Until next time...

How lucky am I to have something

that makes saying goodbye so hard.

Winnie the Pooh

What can I say? I'm not sure what to say. There's too much... 

Yesterday, our last day together, each of us shared insights we've gained from being here - in 6 minutes or less (I think very few of us stuck to that!). There were some touching moments, lots of laughter, and lots of insights. And although I was not one of the funny ones (I never am) - nor was I especially insightful - I thought I would share with you what I shared with everyone... 

My weekly lectio divina group... family.
7 AM every Wednesday.

My sharing from yesterday (slightly edited):

As you all know, synthesizing 11 weeks is not easy. I have grown a great deal in these weeks, but not in the ways I expected. Sometimes the most important learning happens outside the formal classroom, and the same is true for me. I have grown in profound ways that I will continue to unpack as time goes by. My assumptions have been challenged - I have been very reflective about what I've learned here about culture, about my own biases and prejudices, and all the things I still have to learn - and the time here has been deeply humbling for me, which I hope makes me a better, more patient, formator.  So, I thank each of you - the team, participants, guest speakers...

There are some concepts, though, related to the content that will stick with me. I think many things can be summed up with something Bro. Tim Driscoll said during week 5... our work is, "helping people in formation to move from an idea/ideal to something they live in their heart, something they embody, and something they can live in community." Communities that are warm, prayerful, and intercultural.

We are to accompany our folks in formation as they (and we) integrate what it is to be Marianist. It is not something that we do, but something that we are. The models of formation (especially the model of integration) give us a framework. And we need to be attentive to the fact that people have different models of formation - our community members, our formation teams, and even our formees - may have a different model of formation. We need to be attentive to that. We also need to be attentive to human formation/development so that we can accompany individuals instead of monolithic groups. 

Sr. Franca reminded us that the world in which we currently live is marked by BANI - bitterness, anxiety... it is non-linear and incomprehensible. This has an impact on what we do and how we go about it. So, we have to be discerning. Getting support from a mentor or a peer group is really important. As Sr. Marie Joëlle said, "An isolated Christian is a Christian in danger." We need that support so we can be people of "joy, conviction, and hope..." I wish I could remember who said that to us...

Ultimately - as many have said already - formation is the work of the Holy Spirit with Mary as model and guide. Our job is not to get in the way of what the Spirit is doing. May it be so.

This is what I shared with the group yesterday. It's imperfect, but it is a good overview of what I am carrying with me. More will unfold with time.

My heart is full, and at the same time, I am sad. I don't know when - or if - I will see any of these folks again. And, no, I'm not being dramatic. It's a fact. Our paths may not cross again. So, I will carry each of them in my heart.. until we meet again.

And now... I will allow myself a few tears. 
Many blessings,
Sr. N

Only two weeks left...

No matter how much time you've wasted in the past, 

you still have an entire tomorrow.

Denis Waitley (Ourmindfullife.com)

This past weekend we reached the 2 month mark... We've been together for 2 months! Now, we have 2 weeks left. In fact, 2 weeks from today I will wake up in my bed in Dayton. It's crazy how things (how I?) have changed in this time. 

An illustration for you... Take a look at this picture.

This picture was taken fairly early on during our time here. Each day we have two tea breaks - one mid-morning and one in the late afternoon. This was one of the two. And you see me sitting... alone... lost in my thoughts. What you can't see (with a small exception) is that everyone else is standing or sitting in small groups... chatting, laughing, sharing, etc. 

I spent so much time in the first 3 - 4 weeks trapped in my own mind. I was questioning a lot... Trying to figure out how to relate to folks from different cultures... Feeling shy about joining a conversation with people who are all from the same region... Being insecure about my lack of language ability... Nervous about verifying people's possible stereotypes of Americans... Feeling foolish because I don't understand a person's sense of humor and then responding in a weird way... or feeling foolish because I don't understand a person's accent and having to ask them to repeat themselves several times... 

I'm sure you get what I'm saying. 

