marianist committee visiting Purcell Marian High School in Cincinnati. The team was charged with ascertaining the integration of the Marianist charism in the school. It was truly a wonderful experience. We met with small groups of students, faculty, parents, alumni, staff, and administration. We asked questions about mission, charism, the “Characteristics of Marianist Education.” I left absolutely impressed with the school. They are doing amazing things – with very little resources.
In two weeks I will set off for the LA Congress (March 18 – 22). I am flying out with one of the SM Aspirants to work the vocations booth for the Marianists. This will be my second year to do this. I’m looking forward to it. It was a good experience last year.

Other than these highlights, everything else is pretty much the same.

I continue to serve as a spiritual “companion” for three students. They call me their spiritual director, but I keep telling them that I have no training! I continue to enjoy that immensely. It is good that I am currently taking a course in spiritual direction at UD. My final project for the class is a paper and presentation on Spiritual Direction in a Marianist Context… or Spiritual Direction Informed by the Marianist Charism. I haven’t yet landed on something specific, but I’ve been reading some great things in my research.

Lastly, you may be happy to know that there is a new FMI website up and running. It’s at the same web location (www.marianistsisters.org). A UD student helped redesign it. There are still a few small kinks to work out, but I think the design will stay.

So, that's my update on life...

I hope that your Lent is abundantly blessed!
Sr. N

2010-02-22T13:22:00.003-05:00

Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things.

There is need of only one thing.

Mary has chosen the better part

and it will not be taken from her.

Luke 10: 41-42

Some lessons are difficult to learn. It seems that there are some things about which we have to be reminded over and over again. A light goes off... we get it... and then maybe a few weeks or months later ... we head right back down the same road that does not lead to life. And the cycle starts over again. At least, this is the case for me.

This Lenten season I find myself coming back to a realization I've had many times over. There is need for only one thing. Like Peter who tries to walk on water, unless you keep your eyes (and heart and mind!) focused on God... you're sunk, so to speak.

Lent has always been a time for me to re-evaluate my relationships - with God, others, and myself and to be open to the grace that can reconcile relationships that are wounded by my short-sidedness. Lent has always been a fruitful time for me. So, as Lent began this year so did my typical self examination.

And what did I find? Well, to put it briefly, I found that I have been living in a constant state of self-evaluation (self focus) these past months without being centered or focused on God. In other words, I had become self-absorbed. I had become so wrapped up in noise and recognition of personal faults that I lost sight of the one necessary thing. Some people call it naval gazing - when a person is so focused on what's "wrong with me", that the person can't see what's Good and right with the world nor the hear call to respond to what's not right with the world. *sigh* This is not the first time. Thank you to my spiritual director for pointing out the obvious!

Hince, the real cause of my blogging absence... truth be told.

Therfore, this Lent I am responding to God's call, "Come back to me, with all your heart..." And that call is the source of Lenten joy for me...

Until next time...
Lenten blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

P.S. ~ Next time I blog, I will fill you in on the exciting things that have been happening in the life of this Marianist sister... a gathering of women religious in Phoenix, celebrations of Marianist founders & Marianist charism, the chapter meeting of our province, an open letter to Oprah written by young women religious... Wow... there's a lot!

2010-01-04T07:01:00.004-05:00

The soul craves experiences that offer it the rich depths of God.

Silence, solitude, holy leisure, simplicity, prayer, journaling,

the Eucharist, rituals that touch the space of Mystery,

symbols and images, the Bible,

laughter, delight in the divine Presence, deep encounters with creation,

and the merciful coming together of human hearts.

All these feed the soul, producing energy for living the transformed life.

Sue Monk Kidd

When the Heart Waits

Happy New Year!

Today begins the new semester at the University of Dayton. Students are back... most not exactly ready to start again into the hectic pace of being a student.

This semester I am also a student once again. Unlike many of them, however, I'm ready.... at least I think I am. I'm only taking one class, but I'm very excited about it. It's "Intro to Spiritual Direction" with one of our Marianist priests as professor. We had an assignment over the Christmas break - 2 books and a paper. I finished both books and am nearly finished with the paper... One of the books is the one quoted above by Sue Monk Kidd (yes, the same person who wrote The Secret Life of Bees.

I highly recommend this book. It's not a text book in the classical sense. It was more of a good book for spiritual reading. I laughed a little and cried a little while reading this one. I also contemplated, prayed with it and journaled about it. Now, that's a book I can feel good about recommending!

Class is on Tuesday evenings starting tomorrow. I couldn't be more excited about it. Nerd? When it comes to this, yes!

It'll be good to see the students again and get back into a routine. I've learned about myself that I don't care too much for unstructured time. Sure, it's good to relax and rest. But sometimes if there's absolutely no structure at all, I can get a little bored. One would think that I would create the structure that is best for me if it's not already there. Nope... not so much. Isn't it interesting that sometimes we know what's best, but we do something completely different? Human nature can be such an enigma!

Anyway, the Christmas break was good. It was short, but good. Filled with MANY Marianist parties and gatherings... way too much good (but terribly bad for you) foods... special prayer services and beautiful Masses. I absolutely love liturgy... especially for big Church feasts. Christmas Eve Mass - not midnight, but 10:30 - was wonderful. There's something about the ritual, symbols, Eucharist and a community gathered that is just so moving. I especially enjoy the privilege of singing in the choir at such celebrations.

This was the first year as a resident of Ohio, however, that I did not go down to Texas during the holidays. There was another year that I was visiting Ohio during the holidays... but at that time I actually lived in Texas. I talked with my family in Texas on Christmas day, but it's not really the same. That was difficult... especially since the days between Christmas and New Years were terribly gray and cold.

So, there's a small update in the craziness that is life. I felt it appropriate to begin with the quote above from Sue Monk Kidd. It's a good thing to keep in mind as the new semester kicks off. Sometimes "unproductive" time is the most productive... if one has an openness. I am hopeful that I can keep that in mind as life gets more hectic...

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2009-12-13T11:05:00.001-05:00

Rejoice in the Lord always! I say it again. Rejoice!

Everyone should see how unselfish you are. The Lord is near.

Dismiss all anxiety from your minds.

Present your needs to God

in every form of prayer and in petitions full of gratitude.

Then God's own peace, which is beyond all understanding,

will stand guard over your hearts and minds, in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:4-7

Evening Prayer II ~ First Sunday of Advent

Happy New Liturgical Year (written on the first Sunday of Advent)!

Happy Gaudete Sunday (written today)!!

Since this is the beginning of the new liturgical year and a time of preparation, joy, hope and expectation, I thought it would be a good idea to return to the blogosphere... It's been a while, you know.

In the daily goings on of life I often think, "Well, there's nothing, really, for me to write on the blog." Other days I think, "Wow. There's so much, I hardly know where to start!" So, in effort to be somewhat brief, let me take you through the past 2 months and a few reflections...

On October 24 a very good friend of mine professed his final vows as a Marianist brother. The celebration happened down in San Antonio. It was a marvelous celebration. Bro. Dennis is from Hawai'i. Therefore, the entire weekend had a certain cultural element to it that added another wonderful dimension. On Friday evening there was a gathering of Marianists and Dennis' family at the community's home. Saturday I had the opportunity to reconnect with people who have played a significant role in my own discernment journey.

Saturday afternoon was the actual Mass of Perpetual Profession. If you've never been to one, I encourage you to go. What a moving Mass. The provincial of the Marianists US Province, Bro. Steven Glodek, gave a reflection after the gospel about the vows. It was really very moving. It brought tears to my eyes. With each vow he spoke of the sacrifices and the gifts entailed and then he ended each reflection with, "and Dennis vows this today for life." Wow. It definitely caused me to stop and reflect on the meaning of the vows for my own life.

That evening all the young Marianists went out to celebrate and catch up. That was good connecting time as well.

On Sunday afternoon I spend some time sharing with Bro. Dennis and Bro. Brandon. We talked for over 5 hours while sharing good food and ice cream. That's our typical thing. We talked about community life, vowed life, the future of religious life, our own struggles to live authentically etc. It was a Spirit-inspired conversation, for sure.

Then it was back to Dayton ...

The following weekend I attended a workshop for people who seek to serve as spiritual accompaniment for Lay Marianist Communities. Let me explain. There are small communities of faith in the Marianist charism all over the world. Here in the US many of them are composed of young adults, but there are others that have been communities since the 1960s. Each community traditionally has someone who acts as a spiritual director or guide. This person can be either lay or vowed, however all the ones with whom I am familiar are vowed Marianists.

I've been a spiritual companion for a Marianist lay community who professed their commitment a little over 6 months ago. They are mostly college students or recent graduates. Living community life while transitioning out of college and into volunteer work or career has not been easy. The workshop that day helped me to understand my role with the community as well as how I might be helpful to them in their transitions and growth as lay Marianists.

Needless to say, that day gave me a lot to pray about. It's been a while since I was a member of a lay Marianist community, so it was good to connect back to that experience and reflect on how my experiences since then might be helpful to this new community. The community, called the Bridges Community, will have their first retreat Dec. 19-21. I will join them for at least part of it. Please pray for them as they grow in their Marianist identity (as a group and as individuals).

Immediately following this, during the first week of November, I had a very cool and humbling opportunity. One of our Marianist priests, Fr. Chris Wittmann, and I were keynote speakers at a vocations dinner at UD. The title of our presentation was "Poor, Celibate, Obedient... and Stable?" It was a chance to engage students in conversation about the vowed life and how Marianists live it each day. We invited some vowed Marianists as well as any student who was interested. We had a total of 60 people in attendance - about 30 students and about 30 Marianists. The students were a good mix of male and female (maybe 16 and 14?). The night went very well. Students seemed genuinely interested in what we had to say and there were good small group conversations.

Needless to say, preparing for and then following through with this night was an excellent time of reflection for me. To have the chance to consider the vows, how I/we live them and what that might mean for someone who is considering religious life was a true gift.

The week following that, it was off to New York for Marianist formation weekend. This is an annual gathering (in different places in the country) for Marianists in formation - both SM and FMI. We gathered in Long Island where the Marianist Province of Meribah has two high schools (Kellenberg and Chaminade). What a weekend! Our presenter for the weekend was Sr. Maria Cimperman, OSU. She is a professor of theology at Oblate School of Theology in San Antonio. Our topic for the weekend was Religious Life in the Future: a conversation with those who create the future (I believe that's right).

Over the weekend those of us in formation had the chance to share openly about the gifts and challenges of the past year, our hopes/dreams/fears about the future and how we see ourselves (individually and communally) growing in the next several years. I can not put into words how valuable an experience that was. It was truly a gift.

Sr. Laura and I stayed an extra day after everything to explore New York. I had never been there, so there was a lot that I wanted to see. We walked around Manhattan for hours! It was great. I got a chance to take in some great sights, have good conversation, and sample some great delis. Time well spent!

Two weeks later, the weekend after Thanksgiving, we had a gathering for some of our younger FMIs and our contact (someone who is seriously considering becoming a Marianist Sister). We spent the weekend at the guest house of a Benedictine Community right on the Ohio River outside of Cincinnati. That was a nice weekend. We prayed and shared together. We went hiking in a state park. We went out for ice cream. We spent a lot of time talking about where we are with God and with our ministries and where we see ourselves going in the future. The weekend was very good. There were 6 of us total. Two of our sisters from San Antonio flew up for the gathering. It was a weekend to treasure.

Lastly, yesterday another community of lay Marianists professed their commitment with a Mass celebrating Gaudete Sunday. It was a beautiful Mass as we welcomed 9 new members to the Marianist family.

That's what I've been up to since October! So much for being brief! That's what happens when I don't write for 6 weeks... I really must keep up...

These weeks have been busy and full. However, what beautiful opportunities to reflect and pray about being a Marianist religious at the dawn of a new decade ~ very powerful, indeed!

I pray that those of you who read this blog are having a joy-filled Advent season as we prepare for the great feast of Christmas. Thank you all for your patience with my absence.

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2009-10-04T08:53:00.004-04:00

Every kingdom divided against itself will be laid waste

and house will fall against house.

Luke 11:17b-18a

Where does the time go, exactly? I can't believe it's nearly been a month since I posted something! It's OCTOBER! Hard to believe. I wish I could be a little more disciplined in this...

