Where else can you find such grace happening through such craziness? 

Bro. Tom Wendorf, National Vocations Director for the Marianists Brothers and Priests

There is no other way to describe the past several weeks than with the quote here from my friend/colleague Bro. Tom. God is so interesting. I am quite possibly busier than I've been at any other time in my life... my calendar is pretty crazy. And yet, God's grace abounds and, somehow, I do not feel at all frazzled.

It all came into focus for me this weekend. This weekend the Marianist Family celebrated the perpetual profession of one of our Brothers - Tom Farnsworth. Tom and I entered religious life in the same year and professed first vows within months of each other. The Mass was beautiful - the UD chapel was packed... The reception and dinner were enjoyable and up-lifting. Last night, after everything was over, another Brother says to a group of us, "I don't know how anyone can come away from a celebration like this and not be inspired." There are no more appropriate words than those.

In his homily yesterday, Fr. Marty (the Provincial for the Marianist Brothers and Priests) stated that what Tom was doing was rare - making a permanent commitment - to live forever witnessing to Christ in this way. And it's true. In our society it seems that people can be a little "commitment-phobic." And the way of a religious is not the way for many people. So, it is rare. For me personally, discerning if a permanent commitment will be the next step in my journey, I am all too keenly aware of that tendency. But, Marty also said that it is God who "makes a vocation"... essentially, it is God who calls and it is God who gives the grace necessary to keep saying yes... even in the midst of craziness.

Lately I've been reflecting on the concept of the "grace of state" - the grace that God gives someone so that the person can live faithful to their call, whatever that call might be. I am reminded of a quote from Scripture, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I believe that anyone who says yes to a life-time commitment has this kind of confidence... this kind of faith in God's providence. And so I ask myself, "Is this the kind of confidence I have in God?" Well... I know that's what I desire to have.

Now, I'm not going to lie and say that in my so busy life everything has been smooth and without issues. We all know that can't be true. However, in the midst of e-mails and phone calls, paper work and planning, teaching and meetings... God's there. What else is there to say, right?

I've realized that in my life God's grace is often manifested through relationships... through friends and family, community and the larger Marianist family, coworkers and strangers. In recent weeks this has again been the case. Late night conversations with other "young" religious ... coffee with another vocations director... video chats with friends far away... texts from family... shared prayer in community at the end of a retreat day... conversations about prayer and discernment... the celebration of jubilees and professions... bowling with friends... all of these have been experiences of God and bearers of God's grace.

Yes. Even in the midst of craziness - perhaps especially in the midst of craziness - God's grace is ever present. And that is something in which I can have confidence.

Blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N

... decide today whom you will serve...

Joshua 24: 15b

Wow. It's been more than a month since my last post! With the start of the academic year and the transitions in our province, I hadn't realized how long it had been...  There is so much to say, I barely know where to start!

First, an update on the start of the academic year. It's so good to be in my second year back at a high school. Things go so much smoother in the second year of a new ministry. There are, of course, the normal transitions at the beginning of every year. However, it's less because I am not trying to learn all the basics - lines of communication, who everyone is and what they do, the rhythm of meetings etc. Now, it's just getting used to a new group of students and a few new responsibilities. There are two exciting things going on at school this year... One, I have an intern working with me. He's some what like a student teacher, except he's already graduated from college with a degree in theology. Before now I had never had a student teacher. So it's been an adjustment. It's a good one, though. Having him around forces me to be more reflective about how I teach and what my goals/objectives are. Not that I never gave that thought before, but it's good for me to make it more explicit and have to explain it to someone. ... Second, I'm helping coordinate a new project at school for our seniors. We're just doing a small pilot this year with a few students, but we hope to launch the entire senior class next year. The project is a humanities interdisciplinary research inquiry into an issue of social justice. I don't want to go into all the details, but needless to say, I'm excited!

Now, for an update on our sisters. In the 6 weeks since I've written we've chosen a new provincial, installed a new provincial council, and named a new province director of vocations. That last piece of information is the most intriguing for me, personally. I am now the new vocations director for our province - for a term of 3 years....

This is a fairly significant moment for me. Allow me to explain.

Several weeks ago - maybe two weeks after I posted last - I was struck by the Sunday readings. I thought about blogging that weekend, but I couldn't quite pull my words together - or better yet, it was just a little too personal. The quote at the top of this blog is from the first reading of that Sunday (Aug. 26th). I was more struck by the Gospel, though. It is the end of the Bread of Life Discourse from John's Gospel. Jesus has just finished telling a large group of disciples that unless they eat his body and drink his blood they will have no life within them. Well, as one would guess, many disciples choose to leave. I imagine them saying, "Forget this. This man is nuts." Jesus turns to the 12 and says asks them if they are planning to leave, too. Peter, being the bold one who typically speaks up first says, "Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God."

I read the readings on Saturday night... prayed with them that Sunday morning... and listened intently as Fr. Jim gave his homily. And it all brought me back to the same thing - Jesus asks us at different points in our lives to make certain decisions. Who are you going to serve? To what will you give your life? What about you - are you also going to leave? And in this year in which I face the prospect of perpetual vows, the questions seemed all too real. And they still do!

And now, I am serving as our vocations director. How did I discern saying yes? Great question.  I prayed about it for a few days. I asked a lot of questions of our provincial (which is funny because she's the same person I bombarded with questions before I turned in my paper work to enter the congregation... So, I guess she's used to that from me). And... the more I prayed about it the more excited I became and the more ideas came to me. I almost started planning things before I said yes. That's always a good sign for me.

So this is good. Is it scary? Yes. Do I know what the future holds? Of course not. Who does? But, I do know that I have found life in this life... and I have to trust that.

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N