Now... Contrast that first picture with the following pictures:

  

   

As I look towards leaving (while still "being here now"), I recognize that I'm going to miss a lot about being here. I'll miss the after-dinner walks -- laughing, singing, talking -- Walking down the hall in the morning to get coffee and hearing music from India coming from one person's bedroom (in Hindi? in Tamil? not sure) -- I'll miss hearing the joyous laughter erupting from particular folks (such joy!) - I'll miss the drumming and clapping in Mass while singing in a language I don't understand, but that I find beautiful --  I'll miss the conversations about culture, cultural norms, and different Marianist realities in various parts of the world -- And it will be weird to go home and not live in community with 30-something people... 

I am also lamenting the fact that I spent so much time stuck in my head. So much wasted time! Well... "wasted" in terms of building relationships, but not quite wasted as I consider the changes within myself... Anyway, I need to remember... I still have 2 weeks. So, I will be here now and welcome the graces that come - whether they come through times of reflection or in conversation/relationships.

Many blessings,

Sr. N

Reflecting

Cultural influences have set up the assumptions about the mind, 

the body, and the universe with which we begin; pose the questions we ask; 

influence the facts we seek; determine the interpretation we give these facts; 

and direct our reaction to these interpretations and conclusions.

Gunner Myrdal

As we begin this month of October and a week of retreat, I thought I would share a few thoughts on which I've been reflecting.

_._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._.

I've known for a long time that the United States does not support a communitarian culture. We are individualistic, goal-oriented, privacy-protecting, independent, and rights-focused... generally speaking. This is something that I've grown more critical of in recent years... and yet, it remains deeply ingrained in me. Last weekend a few of us went to Sunday Mass at a nearby parish. At the end of Mass during the announcements, there was information given on upcoming weddings. "So-and-so, son of so-and-so, from such-and-such plans to marry so-and-so, daughter of so-and-so, from such-and-such. If anyone has reasons this marriage should not take place..." I gasped - audibly. I was flabbergasted and wondered, "What is happening?!" So, later at lunch, I asked my table about this practice. Those at the table (as far as I can remember right now) were from Zambia, Kenya, Vietnam, Ivory Coast, Malawi, India, and South Korea. Everyone was familiar with this practice - except the person from South Korea and myself. 

Marriage in many contexts is a communal affair. I learned from the conversation that it's not just for any reason that someone can speak in opposition to a marriage. But, perhaps someone in the community is aware that one of the people already has a spouse and family somewhere else... or that they are guilty of something serious... And it's a process, not just a random objection. They laughed when I asked about bitter exes trying to stop their former partner from marrying someone else. It's not like that. People don't disrespect the process.

I went from flabbergasted (and appalled?) to fascinated, curious, and deeply reflective. Shaped by the culture from which I come, I couldn't image this - someone interjecting into someone else's private life and trying to deny a right. But that is not the perspective from which others look at the situation. And perhaps there is something to learn from this... oh, arrogant American.

Something else I learned from the conversation... Since everyone in the parish knows when the wedding is (date and time), people just show up to the celebration... invitation... no invitation... it doesn't matter. Everyone is welcome. 

There's something about all this that I appreciate. 

_._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._.

A funny exchange happened yesterday when a few of us went out for lunch after a hiking expedition. One of the Sisters ordered a drink I didn't recognize. The Brother sitting next to me explained, very matter-of-fact, "That beer is for women." "Oh?? (with an eyebrow raised) What does that mean?" I responded very calmly. "Oh! I mean... I'm not trying to... I mean... it's... hmm... you know... not as strong... good for women."... "Oh?" It was kind of funny to watch him trying to get himself out of that situation. What he was actually trying to say is that it's a good "starter" beer for those who don't drink. And to be fair, I should explain that this Brother doesn't drink at all. So, some slack is necessary. But it was interesting to me: 1. how matter-of-fact his statement was and 2. how quickly I responded with a challenge in my voice - not rudely - just challenging the statement.  

My understanding of the equality of the sexes is fierce - even in mundane things.

_._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._.

Random learning from yesterday - 

Distance here is measured in kilometers. However, the odometer in vehicles is called "mileage." I tried to explain to people why this doesn't make sense, but no one understood (or cared?) what I was trying to point out. There should be another word for calculating distance that is based on kilometers instead of miles, yes? Why call it mileage if you don't use miles? 

I'm right about this one... 😉

_._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._.