The past month has been great - with lots going on at UD and otherwise. We had our first retreat for first year students. Myself and 2 graduate students worked with a team of 11 sophomores to put on the retreat for what ended up being 36 first years. It was a good weekend. The sophomores did a great job! It was also fun to work with them. I enjoy helping young people develop the skills to do ministry. I spent most of the weekend cooking and just having casual conversations with people. The students on the retreat were a lot of fun to be around!

Last weekend I went to a conference in Chicago put on by Catholics on Call. It was great, really. If you've never heard of Catholics on Call click the link to check out their website. After the conference I stopped to visit my sister and her family in Indianapolis. It's a happy coincidence that I have to drive through Indy to get to and from Chicago from here.

Next weekend I'm off to San Antonio! Woo Hoo! It's time to start working on Marianist LIFE South 2010! That's hard to believe. We have our first planning meeting next weekend. This coming summer will be my last summer to serve as a part of the coordinating team for the LIFE program. It's been part of my ministry life since 2001. It's been an important part of my formation as a Marianist and as a minister in the Church. I'm looking forward to this summer's program, but it'll be odd once it's over.

Ministry in our residence hall is up and running and keeping me busy! We have a spiritual program once a week - Wednesdays at 8:30. That's been good. We also have faith sharing on Thursdays at 7pm with Mass following at 9pm. Tuesdays our residence hall staff has our staff meetings at 9pm. In addition to the residence hall ministry, I meet with the discernment group every other Monday at 9:15pm. And one Tuesday a month at 7:30 we have a catechetical program on campus called "Hungry Hearts." I work with the leadership team of students to make those events happen. Needless to say... it's going to be a full year!

In the midst of all the busyness, though, I have carved out for myself some time for reflection. That brings me to the quote above from Luke's Gospel...

I'm not sure if they do this anymore, but NPR used to have this series called "This I Believe." People would write essays about their core belief systems and their values and then have the opportunity to read them on the radio if they were chosen. I would listen to them when I had the chance. Some of them were very interesting... some moving... some shallow... I would think to myself, "Why don't I write one?" Of course, it never happened.

I've been thinking a lot lately about division and the need for reconciliation of opposing groups of people. Why? Because of conversations I over-hear, articles I read in the local newspaper or news sources on line, and what different people say to me about their concerns. Taking all this in, I've been reflecting on and praying about healing. What does that have to do with "This I Believe"? Well... this is what I believe...

That "loving one's neighbor as oneself" is not something we can "opt out of" and has very real and practical implications.
That it's okay and good to disagree with someone's opinion. However, there is a such thing as civil debate and respectful argument.
Being able to listen, truly listen, to someone is a virtue.
Being able to work together in finding solutions to societal problems is imperative to the health of our nation.
All life is sacred - babies in utero, people in prisons, the poor, the rich, people in other countries, our enemies - and all have dignity.
I believe in "one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church" - the operative word for me is "one." There is room in our Church for difference in worship styles and political beliefs. Because someone disagrees with another about politics or style of worship doesn't make one "less Catholic" than the other.
It is awfully difficult to love your enemies if you're plotting to kill them (physically or otherwise).
The virtues of respect for others, kindness, compassion, and humility are key in any and all communities.
We are not God. God is God.
Peace is possible.
Hate begets hate - violence begets violence.

I could go on and on, really. But I'll stop there with the list. I'm reminded now of John Lennon... "You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us and the world will live as one." Pray for peace & reconciliation - in our world, in our country, and in our Church.

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2009-09-08T07:38:00.004-04:00

To the true servant of God,

every place is the right place and every time is the right time.

St. Catherine of Siena

Almost a month to the day since my last post. Needless to say, life's been pretty full since moving back to Dayton last month.

Classes at UD are now back in session - and have been for almost 2 weeks - and activities, events, meetings etc. are in full swing. As most of you know, I am entering my 2nd year at UD as a campus minister. I learned A LOT last year... about balance, about myself, about ministry with college students at a Catholic university... It seems now, I am learning how to put what I've learned to some practical use.

Although I haven't posted in a month and I haven't made a lot of phone calls to friends and family back in Texas in a while, I'm finding that the beginning of this school year is a lot less stressful than last. There are transitions to make and readjusting to the nature of campus ministry, but nothing like last year. It makes a world of difference to be back for a 2nd year.

This is true in ministry, as I'm sure anyone could guess. However, it is equally true of formation and community life. I'm in the midst of my 2nd year of temporary profession... and another year of being a professed member of the Dayton community. And while one might think that it doesn't make that much of a difference, I beg to differ! I'm still new to professed life, no doubt, and there are still ways in which I need to grow and develop as a religious sister, but there's a sense of stability to this year that comes from wisdom gained the year before. It's difficult to put into words. It seems that I'm more familiar with what it means to be and to live from the context of a professed religious. And while I'm not "studying" religious life in the same way I did during novitiate (I wish I had time for all that reading!) my studying now comes in the form of the living of the day-to-day realities (challenges, joys, insights and decisions) of community life and our congregation.

You may be wondering why I quoted St. Catherine of Siena at the beginning of this post. A part from the fact that she's my Confirmation patroness and a role model of mine, this quote in particular struck a chord in me this past weekend. Labor Day weekend our community spent time together at the brothers' retreat house on Indian Lake. It was a BEAUTIFUL weekend - both physically outside, but also in terms of relationships and sharing. It was our weekend of planning meetings, but it was also a retreat for us with significant times of private, quite prayer and times of playfulness together. This quote, which appears in my Living with Christ misselette for Saturday Sept. 5, echoed a shift in attitude I experienced this summer that became more clear to me over the weekend.

As I enter more fully into this new academic year, with all of its stressors and challenges, joys and times of peace, I am more at ease with my place here at UD and in Dayton in general. As someone who seeks to serve God, where I am and my own sense of "good timing" need to take a back seat. For wherever it is that God has called me, that is the right place. And God's timing is more perfect than my own. May we all grow in that understanding!

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2009-08-09T08:56:00.002-04:00

Get up and eat, else the journey will be too long for you!

1 Kings 19:7b

Where to begin?! The last time I posted I had just returned from my annual retreat... By the way, thanks to all those who recommended different combination sunscreen/bug repellents! I'll have to check those out...

Now, I have just returned to Dayton. Well, a few days ago. Marianist LIFE South 2009 ended on Tuesday August 4. We had another fantastic year with wonderful students from Central Catholic High School (San Antonio), St. Matthew Parish (San Antonio), Antonian High School (San Antonio), St. Joseph High School (Victoria, TX), Christopher Columbus High School (Miami), Chaminade-Madonna High School (Hollywood, FL), and Nerinx Hall High School (St. Louis). We had a smaller group this year (61 students), but that's not necessarily a bad thing... especially the day that we had a tremendous rain storm and had to keep everyone in the cafe for a few hours...

On Wednesday Aug 5 the team met all day to do our evaluations of the summer program. Those meetings went very well. We got good feedback from the moderators and students and found many ways in which we can improve for next summer.

Next summer is my last year to work with LIFE as a part of the team. I've been involved with LIFE since 2001. It's hard to believe my time is so quickly coming to a close! We've named my successor as coordinator, however I don't want to post that name here because only the team knows at the moment. I'm excited about the future of LIFE, but I'm sure it'll be difficult to walk away.

On Thursday afternoon I left San Antonio and returned to Dayton. Friday I was back at work and currently I'm enjoying a weekend of not doing much of anything. :) It's nice to have those every once in a while, yes? That brings me to my reflection on the above quote...

The summer before I entered novitiate (2006) I made a week-long retreat with the 2 Marianist brothers who were also entering novitiate in the fall. On the Sunday of our retreat, the first reading was 1 Kings 19:4-8. The quote that stood out to me that entire week of retreat was the quote above, "Get up and eat, else the journey will be too long for you!"

Today, the 19th Sunday in Ordinary Time, the 1st reading is once again 1 Kings 19:4-8. And I think this quote is highly appropriate for where I am these days. ... I'm about to embark on what will be another very busy academic year. Chances are I won't be taking a class this semester (because nothing I need is being offered), but it'll still be packed with UD obligations, travel, retreats, programs, formation gatherings, committee meetings, Marianist celebrations, community "stuff" etc. It will be important for me to stop every once in a while... take a day of reflection once a month or so... just breathe... or else the journey will be too long!

"Get up and eat"... the Psalm for today is Ps. 34 where we proclaim that one should "Taste and see the goodness of the Lord"... and in the Gospel Jesus reminds us that he is the "bread of life." And so... eat - taste - see... indeed, savor... Jesus who gives life. I need not get wrapped up in worry (for who by worrying can add a single day to one's life-span?) or in the busyness of life. Take a breath and pray. Else the journey will be too long!

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2009-07-17T08:21:00.004-04:00

Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is,

than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way.

Pedro Arrupe, SJ

What a phenomenal few weeks it's been! Just to catch you up on where I am these days and what I'm up to...

Currently, I am back in the Beaumont/Orange area of Texas visiting friends and family. I left San Antonio the day after my class was over (Principles of Theological Method). First I stopped over night in College Station. This is where I went to college & also where I worked for 3 years post graduation. I caught up with many friends while there. Of course, not everyone I would have liked, but that's impossible, I think.

When I left College Station, I drove home to Orange. That's where my dad still lives... in house he's lived in since the 1950s. I hadn't been home since Hurricane Ike hit southeast Texas. There was quite a bit of damage, but most of it has been cleaned up and rebuilt. My dad is still working on the house... getting a new ceiling put in since the hurricane tore off part of his roof. Other than that, though, he is doing well as are my friends here in the area.

Then... it was off to my annual retreat. This year I went to the Jesuit Spirituality Center at St. Charles College in Grand Coteau, Louisiana. Perfect. Really, the retreat was exactly what my heart, soul, relationship with self and God needed. I won't go into everything here (I'm still unpacking a lot). However... I do have some insights to share. Please note... some of them are serious and others not so much, but all of them are honest insights that occurred to me while on retreat:

God desires intimacy with us - desires our love in all its forms. Truly meditated upon, that is very strong language...
Silence is good - solitude is better. They are not synonymous.
It would save a lot of time each day if someone would invent/create a dual purpose sunscreen/bug repellent - they could call it sun repellent or bug screen...
Falling in love with the person of Jesus is the beginning of joy and wisdom.
No matter how good it sounds in your mind, never go bike riding on a summer evening in Southern Louisiana after an afternoon rain... although, it does give one a new appreciation for a cold shower...
We were created in love, by Love, for love. Love is the most natural, inherent quality of being human. Sometimes it gets buried under junk, though.
Tchaikovsky and Chopin were geniuses.
If you feel like dancing - and you're able - for crying out loud, DANCE! God delights in our joy!
Each morning on retreat I would take an hour long walk. On these walks I often asked 5 women of the New Testament to walk with me - Mary of Nazareth, Elizabeth, Mary of Magdala, and the sisters Martha and Mary of Bethany. Each day I would chat with them (silently, of course!) about faith, intimacy with Jesus, prayer and taking risks. It is a practice I highly recommend...
Grace comes in unexpected places... pay attention!
If you're awake when the sun is rising, take some time to watch. Few things are as beautiful - and few things awaken the soul quite so well.
St. Cunegunda isn't a made up person... who knew?
Apples stain clothing. Biting into a juicy apple wearing your favorite off-white t-shirt is probably not a good idea.
After not typing for several days, it's difficult to do it well... but my handwriting has never looked better!

My retreat ended on Wednesday July 15. When I left I visited cousins about 10 minutes down the road from Grand Coteau and headed back to Orange. On Saturday (tomorrow) I start my way back to San Antonio - via Houston to visit my niece & her family and some good friends that live there.

Tuesday of next week starts Marianist LIFE South 2009 meetings & program. Then, it's back to Dayton! Where is summer going?? Well, regardless of its speed, it's been a pretty amazing summer.

I'll leave you this morning with the rest of the Pedro Arrupe quote:

Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in a love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2009-07-02T10:52:00.003-04:00

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart

Kahill Gibran

Today, I'm going to depart from my typical topics for reflection and hone in on something seemingly superficial... keeping in mind that things are not always what they seem.

