Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The Lord sets prisoners free;
the Lord gives sight to the blind.
The Lord raises up those who are bowed down...
the Lord protects the stranger, sustains the orphan and the widow...
Psalm 146: 7b-8a, 9a

Yes, it's rather odd that I post on my blog on a weekday morning. However, a number of things have converged for me and prompted me to post this morning. I'll explain...

As you know I've been studying the vow of obedience lately... listening to God (in the many ways that God communicates) and then acting out of love on what God is "saying" in life. Therefore, I have been reflecting lately on how well I listen... how well I respond... In addition, studying this vow brings me face-to-face with a different reality... I am not in control. Yes, I know, I've written several times about that particular topic. It seems that it's a big lesson I'm learning this year - There are a great number of things I do not control... Learning to be "okay" with that has proven difficult.

Coupled with my study of the vow of obedience is the fact that there are many people in my life who are going through rather difficult times... whether because of broken relationships, confusion about their life's direction, the broken promises of important people in their lives, set backs, and/or tough decisions. Some of these people talk to me about what's going on... others don't because they don't feel they can... some would very much like for me to "fix it."

Then, this morning at morning prayer the second psalm we prayed was Psalm 146... a reminder that it is the Lord who raises up, who protects, who gives sight and sets free. I was struck by the awesome reality of that psalm. No where in Scripture does it say, "Nicole, you're in charge of fixing things." Or "Nicole, it all depends on you."

Nope... God's in charge.

There are a 2 main things on which these three realizations cause me to reflect: 1) Psalm 146 is very freeing and very hopeful. It's a good thing that God's in control... because heaven knows I'm just a fragile human who makes too many mistakes to count. 2) I am called to a humble recognition that I'm not God. I can't "fix" things. I have no control over the chaos in some people's lives... as much as I care about them and as much as I act out of empathy... I can only do what God has gifted me to do... nothing more and hopefully nothing less... and whatever good that comes is from God and the action of God's Spirit. Lastly, I should not be so harsh on myself if I can't fix every problem that's presented to me.

Ah, yes.... morning prayer today was a brief lesson in hope... and a lesson in humility - I am grateful to God for the gentle reminders. And, I will continue to pray for those who are struggling right now... I will do what I can... understanding that, in the words of Oscar Romero, "I am a worker, not the Master Builder"... and trust in God's guidance (for them and for me).

Blessings to all who read this...
Sr. N