Last week I stayed up way too late on a Wednesday night having an intense conversation with a Brother from West Africa and one from India about the impact of colonization and white supremacy - missionaries and the "white savior complex" -  on religious life in their contexts. There is paternalism and a resulting infantilization that is still part of the dynamic in international congregations. Enlightening conversation... but also maddening and somewhat strange for me as a person of color from a Western nation. I'm in such a weird position of privilege, but not quite... If that makes sense. I walk a line, and it influences everything. Mine is a unique voice, no doubt. I have so much still to learn, though. 

So much to carry with me into retreat this week. I appreciate your prayers... and know of mine!

From the chapel here at the retreat center

Blessings,

Sr. N

 

"Oh... we're halfway there! Oh-oh living on a prayer!"

“Focus on the journey, not the destination.

Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.”

Greg Anderson

It really is hard to believe that we've reached the halfway point in our program. In some ways, it feels like we've been here a really long time (so many experiences, conversations, reflections, etc.), and in other ways, it feels like we haven't been here that long - there are still people with whom I haven't talked much at all. But... here we are. 

This past week has been different. The SM and the FMI spent Monday - Friday in separate meetings. The Brothers spent the week learning about formation in their history - reading many documents and in conversation about current formation. At least, that's what I understand about what they were up to. As for the FMI... we were working on the revision of our congregational Guide to Formation.

This document, which is in the process of being revised, establishes the framework, contents, methods, and resources for the formation of new Sisters. Each day we read and looked at the guide from a different perspective (with the help of certain documents). We'd spend time in individual reflection followed by discussion in language groups and finally deciding as a group on our recommendations for edits to the guide. It was hard work, to be honest. We worked without a translator. So, we translated for each other. And while I'm the only one for whom English is her first language, we did most of our work in English (with side conversations in Spanish and French). Once we finished, the two of us who served as secretaries for the week worked on a synthesis document which the group approved, and we will submit it to our General Administration for the next stage of the updating process. 

Secretaries hard at work on the document.
I loved the fact that we were both wearing purple.
She didn't notice until I said something. 

The FMIs at work

One day, the FMIs decided to sit together at lunch. You would think we were doing something terrible with the response we received from the Brothers. So much grief! But, all in good fun...

Even with all the work, we were still smiling.

This morning, Saturday, we are back with the SM for our morning session. We're taking a look at what our recent General Chapters have to teach us about formation. 

We are free for the rest of the weekend (except for communal prayer and meals). Although, I think we have a social planned for this evening. We do not have an outing planned for this afternoon or tomorrow. So, laundry day for me, maybe? And maybe I can read something...? Or sleep?? All good options. We'll see what happens. 😊

At this point in our time here, I am reflecting on lessons I'm learning outside of our sessions. I'm learning a lot in terms of content. This is true. But there are many other things not included in our sessions. Here are a few things (in no particular order):

• The higher the cotton content of clothing, the easier it is to wash by hand, the faster it dries, and the softer it is when dry. Why I brought so many things with polyester and spandex is an annoying mystery to me.
• Speaking a common language does not guarantee a connection. A common language does not necessarily indicate a similar sense of humor, perspective on life, or value system. Building a connection takes work and can be exhausting.
• My social awkwardness, which is a normal fact of life, is magnified when I'm in an unfamiliar context. It's off the charts without others who share my home context.
• Singing in a different language is a lot easier than reading that same language out loud or understanding someone speaking. I've learned I can sing in a few languages and understand what I'm singing. But don't ask me to read the same words out loud... It's so much harder! 🤔 Why can't I use my signing brain at other times?
• I know so little about the history of different countries on the African continent. 
• The sun is more intense when you're closer to the equator. I know that. But I've experienced it in new ways.
• The narratives we play in our minds make a huge difference in terms of attitude and behavior... and can either build bridges or walls between people. There is a choice involved. 

That's all for now. Now I'm off to embrace a free afternoon.

Many blessings,

Sr. N

Tell me... what does commitment look like to you?

The Lord’s call – let it be said at the outset – is not as clear-cut as any of those things 

we can hear, see or touch in our daily experience. God comes silently and discreetly, 

without imposing on our freedom. Thus it can happen that his voice 

is drowned out by the many worries and concerns 

that fill our minds and hearts.