When I entered religious life I knew that some of my assumptions, ways of living, and world-view would be challenged. I knew that my ideas about life would stretch and grow and be reshaped. What I didn't anticipate is a call to reflect on (of all things) my hair!

This will take some explanation...

For as far back as I can remember, the standard of beauty for women in my family was straight hair and fair skin. This is often the case for women of African descent in America. Many young black women are raised to believe that the straighter their hair and lighter their skin, the more beautiful they are. It's ingrained and is an undercurrent in many black communities.

Consequently, many (not all) black women spend 100s of dollars on chemical straighteners (relaxers) ... time avoiding the sun (which will cause them to tan)... and trying not to get their hair wet. I have always been one of these women. Since I was 10 or 12 years old I have gotten my hair relaxed every 4-6 weeks. Lately, it's been every 6 because the cost is exorbitant (relatively).

What I have started to question is... why? What's this craziness all about? AND... what does this mean in the context of the vows I professed (and renewed!)?

Why? I have always told myself that straightened hair is easier and more manageable. However, if I'm really honest with myself, that's not the reason. It's because of vanity... and because of the deep-seated notion that curly/kinky, uncontrolled hair is less desirable than the sleek, straight look.

So, what does this have to do with vows & religious life?

Let's take a look at the vow of poverty. On a practical level, the vow has to do with the proper use of resources - and deeper, it has to do with the proper relationship to resources. Is it desirable that I should use our resources every 6 weeks for this purpose? Could those resources be better used?
In relation to the vow of chastity... does vanity have any place here? True, I shouldn't go around looking like I don't take care of myself. However, at what point does it become self-serving vanity? Why should it be important to me what people think about something so unimportant as my hair?
Obedience to God's movement in my life/our lives... should I really be using our resources for this purpose? What is my obligation to the congregation?

And so... where does this leave me? I've decided to grow out my relaxer and "go natural." Now, this may seem like a no-brainer to some, but it's a lot more difficult than one might think. It requires that I change the way in which I view the world, myself, and what makes something/someone beautiful. It's not just physical, but psychological.

I've worn my curly/kinky/unruly hair around the house and out in public (heaven forbid!) for the past few days. Am I self-conscious? More than I can put into words! Do people look at me funny? It seems that way. And yet... there's a certain amount of freedom in letting go of a false concept of self. God has given me curly hair. It's about time I embrace it instead of denying it!

Many blessings to you all!

Sr. N

2009-06-22T07:23:00.003-04:00

When you discover your belovedness by God in solitude,

you see the belovedness of other people in community

and can call that beauty forth in ministry.

Henri Nouwen

Wow. It's already been 10 days since I last posted... There's so much to say, though, it seems it's been much longer...

As my last blog indicated, there have been 3 "big" events recently: the Giving Voice conference, my birthday, and the renewal of my vows. And in a funny way, they all connect, in that that they all have called me to deeper reflection on relationships, community life, and the gifts of both.

The weekend of June 11-14 I was in Milwaukee at Alverno College (a small school run by the School Sisters of St. Francis) for Giving Voice. Approximately 60 sisters under the age of 50 gathered - to share insights, discuss our deepest hopes for living community, share stories, and celebrate the life we live. Our presenter, Dr. Louisa Saffiotti spoke with us from the perspective of family systems theory... about what healthy community is and the obstacles to said life. We also had 2 facilitators of conversation - Sr. Maria Cimperman, OSU and Sr. Kathleen Feely, SND. It was a fabulous weekend. Many things to ponder and pray about... and the beginnings of friendships.

I had the chance to meet a few sister bloggers while I was there - Sr. Susan from Musings of a Discerning Woman and a woman just entering her community, Juliet from Seeking Sophie. Sr. Katy from Religious Life Rocks: The Adventures of One Fun Nun was there (as part of the planning team), but I didn't get a chance to really chat with her. Anyway, it was good to meet so many younger women who have decided to take the risk...

After the conference was over, I had the chance to meet up with a friend I hadn't seen in almost 10 years! After college I did a year of volunteer work in a little town in the southwestern part of Texas. I lived with 4 other recent college grads: Nicki from Wisconsin, Amy from Minnesota, Lina from the Bronx, and Julie from northern Kentucky. Julie passed away the year after our volunteer year (non-Hodgkin's lymphoma). Amy was able to make it to my vows last year. Lina and I lost touch a few years ago. Nicki and I have kept in sporadic touch over the years (facebook helps), but I hadn't seen her since she and Amy visited me in San Antonio years ago. Anyway, Nicki now lives in Milwaukee. We only had about 2 hours together, but it was so good to chat and catch up - in person. We decided we shouldn't let nearly 10 years go by without face-to-face time!

So, I returned to San Antonio to face the reality that I hadn't done any of the reading I was supposed to do for class (Principles of Theological Method). Was that a mistake? I'm thinking no. I think relationship building while I was in Milwaukee was the priority. Karl Rahner could wait...

Last Tuesday was my birthday. Can I really be 34 already?! Anyway, I was flooded with facebook messages, e-mails and reminders of people's care and concern for me. It was a little overwhelming, but in a good way. Our community celebrated on Thursday evening... that was nice.

On Friday evening I celebrated with 2 very good friends, Bro. Brandon and Bro. Dennis. We had dinner together and then went out for ice cream and conversation. Since both of them are Marianist brothers we always talk about religious life, the mission of the Marianist family, community, relationships and how God is moving in our lives. We talked for HOURS... I find conversations like that to be life-giving in many ways.

Then, yesterday, in the midst of evening prayer, I renewed my vows in the presence of our San Antonio community, Bro. Brandon, my sister, her granddaughter and a family friend. It was a very simple vespers with a few songs and prayed in choirs. But it was meaningful in many ways, as I'm sure you can imagine. After the prayer service, we had a wonderful meal followed by ice cream and fresh strawberries. It doesn't get much better than that!

And so, it's been days of relationship building, community, and reflecting/sharing on life as a religious in the 21st century. These weeks have called to mind what a blessing the people in my life are and how God often acts in my life through the people around me. I have also reflected on areas of growth in my life in community in balance with how much I have grown in the past year.

I will leave you now. I really should get moving on what will be a full day. I've moved on from Rahner and now am reading David Tracy... certainly not any easier to read!

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2009-06-10T07:47:00.006-04:00

Courage, God will work with and for you.

What can we not do with the help of God's grace?...

Walk boldly!

Venerable Mother Adele de Batz de Trenquelleon

Very brief reflection today... I'm writing at the airport... not too long before boarding a flight. I sat down to write yesterday, but really didn't have the focus to say anything. However, I wanted to write before the weekend...

Yesterday the Marianists celebrated the 220th birthday of Mother Adele - foundress of the Marianist Sisters and one of the 3 founders of the Marianist Family. I've written many times about our foundress. One thing I never focused on was the aspect of her spirituality evidenced by the above quote... She was a woman of courage. Not fearlessness, necessarily, but true, virtuous courage. The kind that comes from an unwavering confidence in God. (My flight is starting to board! Soon to go!)

Anyway, I find this an important aspect on which to focus - especially in this week ahead. This weekend I'm attending a conference in Milwaukee - the annual Giving Voice conference (see website below). In Milwaukee many women religious ages 50 & younger will gather to share, pray and discuss community life - now and into the future. Moving forward, through the unknown, in religious life (or any path of life) implies a type of courage that Adele had... rooted in confidence in God's abiding love.

Next Tuesday I will celebrate another birthday... then next weekend I will renew my vows as a Marianist sister. It marks another year, yes, but also are reminders of the faithfulness and trustworthiness of God. Therefore, I can "walk boldly."

Well, I need to shut down now. I will write more after the events of the week...

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2009-05-31T08:03:00.005-04:00

I remind you to stir into flame the gift of God

that you have through the imposition of my hands.

For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice,

but rather of power and love and self-control.

So do not be ashamed of your testimony to our Lord,

nor of me, a prisoner for his sake;

but bear your share of hardship for the gospel

with the strength that comes from God.

2 Timothy 1: 6b-8

Happy Pentecost! What a glorious feast we celebrate this day! Pentecost is a reminder to me of many things: the great blessing we've been given in the Holy Spirit... the fact that the Spirit is active in our lives and in our world... the way God has empowered us to preach, to love, and to serve... and... the fact that in many ways our world is in need of a "push" from the Spirit...

Evidence of the Spirit's actions have been so apparent to me in the past couple of weeks...

Last weekend I witnessed the first profession of vows of two Marianist Brothers. What a beautiful celebration! It was a not only a moving experience and a reminder of my own vowed commitment to the Marianist mission, but it was also a lively celebration of culture. Brandon is Samoan... born in Hawai'i. Ray is Salvadorean. There were elements of both of their cultural heritages brought into the celebration - from Hawai'ian chants, leis, and shirts in "Aloha print" to Spanish music and Ray being blessed by his parents before professing. I had the pleasure of singing with the choir. The music was fun... a little Hawai'ian, a little Spanish... upbeat and happy. Each of the newly professed brothers professed their vows in their language. What a celebration!

The profession of vows is no doubt a movement of the Holy Spirit within the heart of the person professing and within the congregation.

Monday of last week, Labor Day, our sisters celebrated our Foundation Day. May 25, 1816 our foundress, Venerable Adele de Batz de Trenquelleon, set out with a few young women to journey to their new home and to begin their new life together as religious women dedicated to Mary's mission in the world. The foundation of our congregation and its continuation since then is a clear sign of the Spirit's actions. The Marianist sisters are who we are because of the gentle and ever-present guidance of the Spirit.

We celebrated our foundation in Dayton with Mass with our brothers and then a festive meal and afternoon prayer at our house. Then, Monday afternoon... I, too, set out on a journey like Adele...

I arrived in San Antonio late Monday night. Tuesday I spent time settling in, chatting with our sisters and resting. Wednesday morning I began my summer course work at St. Mary's Univ. I've had bits of time here and there to visit with a few people around and to gather with former co-workers from Central Catholic Marianist High School at their post-graduation celebration. But, I've also been reading/studying.

This weekend I am helping out at an archdiocesan discernment retreat called "Life Awareness." It's a collaborative effort between the archdiocesan vocations office and the local vocations directors of the religious communities in the area. The participants are people 18 years old and up who are considering religious life or diocesan priesthood. There are 45 participants on this retreat. The Spirit is in deed active in their lives and moving in them toward a deepening of their relationship with God. That call to a deepening relationship may be a call to religious life/priesthood or it may not. But their presence at the retreat and their prayerful participation is certainly a visible sign of the Spirit's stirring within them. ... The sessions on the retreat and the times of prayer have been really good and thought provoking - even for those of us in religious life!

A surprise blessing from my presence at the retreat has been the opportunity to meet other young religious women and men. It is always such a blessing to meet younger people from other congregations... to share with them, laugh with them, and dream with them.

In addition to these reminders of the Spirit's presence & action, today's feast also calls to mind the missionary aspect of the Spirit's presence. The Spirit was given to each person for the building up of the Church - so that the mission of Jesus might continue in our world. The Spirit animates, guides, strengthens and encourages. We do, however, need to respond. So, Pentecost causes me to ask... How is the Spirit moving within me? To what is the Spirit calling me? To whom is the Spirit moving me to serve & how? Is there anyting within me blocking the action of the Spirit through me? ... And not only do I ask these questions of myself, but I ask them in light of my community, the congregation, and the Church... What is the Spirit asking of us? To what is the Spirit calling us? .... Important questions, no?

May we have the open hearts and minds necessary to truly listen that we might be guided continually by the Spirit that is so generously given.

Blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

2009-05-19T14:31:00.002-04:00

God has not called me to be successful. God has called me to be faithful.

Mother Theresa

As promised, today I will attempt to update you on life in the world of this Marianist Sister. I start with a fairly famous quote from one of my role models. Mother Theresa has been a role model of mine for many years. And although the quote is one with which I was familiar, it comes to me today in much more clarity than in the past.

In my ministry at UD I am on a 9 1/2 month contract... the beginning of August through mid-May. My first academic year was officially complete on Friday May 15. I am off from that ministry for the summer. Next Monday I will leave for 2 months in Texas. I'm returning to San Antonio to take a class at St. Mary's, visit family & friends, renew vows, make my annual retreat and direct the Marianist LIFE program. I will also be attending the Giving Voice annual conference in Milwaukee. While the summer is just as full as summers have always been for me, it'll still be a welcomed change of pace and a time to reflect.

