Sunday, June 01, 2008

My heart is steadfast, God, my heart is steadfast.
I will sing and chant praise.
Awake, my soul; awake, lyre and harp! I will wake the dawn.
Psalm 57: 8-9

Today is June 1st. June, already?!

This month I will be 33 years old. This month I will profess first vows as a Marianist Sister. It's all just a little surreal...

Three years goes very quickly, it seems, when one is in formation. July 2005 I moved into the community and began pre-novitiate... August 2006 I became a novice. At the time I thought, "I won't profess vows until summer 2008. I'll be 33." And now? Wow. Here I am.

Today I find myself excited and in awe. God has done marvels in my life and I am grateful. The scripture quote above is one of my favorites. There's a version in some translations that reads, "My heart is ready, O God, my heart is ready." And I thought about using that translation. But, when I thought about it more, "steadfast" seems more accurate than "ready."

Who is ever truly ready to vow a life of poverty, chastity, obedience, stability in a community? I'm not sure about others in formation or preparing to take this step, but I'm not sure it's possible to feel "ready." There's always room for growth... I could be more loving, let go more, trust more, increase in faith... perfection does not come this side of heaven for us, though. So, ready isn't the right word.

But, I'm steadfast, I think. When I think "steadfast" I think committed... resolute. Do I know where this journey will lead? No. Do I feel that I am living this life perfectly? No. But, by God's grace I'm here and with God's continued grace we'll keep walking this path.

So, one week from today I will begin an 8-day silent retreat. I really like silent retreats and I'm looking forward to the time of prayer. After the retreat, our sisters are having an assembly here in San Antonio. All of our sisters in the US will gather here in San Antonio for a week of being together, praying together, and visioning about the future. The assembly begins on my birthday (happy coincidence)... and it ends on the evening before my vows.

The weekend of vows will be a full weekend. I'm so excited about friends and family who are able to join in the celebration. I will write all about it and post pictures to share with you. Most of the guests from out of town (including our Dayton sisters) will leave town Sunday afternoon or Monday morning. So, things will calm down for me a little by that Monday or Tuesday. I'll try to post then.

Well, I have to leave you now. Hopefully I will have a chance to post again before profession. However, I can't say that for sure. Mutual prayers, okay?

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

9 comments:

Susan Rose Francois, CSJP said...

It amazing how quickly the journey unfolds. I'm preparing to write my letter requesting vows this week (vows would be Oct 11).

Prayers coming your way! May this be a time full of many graces and blessings.

Peace!
Sr. Susan

Kelly_SSJ said...

Howdy!!! Hope you are well. Sounds like you are more than just a bit excited! :) Prayers go with you. May both the created and uncreated trinities make their presence felt to you during this time especially!

Lisa said...

I continue to be happy for you, Nicole, and thankful, too. My prayers will expand as you enter this very special time of preparation and confirmation. I look forward to hearing all about it! While I wish I could be there in person to celebrate your day, I will join the celebration in spirit.

Laura, fmi said...

Know that as you make this retreat your Marianist sisters hold you close to our hearts and are excited to celebrate with you! While I can't remember the actual retreat I made just before vows - I remember the feeling of awe and grace - and the challenge of trusting it! May you continue to be blessed with a steadfast heart!
Shanti, LML

marie Joƫlle said...

dear Nicole,
I share your joy and know that my prayer is accompanying you in this marvellous journey.
I hope God is giving you many graces while your are on retreat.
May our Mother Mary join your "fiat" to hers.
Affectionately.

dmkorman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dmkorman said...

Quite a month of joy and blessings.

Enjoy: http://www.bluemountain.com/view.pd?i=192704223&m=3483&rr=y&source=bma999

David

Lisa said...

Nicole, I am thinking of you and sending extra special support during these final days of immediate preparation for your profession of "YES!"

Lisa

A.J. said...

Nicole,


Saturday will be a great day for you, for the Marianist Sisters, for the Marianist Family and another great day for God. Your joy is our joy. Your mission is our mission. Your future is our future.

Please know that although Joan and I cannot be with you this Saturday you will be in our thoughts, prayers and best wishes.

peace and love,
aj