Only two weeks left...

No matter how much time you've wasted in the past, 

you still have an entire tomorrow.

Denis Waitley (Ourmindfullife.com)

This past weekend we reached the 2 month mark... We've been together for 2 months! Now, we have 2 weeks left. In fact, 2 weeks from today I will wake up in my bed in Dayton. It's crazy how things (how I?) have changed in this time. 

An illustration for you... Take a look at this picture.

This picture was taken fairly early on during our time here. Each day we have two tea breaks - one mid-morning and one in the late afternoon. This was one of the two. And you see me sitting... alone... lost in my thoughts. What you can't see (with a small exception) is that everyone else is standing or sitting in small groups... chatting, laughing, sharing, etc. 

I spent so much time in the first 3 - 4 weeks trapped in my own mind. I was questioning a lot... Trying to figure out how to relate to folks from different cultures... Feeling shy about joining a conversation with people who are all from the same region... Being insecure about my lack of language ability... Nervous about verifying people's possible stereotypes of Americans... Feeling foolish because I don't understand a person's sense of humor and then responding in a weird way... or feeling foolish because I don't understand a person's accent and having to ask them to repeat themselves several times... 

I'm sure you get what I'm saying. 

Now... Contrast that first picture with the following pictures:

  

   

As I look towards leaving (while still "being here now"), I recognize that I'm going to miss a lot about being here. I'll miss the after-dinner walks -- laughing, singing, talking -- Walking down the hall in the morning to get coffee and hearing music from India coming from one person's bedroom (in Hindi? in Tamil? not sure) -- I'll miss hearing the joyous laughter erupting from particular folks (such joy!) - I'll miss the drumming and clapping in Mass while singing in a language I don't understand, but that I find beautiful --  I'll miss the conversations about culture, cultural norms, and different Marianist realities in various parts of the world -- And it will be weird to go home and not live in community with 30-something people... 

I am also lamenting the fact that I spent so much time stuck in my head. So much wasted time! Well... "wasted" in terms of building relationships, but not quite wasted as I consider the changes within myself... Anyway, I need to remember... I still have 2 weeks. So, I will be here now and welcome the graces that come - whether they come through times of reflection or in conversation/relationships.

Many blessings,

Sr. N