My first year at UD was a good year - all things considered. Truth be told, I'm not sure anyone really "enjoys" transitions. I am certainly no exception. In August, as you may recall, I hit the ground running so to speak... not only was I still adjusting to living the life of a vowed religious and a full/active member of our congregation, but I was also adjusting to a few other things...

- a new ministry in which the hours were completely opposite of my body's natural rhythm. I'm naturally a morning person and have no problem being in bed before 10pm... however, as a residence hall campus minister some gatherings/meetings don't start until 10pm. On many nights, I was just getting home around midnight.
- working for an educational institution of this size. When I was teaching, the largest school for which I taught had approx. 520 students and less than 100 faculty/staff members. Contrast this to UD that has a student population of approx. 10000 with 100s of staff just in student development.
- this was my first year to live in Dayton for an entire academic year. While winter here would be considered mild compared to other places farther north, it's still significantly different from central Texas.
- being back in grad level courses... for credit. During novitiate I audited several grad classes. I benefitted from being in class and reading the material (and writing the occasional paper). This year I took one course each semester... completing all assignments and stressing a little about my ability to do the work.

And so, the first several months here were full of me making adjustments, discerning how realistic my expectations were (of self in ministry and self in community life), and further discerning my gifts, dreams and weaknesses. WHAT A YEAR OF GROWTH! I can not over state that. As I "emerged" from novitiate and the profession of first vows last summer, I felt ready to launch into my new adventures. By December I wasn't sure if I had overestimated my abilities or underestimated the stress of transition.

Reflecting on the year, as I prepare for my summer away and renewal of vows, I contemplate my very understanding of vocation, ministry, call, and success. If the vocation is to love more deeply the God who has called me and to love those who God places in my life... and ministry is a response to that vocation... then, what does it mean to be "successful?" Does it mean being the "perfect" campus minister? And what exactly does the "perfect" campus minister look like? Does it mean being completely self-sufficient - needing no assistance? What about classes?

I think it's fairly obvious that I struggle with perfectionism. If you're familiar with the enneagram, I'm a classic "1" for better or for worse. This is why the quote from Mother Theresa is so clear to me in my reflection. God has never asked for that type of success... or any type for that matter. That only matters in the eyes of people (including yours truly).

And what does God require of us... of me? "Only to do the right and to love goodness and to walk humbly with your God." Hmm... not perfection? No big accomplishments? No quantifiable goals reached and checked off the list??! I sense God saying in response with a loving sigh, "No, Nicole. That's your will, not mine. Love and faithfulness are what I ask. Be at peace, for it is I who wish to work in you. The mission isn't yours."

I am reminded now of the reflection of Archbishop Oscar Romero (another one of my role models). He once said,

It helps, now and then, to step back and take a long view.

The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision.

We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God’s work. Nothing we do is complete, which is a way of saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us.

No statement says all that could be said.

No prayer fully expresses our faith.

No confession brings perfection.

No pastoral visit brings wholeness.

No program accomplishes the Church’s mission.

No set of goals and objectives includes everything.

This is what we are about.

We plant the seeds that one day will grow.

We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise.

We lay foundations that will need further development.

We provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities.

We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.

This enables us to do something, and to do it very well.

It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for the Lord’s grace to enter and do the rest.

We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.

We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs.

We are prophets of a future not our own.

Such wisdom... This is the wisdom I will carry with me during my months away from Dayton. Before that, though...

This weekend is a full weekend for me before returning to Texas. On Saturday afternoon our two novices with the Marianist brothers, Bro. Brandon and Bro. Ray, will profess their first vows! What a joyous occasion! It'll be a weekend full of catching up with members of the Marianist family who are traveling to Dayton for the Mass and celebrating with our brothers. I very much look forward to these celebrations. It gives all of us an opportunity to reflect on this Marianist life to which we've been called.

Sorry for such a long post! It's been so long since I've written from this perspective, I suppose the floodgates opened, so to speak! Perhaps I shouldn't wait so long to post... Speaking of posting, Thursday May 21 my second Giving Voice reflection will be posted on their website. Feel free to check it out.

Many blessings to you!!

Sr. N

2009-05-11T07:01:00.004-04:00

The church throughout all of Judea, Galilee, and Samaria was at peace. It was being built up and walked in the fear of the Lord, and with the consolation of the Holy Spirit it grew in numbers.~ Acts 9:31

Blessings to you on this Monday morning! This morning I am listening to the birds outside my window and watching the morning sky get brighter by the moment... my favorite way to start the day.

A few weeks ago I was asked to share a reflection on the website for Giving Voice. Giving Voice is a national organization for women religious ages 50 and younger. It's somewhat like a think tank, but more. I encourage you to visit their website http://www.giving-voice.org/.

I'd like to share with you the reflection I wrote this morning for Giving Voice...

Each year during the Easter season we reflect on the nascent church as presented in the Acts of the Apostles. We consider missionary efforts, growth, persecution, the power of the Spirit and the ideal community that shares all in common and no one goes without. And although the readings are the same, I find that my reflections are quite different each year.

The quote above comes from Sunday’s first reading. It struck a stronger chord with me this year than in any other year. Consider our world, our Church, our communities. One could hardly say that we are at peace. We live in a violent world. We are a Church divided, mostly along partisan political lines. This was the focus of the homily preached at the university chapel in which our community celebrates Sunday Eucharist.

The post-resurrection Christ says to the disciples and to us continually, “Peace be with you.” How? At times peace seems elusive and idealistic. It depends, however, how one defines peace. The early Church was not without its own in fighting – look at Peter and Paul – or without being misunderstood and persecuted. And yet, we are told they were at peace.

I believe there’s a reason why during this season we have our Gospel readings taken from John. In these readings is found a key to this peace.

“The Advocate, the Holy Spirit… will teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid…. Remain in me, as I remain in you. Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in me…. As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Remain in my love… This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.”

Let us, then, root ourselves deeply in Christ that we might act in love. Though we may disagree and find very little common ground with some, may we not find ourselves discouraged or afraid of moving forward in love. This is the only path to peace.

Besides this reflection, I have much to share with you all about the goings on in my life... its blessings and lessons. However, that will have to wait for another day. Perhaps later this week?

Many blessings to all who read this,

Sr. N

2009-04-18T16:50:00.004-04:00

Alleluia!

This is the day you have made for us, risen Lord,

a day of happiness and joy!

We pray to you, Lord:

make each day that you give us the most beautiful day of our lives,

because it is the day you have chosen for us to encounter you,

O risen Christ!

Thomas Merton

Happy Easter! I marvel at the glory of God! The past few weeks (Holy Week and the Octave of Easter, last week...) have truly been a blessing.

The Triduum, although the shortest liturgical season of the year, is full of overwhelmingly meaningful symbolism and sacramental practices. On Holy Thursday our community celebrated with the novitiate community of our Marianist brothers. We began with a celebratory meal (complete with lamb) and some time of socializing. Then we had a beautiful liturgy with the washing of the feet and exposition. Good Friday many of our sisters went downtown for the annual Walk for Justice - walking in the city praying the Stations of the Cross at various locations that represent certain injustices. I didn't go this year. It was rainy and cold and I had a terrible sore throat that morning. At 3pm most of us went to UD for the Good Friday services. What an absolutely moving liturgy. Holy Saturday we participated in the Vigil at UD... where two people were baptized by full immersion and two additional people were fully received into the Catholic Church... What a joy to witness!

Since that weekend, the beginning of 50 days of unbounded joy, life has been full, but true to the Easter season.

I spent this past weekend in south Florida for planning meetings for the Marianist LIFE South program which will take place in the summer. We worked very hard, but we also had the opportunity to visit with LIFE-connected folks in the area, pray, and relax together. Hollywood Florida was beautiful... palm trees, cool breezes, warm sun... It's easy for my heart to sing, "The Heavens are telling the glory of God!"

This morning... I awoke to a rising sun and singing birds. My winter clothes are put away now and spring has really begun in Dayton, OH - ALLELUIA!

The semester is also drawing to a close. Students are taking finals this week and graduation is this weekend. It's hard to believe that the academic year is pretty much over. It's bittersweet as it always is. I look forward to next year, but I will certainly miss those students who are graduating and moving on. That includes my very skilled and helpful graduate assistant. I don't know what I would have done without him! But, he will move on to a professional job in ministry for which he is extremely qualified. My new G.A. and I will have lunch this month to start planning for next year. "Time marches on. Time marches on."

Well, I'm off to start this beautiful Monday morning!

Many Easter blessings to all who read this,

Sr. N

2009-04-05T14:01:00.006-04:00

I honor the wisdom of pausing.

A short refreshing pause can enhance my growing awareness

that all work has the potential of becoming love made visible - a blessing.

Macrina Wiedeckehr, OSB

Happy Palm Sunday and entrance to Holy Week! I can't believe it's already been more than a month since the last time I posted. I suppose as of late, that's par for the course, so to speak! However, I am hopeful that I will be back to the blogging world more frequently as the academic year closes out...

This weekend our community took a much needed break. We went on retreat... a silent retreat for the most part. We had prayer together Friday evening, 3 times on Saturday and then this morning we closed with Palm Sunday Eucharist at a parish to which we're connected. Saturday night we also had faith sharing and a social after night prayer... time to enjoy each other's company.

What a fabulous weekend it was. Macrina Wiedeckehr, OSB (quoted above) wrote a book entitled Seven Sacred Pauses about the wisdom in pausing to pray the Liturgy of the Hours. Our time together this weekend focused on these pauses in the day. And for me, this weekend was one long sacred pause... steeped in prayer, enriched by Scripture, shared with my Sisters... a great blessing.

In the first reading for today's Eucharist Isaiah states, "Morning after morning [God] opens my ear that I may hear." While I believe and know this to be true, I also know that one has to have a certain disposition in order to facilitate this. Pausing in the day to recognize God's presence, acknowledge God's goodness and graciousness and to seek wisdom is part of what I see as a necessary disposition before God.

This weekend I brought no work with me... no computer... my cell phone was off... I wanted to be completely attentive to the movement of God. How different this weekend was than some previous weekends with meetings, appointments, cleaning, and writing papers! Granted, there's nothing wrong with what fills my weekends, but too many of those in a row and a person could lose his/her grounding...

I read a quote from Henri Nouwen this weekend that says it very well...

I like to think of the spiritual life as the turning of a wagon wheel: when we run along the rim, we can reach only one spoke at a time, but when we start at the hub, we are in touch with all the spokes at once as well as the rim. What does the wheel represent? The hub is communion with God in our heart, connecting with the many spokes of community, on out to the rim of the wheel of ministry. If we are too active in our ministry, it's like we are running around the rim trying to reach everybody at once, all the time. But God says, "Start in the hub; live in the hub. Then you will be connected with all the spokes. And when you get to the rim, you won't have to run so fast."

Simple... yet, this was a profound insight for me - the perpetual workaholic.

I pray that your Holy Week gives you much opportunity to take a sacred pause... to encounter God in a deeper and more profound way.

Many blessings to all who read this,

Sr. N

2009-03-02T13:46:00.005-05:00

My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9

Where has the time gone? Here we are in the second week of Lent... and I've had a unusual start to this, my favorite liturgical season.

Last month I posted about the death of our sister Christine. I'm not sure if I mentioned this in the post - she lived here in Dayton, but did not live with us in community because she needed support for numerous health issues. So, in the wake of her death, our community finds itself not only dealing with the emotions of losing someone so suddenly, but also with the practical details of cleaning out an apartment, sorting clothing to donate, making arrangements for the donation of Sr. Christine's many musical instruments, donating & moving furniture and shutting off phone, electric, cable etc. Needless to say, our lives have been extremely full with grieving, celebrating life, and making necessary arrangements.

I'd like to say that I've been able to be helpful in this process. However, timing has largely left me out of all the practical details. On Ash Wednesday I left Dayton to attend the Los Angeles Religious Education Congress. It was a phenomenal trip. I was there largely as a part of our vocation ministry. On Thursday I attended the Congress Youth Day with a group from Chaminade College Prep, a Marianist school outside of LA. Then Friday through Sunday I helped staff a vocations booth at the congress exhibition hall. I was blessed to be able to connect with friends, attend a workshop and celebrate in several amazing prayer services & Eucharistic liturgies. Then, after the Congress I spent the following Monday visiting with seniors at Chaminade about vocations. That was a great day...

The following days, however, were filled with sickness. I returned from LA with a flu-like virus that I'm still not completely over. I slept for the better part of 3 days and when awake suffered from a headache that was one of the most painful ones I've had...

It was during this time - while I was in LA and while I was recovering - that the community was doing the majority of the cleaning and clearing out of Sr. Christine's apartment.

This is how Lent began for us. ...

I am reflecting this Lent on God's grace in the midst of difficulty and what might look to us like weakness. Sr. Edith Prendergast, RSC wrote, "God speaks to us not only in the beauty but also in the difficulties, weaknesses and struggles that we encounter. Grace often appears when we are in pain... At times like these, grace beckons us to put our trust in God."

This has no doubt been a difficult several weeks. It is in times like this that God's grace can truly be made manifest. For it is not by our strength, but by God's that we walk this journey. And it is for this grace that I am truly grateful.

How does this relate to my Lenten journey? I am fasting from self-reliance so that I may feast on an ever-growing dependance on God.

May all who read this be abundantly blessed in this Lenten journey,

Sr. N

2009-02-16T14:26:00.003-05:00

Now let your servant go in peace...

Friday morning February 13 Marianist sister Christine Marie Stevens passed away in her sleep... peacefully, but quite unexpectantly. She was a sister who lived here in Dayton, but did not live with us in community due to health issues. She lived in a sort of assisted living apartment, but always came home for Mass and supper once a week with the community.

This is our second loss in a month's time. It's never easy to say good-bye to a sister. It's even more difficult when there are more than one in such a short time. Because we, the Marianist sisters, have not been in the US for a long period of time (our province is 60 years old), this is the first sister to pass away in Dayton.

As we are busy about making preparations and phone calls... and going through Sr. Chris's personal effects, we also recall the gift she was to the Marianist family. A wonderfully creative person, she was a stellar artist and musician. She taught for a number of years - both art and band - and served as spiritual companion to many.

Here are some words from her obituary:

Sr. Christine entered the Marianist Sisters on July 16, 1959, professed first vows August 22, 1962, and perpetual vows on August 22, 1965, all in San Antonio, TX. She received a BA in Music in 1956 from The Ohio State University and an MA in Sacred Doctrine from St. Mary’s University, San Antonio in 1969. Sr. Christine taught in Catholic schools in San Antonio and Dayton for 26 years. She began her teaching career at St. James School, San Antonio in 1963 before moving to Dayton where she taught at Alter High School. In the summers, Sr. Christine worked with the Edgemont Community Garden and programs for inner city youth. Sr. Christine moved into pastoral ministry, beginning as a Campus Minister at the University of Dayton, serving on the retreat team at the Marianist Apostolic Center in Glencoe MO and returning to Campus Ministry at Christian Brothers’ College in Memphis Tennessee. For 9 years she was a parish minister at Guardian Angels Parish in Cincinnati, OH. In 1990 Chris returned to Dayton, this time specializing in Band development in the Catholic schools. In 1997, Sr. Christine started teaching art at Ascension Catholic School, the position from which she retired in 2006. In her retirement, Sr. Christine took joy in volunteering at We Care Arts, playing clarinet in the New Horizons Jazz Band at the University of Dayton, and sharing life with the residents of Twin Towers and Huffman Place

May our Sister Christine rest in God.
Blessings,
Sr. N

2009-01-19T09:01:00.005-05:00

My concern has always been for the people who are victimized, unable to speak for themselves and who need outside help.

Joan Baez

The picture here was taken at the closing dinner of the Marianist Sisters' Province Assembly in the 2007. It is one of my favorites... the oldest American Marianist Sister, Sr. Laola Hironaka, with me, the youngest American Marianist Sister.

On Friday evening, Jan. 17, Sr. Laola passed away peacefully after suffering a short, but aggressive illness. She was 83 years old.

What can I say about this amazing woman? For one, she loved life. She had a certain joie de vivre. She loved to dance (who else can hula in their 80s??)... she loved to laugh... she liked long conversations with friends and sharing stories. She enjoyed meeting people who were different from herself and really taking an interest in their lives. In other words, she never met a stranger. Everywhere she went she would engage people she had never met in conversations about their lives, their hopes, struggles, joys and families. She loved people....

This love for people was clearly seen in her tireless work for peace and justice. While doing graduate studies at UC Berkeley, she got involved with Amnesty International in its first years. She wrote letters and started petitions on behalf of prisoners of war and those imprisoned unjustly. She became what's called a country specialist - studying the justice issues of a particular country to raise awareness and to help people get involved in ending the injustice. This continued from her time at Berkeley until pretty recently. She also was involved in the fight to end human trafficking (www.humantrafficking.org).

Although Sr. Laola was one of the most intelligent people I knew (she was brilliant, really) her "fight" against injustice was not a solely intellectual pursuit for her. For instance, in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina when hundreds of evacuees where sheltered in San Antonio, she visited them daily... listening to stories, bringing a pair of shoes to one woman who asked, playing with children, praying with people... just being present to them. She always said that she wished she could do more...

She lived with a joy that was rooted in her deep faith in God. That is where she found the energy (and believe me, she had energy) and the desire to do what she did. I would be tempted to say that she was saintly. However, I can hear her now saying, "Saintly?! Why would I want that boring life?!" Did I mention her sense of humor?

She had a love for beauty in all its manifestations... from wildflowers she'd pick on her walks, to the ocean beaches in her beloved home of Hawai'i... from cool breezes to the sunsets she and I would watch from the driveway of our home in San Antonio... She had the kind of vision that could truly enjoy what was good in gratitude and humility.

I started this blog with a quote from one of her favorite artist... and someone with whom she had a relationship because of her time at Berkeley. Another fascinating thing about our dear Laola was the fact that she had connections in the music industry that I could never quite figure out. Why would Bono call our house to chat with her? Or how could she talk about Joan Baez as if she was one of our neighbors? By the way, a few days after the Bono phone call she says to me, "Oh, do you know him?" ... She was completely unfazed by celebrity. For her people were just people... all deserving respect... whether they be famous or homeless. It didn't matter to her. That was the beauty of her spirit.

I could go on and on. I learned a lot from her and enjoyed living with her immensely. I'll end with one of her favorite passages from Scripture...

Deep is calling on deep, in the roar of waters: your torrents and all your waves swept over me. ~ Psalm 42 (Monday Week II of the Psalter, morning prayer)

Many blessings to all who read this... Sr. Laola, pray for us

Sr. N

To read her obituary follow this link: http://www.legacy.com/sanantonio/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&Personld=123011598

2009-01-11T20:40:00.002-05:00

You must blame my busy schedule

and not my heart for my delay in extending to you my New Year's wishes....

May you make great spiritual strides during this year...

Venerable Mother Adele de Batz de Trenquelleon

Foundress of the Marianist Sisters

Letter 634, January 12, 1826

I tell you, I just can't get over the speed with which the days go by! It seems that I just wrote yesterday and yet weeks have gone by. I hope you can forgive my neglect!

I begin tonight's post with a quote from our foundress. It is appropriate as her feast day was yesterday. The words of the quote are also quite appropriate given the situation. Anyway, we did not celebrate her feast day yesterday, per se, though. Yesterday we celebrated the life of a committed Lay Marianist who passed away late last month. Tomorrow, we will celebrate the life of Mother Adele.

Yesterday evening members of various Marianist communities, both lay and vowed, gathered for Mass at Queen of Apostles Parish to remember the life of Joe Cavanaugh, a graduate of the University of Dayton, Lay Marianist, committed husband, and a tireless advocate of peace and justice. There were stories told, laughter, tears and a shared meal following the Mass. We supported his widow and each other in our shared loss.

Tomorrow evening, the Marianist family and students will gather for a vespers service at UD followed by a reception to celebrate the example given in Mother Adele. After that, our community will share supper with one of the communities of Marianist brothers and priests.

As Marianists we celebrate well. We gather in good times and in sad times... to welcome new people to our Marianist family, to recall our founders and their vision... to bid someone farewell... We celebrate by sharing Eucharist and stories, laughter and tears, prayers of thanksgiving and of petition and always support, companionship, love for one another and faith in the God that has called us to be Marianists.

This, I believe, is part of our gift to the Church and the world as Marianists. Not, of course, our only gift... and maybe not our most important one, but a gift nonetheless. And that I sometimes take for granted and forget how thankful I am for this our Marianist family.

Yes, we celebrate well. But, we don't celebrate just for ourselves or just to have an excuse for fun...

We celebrate as a witness and a reminder that God is faithful. We come together and invite others to join us as a reminder that all people are invited and no one is to be left out. And we come together to renew a sense of common mission and family - we do not do this alone. We support, challenge and encourage one another in word and mostly by example.

In a world that seems so wrong and all messed up, we gather in a spirit of hope and faith - God... life... love are the victors.

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2008-12-25T08:35:00.003-05:00

Today, today a Savior has been born!

A Savior has been born to us.

He is Christ the Lord, Christ the Lord, Jesus Christ the Lord!

Christmas blessings to you! This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it! Today we celebrate a miracle and an unfathomable reality... God incarnate... God becoming human... God being born "according to the flesh" into our messy and mundane world. What an amazing reality!

Jesus is called by many names... Wonder-Counselor, Mighty God, Prince of Peace... Light of the World. There are two names on which my prayer is focused this morning - Prince of Peace and Light of the World.

Last night some members of the Marianist Family gathered at the Immaculate Conception Chapel at UD at 5pm for the First Vespers of Christmas. The homily given by one of our Marianist priests focused on peace.... Our homily at Mass last night, given by another Marianist priest, focused on the awesome reality (and challenge) of God taking on flesh and what that means for us now...

As Marianists we believe that we are called to continually bring to birth Jesus and to nurture the life of Jesus in this world like Mary did - as individuals, but mostly as community. Yes, Jesus was born once over 2000 years ago... but that event should play out, so to speak, each day in every interaction...

Our world, our nation, our families and our lives need the Prince of Peace and Light of the World in more ways than I can adequately put into words. With so many people having lost their livelihoods... people sleeping in the streets... people mourning the loss of a loved one to violence... war and armed conflicts... endemic disease... unjust regimes and institutions...

It is into this world that Jesus came... and continues to come. In celebrating this day, we don't just celebrate something from 2000 years ago... exchanging presents and feasting on great food... Today we also recall that WE are to be Christ-bearers... We are to carry and make present the Peace and the Light. If not us, who celebrate this day, then who? And if not now, then when?

Yes, this is the day the Lord has made... may the joy of this day enliven us to bring forth into our world Jesus Christ, Prince of Peace and Light of the World.

Many blessings to all who read this,
Sr. N

2008-12-07T09:22:00.004-05:00

For you, O Lord, my soul in stillness waits

Truly, my hope is in you!

So... it's been nearly a month since I last posted. Where has the time gone?! I ask that question a lot, don't I? I guess it never ceases to amaze me how quickly time passes and how there never seems to be enough hours in the day or days in the week...

Today, though, as we enter the final stretch of Advent and start our reflection on the "O, Antiphons" I knew I wanted to write before Advent ends. I really like Advent. In praying for the light of Christ to pierce the darkness of our world... in union with Mary who boldly said "yes" and then pondered God's actions... there is a lot to which I can relate... challenges for my growth in faith and in bringing the light of Christ to dark places... (both within and "out there")

As you may recall, in 2006 and 2007 I had the great joy of going on silent retreats for a week during Advent at the Trappist Monastery of Gethsemani. What a grace & blessing! This year Advent has not quiet been so quiet and reflective. With traveling, meetings, finishing up my semester course (research paper & oral final exam), holiday gift exchanges/parties, spending time with our 2 visiting Marianist Sisters from India who were here learning English for the semester (wonderful women!)...

The challenge this year has been to draw upon the grace that comes from the small moments of quiet and the opportunities for personal meditation and actually making that time a priority in the over-scheduling I tend to do. I've learned that the grace of Advent doesn't just come from a week of silent retreat... it also comes in the enlightening conversation with a friend or the 15 minutes of praying with Scripture before heading to community morning prayer ... in reflecting on the day before I fall asleep... All can be (and are) moments of Advent grace. The stillness required to recognize and respond to the grace does not necessarily mean external stillness or silence. It is more so an interior posture that is not dependant upon an exterior silence. And so, in the midst of the craziness that is the end of the semester in a university community, I say, "my soul in stillness waits."

Many Advent blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

2008-11-17T21:55:00.004-05:00

There is no way of telling people

that they are all walking around

shining like the sun.

Thomas Merton

This past weekend I had the joy of attending my 4th Marianist Formation Weekend. This year Sr. Laura and I gathered with all the guys in formation with the Marianist brothers & priests (aspirants, novices, and temporary professed) and some of their formation personnel for a weekend of sharing in northern California.

We had a presenter/facilitator, a Marianist brother who works in an Archdiocesan office for small Christian communities. However, that's not what was so good about this past weekend. It was the encouragement (and challenge) that comes from being with faithful (and faith-filled) people.

Thomas Merton, a now deceased Trappist monk and an incredible spiritual writer, once wrote:

My vocation does not really make me different from the rest of [the human race] or put me in a special category except artificially, juridically. I am still a member of the human race, and what more glorious destiny is there... since the Word was made flesh and became, too, a member of the Human Race! Thank God! Thank God! I am only another member of this human race, like all the rest of them. I have the immense joy of being [human], a member of a race in which God became incarnate. As if the sorrows and stupidities of the human condition could overwhelm me, now that I realize what we all are. And if only everyone could realize this! But it cannot be explained. There is no way of telling people that they are all walking around shining like the sun.

Have you ever been around people who just radiate the presence of God? People around whom you can not help but sense peace and joy? People who walk around "shining like the sun?"

It may seem like an exaggeration (for I'm prone to that sort of thing), but that's exactly what my weekend was like. It's slightly difficult to explain.... But, I can say this. God has blessed me with friends and people in my life who are a true gift. They incarnate the presence of God for me. And it's not just about affirmation. They challenge me... challenge me to be more faithful... to love more deeply... to live with gratitude.

Joyce Rupp, a Sister with the Servants of Mary and spiritual writer, explains it well...

I think of these faithful people often, particularly during November when I pray with gratitude for all those who have blessed me. When I gather the goodness of my life, I am especially thankful for those who have helped me to grow. Being with faithful people challenges me in my own commitment. I look to the abundance of others' love and yearn to be more generous in my own response...
It is a gift to know people who are faithful, people whose inner strength urges them to share their love generously even when they pay a price to do so. Their lives tell us that faithfulness is possible, although it is rarely easy. Faithful people reflect God's faithfulness.

And so, in this season of giving thanks, I am grateful for the faithful people in my life. And for the ways in which they encourage and challenge me in my own commitment.

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2008-11-06T19:32:00.004-05:00

The situation of Religious in relation to culture

is one of resistant immersion that is extremely ambiguous. And at the same time it is one in which

the Religious refuses to simply "go with the flow."

Sandra Schneiders, IHM - Finding the Treasure

Those of you who keep up with my blog, at least somewhat, are well aware that I've been absent from the blogging world for about a month. You may even wonder, "Is she really that busy?" Well, yes and no.

No doubt, my time has been well occupied for the past month. Back in September I told a good friend how excited I was that I was going to be in town every weekend in October... perhaps I would be able to enjoy a little downtime. As I look back at October I can't help but wonder what happened to that idea. :)

I'll give you a brief update on the goings on around here...

First of all, the class I'm taking - Sacramental Theology - is going well. It's a heck of a lot of work, though! It's been 2 1/2 years since I've taken a graduate class for credit. During novitiate I audited several classes, but I didn't have to do any of the work. Now, that's not the case. We read a fair amount and have a short paper due each week. That might not seem like a lot, but when I'm reading Thomas Aquinas or Karl Rahner it takes me hours to read and absorb it enough to write something intelligent. But, I'm doing well and learning A LOT. So, it's worth it.

Secondly, I've been working with our discernment group here at UD as well as our Marianist vocations committee. That's been fun. Because of my connections there (and a few other "random" connections) people have started asking me to be a sort of spiritual director for them. Of course, I have to let them know that I'm not an actual "director" but I can be a spiritual "companion". Some people have taken me up on that... And I think the Spirit is definitely moving there.

Other than that... I've been doing other assorted campus ministry and Marianist "stuff."

But, you know... to be perfectly honest, there was something else taking up a lot of my time last month. For the first time in my life I became super interested in politics... reading several newspapers a day, discussing various issues with people, learning what I could about candidates and local issues. Truth be told, that's the real reason I haven't written here. I never wanted to "use" by blog for advancing anything political. And because much of my free time was wrapped up in the elections, I decided the best thing to do would be to take a break from blogging.

And that, my friends, is why I used the Sandra Schneider's quote above.

I've been reflecting a lot on the role of religious men and women in society... and the witness of the vowed life. Several weeks ago, when the economy started to weaken dramatically, I had a conversation with one of the sisters in our community about what the vow of poverty has to "say" about the culture of greed, unbridled capitalism, and selfishness.

As religious, I believe, we stand as a sign that there is an alternative... There is a different way to exist. A person can live with joy and peace without accumulating more and more stuff... without climbing the corporate ladder at all costs. There is a different way to treat people than the way pop culture objectifies a person or the way people treat the poor and marginalized. In other words, religious, in a way, are prophetic.

I'd like to share with you more of the above quote:

Having renounced the gain that full cultural participation offers, Religious have less to lose from radical change and thus greater freedom in prophetic announcement that everything is not alright, that the time of God's visitation is near, that the promises of the past are still to be fufilled, and that God's preferential option for the poor will not finally be frustrated....
The situation of Religious in relation to culture is one of resistant immersion that is extremely ambiguous. and at the same time it is one in which the Religious refuses to simply "go with the flow." She is constantly asking, "Is this really right? Does this reflect the Gospel? Can I support this or must I protest?"

And so, I'll leave you with a thought to ponder... While religious take vows that place us in this unique position, I am inclined to believe that all baptized persons have a similar role to play in calling our culture to something "other than" and that there is an alternative to pop culture values.

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

2008-10-10T08:14:00.003-04:00

As the Angles sing an old Hank Williams song.

Time marches on, time marches on.

Time marches on. Time marches on.

Tracy Lawrence

It's already October! The leaves are changing colors here... the days are shorter... the sun shines bright during the days... evenings and mornings are cool and brisk. It's definitely autumn here.

When I was growing up one of my favorite movies was "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." One of my favorite quotes from that movie is when Ferris is doing one of his monologues towards the beginning of the movie and says, "I said it before and I'll say it again. Life moves at you pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once and a while, you could miss it."

I think I've quoted Ferris before on this blog. Every once in a while the quote is just so appropriate... Like today... or this week, actually. My facebook status says, "Sr. Nicole is wondering what happened to September."

Last month was a very full month. It was wonderful, don't get me wrong, but it was certainly full. I had the great joy of going on 3 retreats last month - First, a retreat for the first year students at UD. It was great to get to know so many students who are new to UD and trying to find their place.

Then, I went on my own "retreat"... back to Villa Maria Pennsylvania for an intercommunity formation weekend. It was good to see some familiar faces and meet new people who are all just entering religious life. I think, though, I've already blogged about that weekend...

Lastly, I went on retreat with a student group at UD called "Catholic Life." It was a weekend that allowed students to really delve deeply into their relationship with Jesus and reflect on how that effects the way they live and what they do, think, say. It was also good for me. I had some wonderful conversations with students and good personal prayer time. I also had the chance to stay in a Benedictine Monastery for the weekend. The community there was so kind!

Then... it was October!

Last weekend I had the opportunity to witness one of our Marianist brothers profess perpetual vows. Bro. Brian Halderman, SM professed the vows of poverty, chastity, obedience and stability for his whole life. It was a beautiful celebration - the Mass was moving with such symbolism and meaning. The dinner after was a true celebration with friends and family of Bro. Brian and MANY Marianist brothers, priests, sisters and lay members. What a joy to celebrate! And an added bonus was that I had a chance to reconnect with young adult Marianists I haven't seen in a few months.

So, these past several weeks have been full of blessings, relationship building, prayer, planning and busyness. I have found, though, that if I don't stop every once in a while and say "Thank you," then the time goes without much reflection on my part.

Therefore, I say thanks!

Many blessings on all who read this!

Sr. N

2008-09-25T14:28:00.004-04:00

Earth's crammed with heaven, And every common bush afire with God;

But only he who sees, takes off his shoes --

The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Wow. Two posts in one week... I'm back, in deed!

For the past several days this quote has been ringing in every fiber of my being. Perhaps it's the absolutely beautiful weather we've had... or maybe it's the glimpses of the divine I've seen in the people I've encountered... I just think I'm finally paying attention.

Currently, I'm reading a book entitled Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith. In this book are thoughts, lecture notes, and ideas of Henri Nouwen sytematically laid out after his death by Michael Christensen and Rebecca Laird. This book is ... great. That's an understatement, but I feel that anything I could say is an understatement. It's meant both for people who are seeking spiritual direction, but also for those who minister as spiritual directors.

Anyway, I read something today that I just had to share with you all. Why? It moved me and I thought that perhaps other people could benefit as well:

Before the word was incarnated in her womb, Mary bore witness to the
word of God. Because of her obedient listening, the word could become flesh
in her. Listening is a very vulnerable stance. Mary was so vulnerable,
so open, and so receptive that she could listen with her whole being.
Nothing in her resisted the word that was announced to her by the angel. She was
"all ears" and heart. Thus, the promise could be fulfilled in her far beyond her
own understanding and control. "I am the Lord's servant," Mary said. "May it be
to me as you have said" (Luke 1:38).

Listening is the core attitude of the person who is open to God's living
and creative word. Prayer is listening to God, being open and receptive to God's
influence. True listening has become increasingly difficult in churches and
institutions, where people remain on their guard, afraid to expose their weaker
side, eager to be recognized as successful and bright. in our contemporary
competitive society, listening often is a way of "checking the other person out." It is a defensive stance in which we do not really allow anything to happen to us. It is a suspicious way of receiving that makes us wonder what serves our purposes and what does not. The psalmist warns against this hardening of heart:
Today, listen to the voice of the Lord; Do not grow stubborn, as your
fathers and mothers did in the wilderness, when at Meriba and Massah they challenged me and provoked me, although they had seen all my works. (Psalm 95: 7-9)
The word of God here is to listen to the voice of love and not to harden your hearts.
This kind of listening asks us to model our lives on Jesus and to commit to follow the way of life Jesus set forth. This listening assumes a personal prayer life and a belief in Jesus's activity in the world today as the Living Word of God.
Listening to the incarnate word of life is the heart of Christian faith. In Mary, we see the purest form of this listening. That is why she is called "blessed' by her cousin Elizabeth. it is through her obedience to the word that became flesh in her that she becomes not only the mother of God but also the mother of all the faithful. We who wish to be faithful are called to this same kind of obedience. When we listen faithfully to the word, the word becomes flesh in us and dwells among us.
...
Perhaps you think about the word of God as a divine exhortation to go out and change your life. But the full power of the word lies not in how you apply it to your life after you have heard it but in how its transforming power does its divine work in you as you listen.

Wow. That can certainly give you a lot to reflect upon... In fact, I've been praying with this most of the day - in the midst of the busyness. And perhaps that's why the quote from Elizabeth Barrett Browning is moving within...

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2008-09-23T13:00:00.007-04:00

Solitude is not something you must hope for in the future.

Rather, it is a deepening of the present,

and unless you look for it in the present you will never find it.

Thomas Merton

Well... I'm back! I suppose that could be taken in several different ways, couldn't it? That is intentional on my part...

It seems like it's been a really long time since I've posted here. However, it's only been about 2 weeks. I guess you could say that I've lived 2-3 months in 2 weeks!!! Have these weeks been full? Yes. My weeks are almost always full - meetings, phone calls, to do lists, community schedule/responsibilities ... But, I've also learned a lot in this short amount of time

The most important lesson(s)? Embracing the present - recognizing God where I least expect to find the sacred - living in ambiguity and change... these can all be difficult, but they are also GOOD... and a place in which I can encounter God.

It's not a secret that I don't like change. People who know me also know that I like feeling a sense of control over what's going on around/within me. What I'm learning, though, is that ambiguity is a fabulous teacher... and so is trusting in God's presence when there isn't the accompaning "warm fuzzy" type feeling.

For the lessons of these past few weeks I say "Thank You, God!"

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

2008-09-10T19:06:00.002-04:00

The Trinity is community... we are created in the image of this community.

We exist to be in relationship - with God and with others.

Me :)

So, here I am. Over one month after my last post. No excuses... unless, of course you read my last post. *smile*

Tonight I am brought to a reflection on relationships. But before I launch into that, let me tell you a little about what I'm up to these days...

First, the ministry for which I'm paid. What some people would call a "job", but I hesitate to say that. But, I digress. I am a campus minister in a residence hall at the Univ. of Dayton. It's the largest residence hall on campus - 1,100 residents to be exact, most of them first year students. I think I explained how that works in my last post. Anyway, needless to say, it keeps me fairly busy. My days are filled with building relationships, participating in planning meetings, running programs and praying with students. It's a great! It seems to be a good fit for my personality....

Second, I serve on a vocations committee for the Marianists. The committee has Marianist brothers, priests, sisters and members of the Lay Marianist community. We meet once a month to discuss efforts on campus to "get the word out" about Marianist life and provide opportunities for people to discern with us.

Then, there are opportunities for my personal formation/discernment. Yes, discernment. I professed first vows in June, this is true. However, until I profess final vows, I am still in initial formation and this continues to be a time of formation and discernment. So, there are formation retreats, meetings etc. This continues to be good for me also.

In fact, last weekend I had the opportunity to attend an intercommunity formation weekend in Pennsylvania. This was a gathering of religious in formation with various congregations in the area - both male and female. There were Franciscans, Sisters of Notre Dame, Sisters of Charity, the Congregation of Saint Joseph... and MANY others. It was a WONDERFUL weekend. Our speaker for the weekend was Sr. Mary McCormick, OSU. She's a professor at a seminary in Cleveland. Our topic for the weekend? God.

Yep. You can't get more all-encompassing than that.

It would be difficult to put all of what we did into a paragraph or two, but let's just say that we had time to reflect on what it means to be a people who believes in a Trinitarian God... how does that belief affect the way we live, pray, "do theology,"... everything, really.

And this is what brings me to relationship.

Our lives... my life... is about right relationship - with God, with myself, with others. My ministry... it's about relationships. The vocation efforts? It's about relationships. My formation & discernment? You guessed it. It's about relationship.

With relationships being so key, I'm challenging myself to pay attention to them... nurture them and allow them to nurture me.

Now... if I could just figure out how to make a day about 12-hours longer...

Many blessings to all who read this!!!

~Sr. N

2008-08-15T08:19:00.004-04:00

Go placidly amid the noise and haste

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann

The Desiderata was the first poem I memorized my freshmen year at Monsignor Kelly High School. A copy was given to each person in my 8th grade class by our Language Arts teacher, Ms. Perry, as a graduation gift. There have been MANY times in life that I have reflected on this poem. However, never as much as in the past 2 weeks or so...

So, here I am in Dayton transitioning into a new job and a new way of being as a professed sister. Because of the craziness of my summer, I jumped into the new job having to "hit the ground running." No time for slow starts.

However, in the midst of all the meetings, orientation sessions, and unpacking/setting up an office, our campus ministry staff went on retreat for a day and a half. The theme of the retreat? Sabbath - the importance of Sabbath in our lives and how to take "Sabbath time" in the midst of busyness. (Sabbath as defined as special time with God... relaxing from the frantic pace of work... taking time away... etc.)

Can we say "perfect"?!

That day and a half of reflection was just what I needed. It tapped back into my first year of novitiate... It was during that time that my mantra was "Drink deeply from the well-spring of prayer, else the journey will be too long."

The retreat also connected me back to the 8-day silent retreat I was blessed enough to have this summer before the busyness of the past 2 months set in (vows... home visit... Marianist LIFE... moving to Dayton... starting a new job...).... The theme of the 8-day retreat was also Sabbath.

Coincidence? I think not. I think it was providential, really.

While I was at our campus ministry retreat I made a list of "Sabbath activities"... things that I do that help me maintain balance and that are pretty close to non-negotiable. They are:

My morning routine: coffee, breakfast with the morning paper (or the archdiocesan paper), 20-30 minutes of quiet prayer... all before the rest of the house is awake
Reading (spiritual and otherwise)
Exercise
Time spent on "key" relationships
Yearly retreat
Time to sing... (alone, typically)

These are just a few things that help me tap into the "still, small voice of God."

Let's pray that I can keep these in mind as the semester gets underway. I'm really looking forward to a great first semester at UD. And as long as I can "drink deeply from the well-spring of prayer" then I should have an open heart for the Spirit to work in & through me.

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2008-08-02T21:25:00.003-04:00

I give thanks to my God at every remembrance of you,

praying always with joy in my every prayer for all of you,

because of your partnership for the gospel from the first day until now.

I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you

will continue to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.

Philippians 1:3-6

So, I've come to realize, July is just not a good month for posting! Sorry I've been so out of touch! Rest assured that all is well... in fact, all is going very well... There is so much to say, I barely know where to start... and there is so much for which I am grateful...

First, let me say thank you to everyone who kept the Marianist LIFE South 2008 program in your prayers. It was an amazing experience. We had 82 high school students from San Antonio, Houston, Victoria, St. Louis, Miami and Los Angeles... along with about 25 adults gathered. I met some of the most faith-filled high school students I've met in a long time. There were many laughs, some tears, beautiful prayer experiences, and deep sharing. Being with these students was humbling and inspiring, really.

I also have to say that the adults (and young adults) were phenomenal... and I don't use that word lightly. They're such good people... kind, patient, prayerful, funny "as all get out," and great to be around.

This was my first summer to serve as the regional coordinator for the M-LIFE South program. And it was an experience I will not soon forget. I learned a lot, had great times of prayer, and was inspired with hope.

I could say more, but I'm really very tired...

I just arrived back in Dayton this evening. We finished M-LIFE South (the program and the evaluations) on Wednesday evening. I spent Thursday and Friday relaxing, doing laundry, and packing. Now that I'm here... I'm moving into a new bedroom (so I'm still surrounded by boxes!) and I will soon be moving into a brand new office at UD.

On Monday I will begin my new job as Campus Minister for Residence Life Ministry and Faith Formation. My office is in a residence hall with just under 1000 first year college students. There is a graduate assistant working with me. I think we'll work well together. We chatted for a while back in May, but haven't talked since (who's had time?). I'm sure we'll have time to get things in order before students start arriving....

Believe me, there is so much that I'd like to say. However, I'll leave it at that for now. All I can say to sum this up is that I am so grateful for the many ways God has blessed me in recent months... I'm filled with joy this evening (even in my lethargy...).

Many blessings to all who read this!

Sr. N

2008-07-09T07:49:00.002-04:00

Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus.

But when he saw how strong the wind was,

he became frightened and beginning to sink, he cried out,

"Lord, save me!"

Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught him,

and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

After they got into the boat, the wind died down.

Matthew 14: 29b-32

It's amazing to me how often I remind myself of Peter... especially as Peter is portrayed in this passage. Not necessarily the act of walking on water, but the all too human tendancy to lose focus on "the one thing necessary."

For the past 2 weeks or so, I've been absorbed in working on the Marianist LIFE program. That, in and of itself, is a good thing. It won't be long before 35 adults and 84 high school students will be together in the Texas hill country for 8 days... praying together, laughing together, learning and growing together. I'm really looking forward to it.

So, how does Peter find his way into this? Well, like Peter, I was starting to get caught up in how strong the winds are...

I have this habit of becoming focused on what I'm doing wrong or what my weaknesses are: I'm controlling, I'm not a great public speaker, I worry too much... am I driving the team nuts by asking too many questions and sending too many e-mails? I should have said such-and-such... or... I shouldn't have done such-and-such...

What's wrong with that picture? It's not about me!

It's all about God and God's ability to work through people who are open to that grace. And if I can stay focused on Jesus, along with the team and all those involved with this endeavor, then we'll be okay. The point is to stay focused on Jesus...

Bring on the water, Jesus, let's go!

Blessings on all who read this!
Sr. N

2008-06-28T07:52:00.002-04:00

It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants.

The question is: what are we busy about?

Henry David Thoreau

It's been a week. One week ago today I was about to head to the church... setting things out... listening to the choir rehearse... practicing the profession of vows... talking to the priests...

In many ways, last weekend seems like it was a month ago. And in other ways, the emotions are still strong enough to make it seem like yesterday.

Prior to professing vows, as you may recall, I went on an 8-day silent retreat. Immediately after the retreat our sisters had our assembly. Then my family and friends were here until earlier this week. Since then, it seems I've been "making up for lost time"...

I've been catching up with friends and working. Working? Yes...

Each summer since 2001, except for last summer, I've been working with a program called Marianist LIFE. It's a national program for small groups of high school students. I like to call it an immersion into the Marianist charism. The students build community, learn leadership skills, get in touch with their relationships with God and others, and learn about the Marianist charism so that they can take what they've learned and build Marianist community in their school or parish. Feel free to check out the website at: http://www.marianist.com/ministries.php?pid=47

This summer, I have the humbling blessing of serving as the regional coordinator for the program that happens in Texas. There are 3 sites - northern California, Dayton OH, and Central Texas. This is my first summer to serve in this capacity.

Throughout my second year of novitiate I did bits and pieces of work for LIFE - a meeting here, a conference call there, a few typed resources. However, during the first 3 weeks of June I did absolutely nothing for LIFE. I think that's how it should be, right? Preparing for vows takes priority, obviously.

However, since vows and since my family has gone, I'm am certainly making up for the 3 weeks... But... in the 3 weeks, time was not "lost."

That brings me to the above quote. Today I am reflecting on the busyness of this week.

What am I busy about? Reconnecting with friends and tying up loose ends for a program that starts in less than a month. Both good things, yes? I believe so. I'm realizing that I would not have the energy for any of it, though, if were not for the 3 weeks of not doing it at all.

When I first started novitiate I prayed with a mantra based on a story from the Old Testament. The mantra was, "Drink deeply from the wellspring of prayer, else the journey will be too long." How true, how true! The energy, zeal, passion for ministry can only come from a life deeply rooted in prayer and reflection. Otherwise... I may as well be an ant...

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N
(by the way, I will post more pictures from last weekend soon...)

2008-06-23T16:13:00.042-04:00

Life gives us brief moments with another...

but sometimes in those brief moments

we get memories that last a life time.

Unknown

As promised, I'm posting yet again. This time, I have a few pictures to share with you about the weekend.

[Disclaimer... This post has changed several times in the past 24 hours. I couldn't get the pictures to come out the way I pictured them. So, I uploaded them into a photo album through Picasa.]

Celebration of First Vows

I have to admit... I haven't taken the time to sit and truly reflect on what this past weekend (and the weeks immediately preceding) have meant to me. My "practical" side has been in high gear in since Thursday. I say this because once I've had the time to reflect and pray about what these days have meant, I will most likely post again!

The Night Before: The Trahan Family meets the Sister...

First Profession of Vows - Liturgy

Because I've been in a number of choirs, I know some pretty awesome singers & musicians... and most of them were able to be a part of the choir. They were REALLY good! There were 3 prelude songs by very important people in my life. My sister, Grace, sang the Ave Maria and gave the whole congregation chills...

Reception:

We decided to keep the reception somewhat informal... it was finger foods, a cake, and beverages.

The quote on the cake, "Do whatever he tells you" is a very important quote in the Marianist world. It is our motto, of sorts. As Marianists we vow to serve the world's needs in whatever way God leads us to serve.

What's not pictured here is that on Sunday morning we had a Sunday liturgy in our Sisters' chapel. My family who were still in town and a few friends were able to stick around were present. That liturgy was followed by a very festive (and tasty!) brunch. Then... my sister, Grace and I took her two children to a water park in New Braunfels.

Monday morning I took the last group of people to the airport...

So, now here I sit. I'm left to ponder, like Mary, the meaning of these things in my heart. And believe me, there is much to ponder! Not only was the first profession this weekend, but two weeks ago I was on a FABULOUS retreat and last week our sisters had our Assembly gathering (which was also WONDERFUL!).

I will leave you now... there is much more to say, but the pondering needs to come first.

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

2008-06-23T12:40:00.004-04:00

... let all those who put their trust in You rejoice:

let them ever shout for joy...

Psalm 5:11

Wow... it's been quite the two weeks! If I wrote about everything, you'd be reading for a very long time!

I have been trying to post pictures and a few comments for about 45 minutes. Unfortunately, I don't have time right now to keep working. However, I wanted to let you know that this weekend was BEAUTIFUL and JOY-FILLED as we celebrated my first profession of vows.

Many of my family and friends were able to be here with us, which was phenomenal!

Either later today or tomorrow, I will post pictures and more comments. Until then...

Blessings on all who read this!

Sr. N

2008-06-01T08:32:00.002-04:00

My heart is steadfast, God, my heart is steadfast.

I will sing and chant praise.

Awake, my soul; awake, lyre and harp! I will wake the dawn.

Psalm 57: 8-9

Today is June 1st. June, already?!

This month I will be 33 years old. This month I will profess first vows as a Marianist Sister. It's all just a little surreal...

Three years goes very quickly, it seems, when one is in formation. July 2005 I moved into the community and began pre-novitiate... August 2006 I became a novice. At the time I thought, "I won't profess vows until summer 2008. I'll be 33." And now? Wow. Here I am.

Today I find myself excited and in awe. God has done marvels in my life and I am grateful. The scripture quote above is one of my favorites. There's a version in some translations that reads, "My heart is ready, O God, my heart is ready." And I thought about using that translation. But, when I thought about it more, "steadfast" seems more accurate than "ready."

Who is ever truly ready to vow a life of poverty, chastity, obedience, stability in a community? I'm not sure about others in formation or preparing to take this step, but I'm not sure it's possible to feel "ready." There's always room for growth... I could be more loving, let go more, trust more, increase in faith... perfection does not come this side of heaven for us, though. So, ready isn't the right word.

But, I'm steadfast, I think. When I think "steadfast" I think committed... resolute. Do I know where this journey will lead? No. Do I feel that I am living this life perfectly? No. But, by God's grace I'm here and with God's continued grace we'll keep walking this path.

So, one week from today I will begin an 8-day silent retreat. I really like silent retreats and I'm looking forward to the time of prayer. After the retreat, our sisters are having an assembly here in San Antonio. All of our sisters in the US will gather here in San Antonio for a week of being together, praying together, and visioning about the future. The assembly begins on my birthday (happy coincidence)... and it ends on the evening before my vows.

The weekend of vows will be a full weekend. I'm so excited about friends and family who are able to join in the celebration. I will write all about it and post pictures to share with you. Most of the guests from out of town (including our Dayton sisters) will leave town Sunday afternoon or Monday morning. So, things will calm down for me a little by that Monday or Tuesday. I'll try to post then.

Well, I have to leave you now. Hopefully I will have a chance to post again before profession. However, I can't say that for sure. Mutual prayers, okay?

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

2008-05-19T14:44:00.004-04:00

Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.

Then it was said among the nations,

"The LORD has done great things for them."

Psalm 126:2

What a weekend! This past weekend I had the great opportunity to share in the first profession of vows of Marianist Brothers Tom Farnsworth and Luis Gamboa... what a joy-filled experience. The Lord has, indeed, done great things for them... and our mouths were filled with laughter and our tongues with songs of joy!

You may recall that I used to have a picture in my profile with myself and 2 guys. That was Tom and Luis... my cohort, if you will, in Marianist formation. Soon, I will join them in their new identity as professed religious...

It was a short trip for me back to Dayton... just slightly longer than 2 days. But, what a FULL weekend it was! It was a gathering of Marianists from all over the U.S. and the families and friends of Tom and Luis. There was a lot of laughter, some tears, and beautiful prayer.

I have to admit something, though. At one point in their Profession Mass, I completely "zoned out." Or, perhaps I should say, I became very focused. It was right when each of them were actually professing their vows. It was as if I had tunnel vision all of a sudden and the rest of the congregation wasn't there. I kept thinking... that'll be me... that'll be me... It was strange, sort of. Like a sort of overwhelming awe at the reality. Then I looked over at my friend Brandon, who is now officially a second year novice... I saw his tears and mine followed shortly thereafter.

Now I'm back in San Antonio... looking ahead to profession, but more importantly to the life that will follow... and reflecting on the life that has led to this point. I have to keep in mind that the Mass of Profession is just one day. The life of a religious goes on from there...

Blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

2008-05-11T16:56:00.000-04:00

There are different kinds of spiritual gifts but the same Spirit;
there are different forms of service but the same Lord;
there are different workings but the same God
who produces all of them in everyone.
To each individual the manifestation of the Spirit is given for some benefit.
1 Corinthians 12: 4-7

Happy Pentecost!

Today brings closure to the Easter Season... today marks the "birthday of the Church"... the coming of the Spirit ~ what a glorious reality! Today we celebrate the gift that the Spirit is for us, our Church and our world. And we pray that the Spirit's work continue ~ through us and through others.

I've been reflecting lately... truth be told, A LOT... but, since the Ascension, I've been focused on the gifts of the Spirit, the fruits of the Spirit and the fact that the vows to which I will publicly commit next month are themselves gifts of the Spirit.

The last line of the passage quoted above from today's second reading, "To each individual a manifestation of the Spirit is given for some benefit," is particularly striking to me today. For some benefit... So I ask myself, "why?" What benefit can come... will come... from the gifts of the Spirit... from the gifts of authentic poverty, chastity, obedience, and stability? Of course, this is assuming that I'm open to the action of the Spirit... for one has to be. That, in and of itself, though is a gift from God - the ability to be open.

Of course, these are most rhetorical questions. From this vantage point I can not begin to answer... for only God knows the fruits before they're born. I pray, though, that I might be open to all that the Spirit can do - in my life and in the lives of others. I pray that I might be open to the way the Spirit speaks through the people, circumstances and events in life. And I pray that the gifts of poverty, chastity, obedience, and stability might bear fruit...

On a different note... Please pray for a friend of mine from college. She had heart surgery late last week...

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

2008-05-04T11:12:00.004-04:00

After all, it is those who have a deep and real inner life

who are best able to deal with the irritating details of outer life.

Evelyn Underhill, Theologian & Mystic (1875-1941)

Wow. Has anyone ever read or seen this quote before? Well, I hadn't until this morning... and it sums up exactly what my thoughts are about the past few weeks...

Details... details... details...

Invitations printed - check
Invitations mailed - check
Outfit chosen - check

Daily meditation & prayer - check

Schedule for the weekend of vows - check
Menus planned - check
"Who's doing what" planned - check
Flowers - check

Daily meditation and prayer - check

Next?
Music for the Liturgy... communications about rehearsals... worship aid/program... organizing reply cards... DAILY MEDITATION AND PRAYER... call the caterer... choose a cake... check in with family coming into town... DAILY MEDITATION AND PRAYER...

And don't forget to reflect on the deeper meaning of what all this about!! - "God alone," as our Foundress, Venerable Adele de Batz de Trenquelleon, often said. Everything - for God's glory... to serve along side of Mary in bringing Christ to the world... a life commitment of poverty, chastity and obedience...

Parking?! Reserved signs?? Choir mics...

Details... details... and more details...

This stream of consciousness is "where I am" these days. It's only because of God's infinite grace that I'm not consumed with details (God's grace working through my Sisters, my family, my friends, my prayer life...).

One of our Founders, Blessed William Joseph Chaminade, said once, "The essential is the interior." That is my foundation. That is my sanity - the interior life. The rest? Unimportant details.

Many blessings to all who read this!
~Sr. N

By the way... I didn't mean to imply that spending time in prayer is just "something else" on my list of things to do! I was just trying to say that it's an essential part of the day... Just a clarification. :)

2008-04-26T20:45:00.003-04:00

Solitude is not something you must hope for in the future.

Rather, it is a deepening of the present,

and unless you look for it in the present

you will never find it.

Thomas Merton

So, it's been a little while since my last post. I hadn't even realized how quickly the time passes. I've been back in San Antonio now for a little over 2 weeks. In many ways, life has slowed down A LOT. And yet, in so many other ways, it hasn't slowed down at all!

As you might recall, my time here is specifically for "vow preparation." Some people may wonder what exactly that means. Well... it means that I spend a lot of time reflecting and praying about the commitment I will make in a little over 6 weeks... I have class with Sr. Gretchen (and sometimes other sisters) 3 times a week and reading that accompanies the classes. The reading comes from Church documents, our Sisters' documents/writings, the writings of Marianist brothers/priests and our Rule of Life. And I spend a lot of time just "me and God."

This is quite a different pace than life was in Dayton! However, I am finding this time to be good. I have time to really delve deeply into the inner life... all that God has done in, through, and around me... and the life which I will enter more completely with the profession of vows.

So, I suppose I should say that my "outer life" has slowed down to a considerable crawl... while my inner life is "jumping." :) God's been busy in my life... not that I'm surprised, but I do find it difficult to put it all into words as of right now. Can you imagine, me at a loss for words?? Miracles never cease...

Perhaps that's why I haven't posted lately. Today, though, I decided that I should at least let you know that I'm alive and well... and reflecting on the great mystery of God's infinite love and the call for me to follow in this way. It's a little overwhelming to phrase it that way, but that's where I am!

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

2008-04-10T11:53:00.003-04:00

If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is "thank you,"

it will be enough.

Meister Eckhart

Greetings from San Antonio!

I'm back in Texas to begin my preparations for vows. I'll officially begin next week, however, as I have meetings this weekend for Marianist LIFE.

As I was leaving Dayton yesterday morning... and reflecting on my nearly 11 months of being a novice there... I began to truly reflect upon all the lessons learned, the graces given, the growth through challenges that occurred as a result of being there. There's a lot to process! However, I know one thing for sure. I am grateful!

Although I am returning to Dayton in August to do ministry as a temporary professed, I realized on Tuesday that many things will be different for me upon my return. So, Tuesday evening I was able to bring some closure to my time there. How?? Through prayer and celebration, of course!

Our community celebrates Eucharist together once a week - Tuesday evenings. This Tuesday we invited over the 5 SM novices (the 2 second year novices returned to the novitiate to begin their preparations for vows), the SM novice director (who is my spiritual director), the SM assistant novice director and 2 young women who are discerning religious life. So, we had a beautiful Eucharist followed by a wonderful and festive meal! We had a great time and I was able to thank them for their support throughout my time there. Pictured above are the 7 Marianist novices for 2007-2008.

Wednesday morning, as I was preparing to leave the house for the airport, the doorbell rang. No one was expecting visitors so I was a little surprised. Then, in walked a few members of the Embers Community - the Lay Marianist group of students with whom I have worked during my time in Dayton. They walked over, in the rain, just to say good-bye. By the time I return, they will have graduated and moved on to volunteer opportunities or graduate school. I will miss working with them a great deal!

There is much more I could say. And as I reflect more upon my time in Dayton, I am certain that I'll have much to share. But for now, I have to be going.

Easter Blessings on all who read this!

Sr. N

2008-03-31T07:06:00.002-04:00

Jesus said to them again,

"Peace be with you.

As the Father has sent me, so I send you."

John 20: 21

Guess what?! I returned from the conference to find a congratulatory e-mail... I have been approved to profess first vows! I will receive the official "hard copy" when I return to San Antonio in a little less than 2 weeks to begin preparation for profession.

So, how does that feel? I was reflecting on this very question yesterday... It's overwhelming in a way. The approval makes everything more "real" in a way that's difficult to explain. It's exciting... it's awe-inspiring... This profession of vows, although temporary, is such an important step - an affirmation of a call received, a "yes" in faith, a commitment to the Marianist Sisters...

Moving forward in faith with no knowledge of what might be ahead isn't always easy (especially for me!). Yesterday's Gospel states, though, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you." What a perfect reading! It was somewhat like another conformation of the next step. "Yes, Nicole, be at peace. I'm the one sending you."

I have to get going now as the day will most likely be fairly full. However, I wanted to post the good news before too much time had passed...

Much Easter peace & joy to those who read this,

Sr. N