We need, then, to learn how to listen carefully to his word 

and the story of his life, 

but also to be attentive to the details of our own daily lives, 

in order to learn how to view things 

with the eyes of faith, and to keep ourselves open to the surprises of the Spirit.

Pope Francis

Message for the 55th World Day of Vocations

2018

Recap of the week...

Last week - week 5 - was quite the week. The topic was consecrated life, which is rather broad. We looked at each of the vows. We looked at what makes religious life "radical" in our world today. We read parts of Vatican documents on consecrated life and our own Rules of Life. We spent time meditating on beautiful pieces of art each morning. We also had group presentations. Thank you to our facilitator for the week, our own Bro. Tim from New York. 

The real "meat" of the week, though, came from our group discussions about cultural context and the challenges we face in living committed lives. I heard from some of our SMs about being held at gunpoint - churches being bombed - fear of extremists - religious women being raped (not our FMIs, but women they know). Priests who have been jailed for nothing more than baptizing someone without government permission. We talked about challenges to the vow of poverty when the religious live better than the candidates' families. We shared about family and societal expectations of adult children. We talked about clericalism, the sins of the Church, and how religious are misunderstood around the world - regardless of context. 

No doubt, a heavy week. But so, so good. I have learned a great deal. And understand in a more complete way (although, not completely) what a commitment to Marianist life means for our Brothers and Sisters in different parts of the world. I will be unpacking those conversations for a while.

Weekend...

Saturday was a relaxing day. The afternoon was free, so I went to the mall across the street with two of our Brothers and had a lovely fruit smoothie. Then that evening we had a social with lots of dancing. 

On Sunday we had another excursion. This time to Lake Naivasha. What a fun day - after the heaviness of the week, it was good to be outside, laugh, walk alongside someone and chat for a bit. 

The Great Rift Valley and Lake Naivasha

The lake is about a 2.5-hour drive from our retreat center. We left Sunday after breakfast and returned about an hour before evening prayer. 

About midway through the drive, we stopped at a scenic overlook. From this point, you see a beautiful view of the Great Rift Valley. This rift extends from Jordan along eastern Africa to Mozambique. According to Brittanica.com, the "East African Rift System, also called Afro-Arabian Rift Valley, one of the most extensive rifts on Earth’s surface, extending from Jordan in southwestern Asia southward through eastern Africa to Mozambique. The system is some 4,000 miles (6,400 km) long and averages 30–40 miles (48–64 km) wide."

Because of the fossils found in the Great Rift Valley, it is believed that this area is the birthplace of humanity. Let that soak in for a minute...

If this video loads, you'll see the panorama.

With Joel, SM and Jinu, SM

With Sisters Terese and Prudence

Stunning views

With Terese

So, also there were these very aggressive vendors
at the overlook. Fr. Pablo and I resisted very well!

Crescent Island

When we arrived at Lake Naivasha we took boats out to Crescent Island. 

There are a lot of dead trees in and
near the water. We were told that it's 
because of too much rainfall -
roots were unable to get enough O2.

Cows on the shore before boarded 
the boats.

7 people per boat for the 10-minute ride

Another view of the trees

All aboard!

Another Marianist boat

 

My first time seeing pelicans in person (you'll see them, too, if this video ever loads)...

On Crescent Island...

Lots and lots of cactus

If you look closely, you can see a monkey in this tree... Super cute!

The ostriches are used to people and
not as mean as others

Antelope

Wildebeasts... Our guide called them one of the "ugly 5."
They're not what I would call cute...

More wildebeasts... We saw zebras
and impalas, too but no pics...

Return to the mainland... and hippos!

If you look closely, you can see 2 eagles.
They look a lot like the American bald eagle,
but they are African Fish Eagles

Of course, I don't know the name of this mountain

We saw many hippos... some from the island and more from the boats

I was pretty proud of the timing of this pic

Hippos, although vegetarians, can be aggressive if you get too close.
So... we were feeling just a little nervous.

Once we made it back to the mainland, we had a wonderful buffet lunch - I was so happy to have baked chicken and mashed potatoes! And then it was back to get ready for another week.

Thanks for reading this long (and delayed) blog.

Many blessings!

Sr. N

Sometimes the most important lessons happen outside the classroom...

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Grant Allen

(Often attributed to Mark Twain)

What a week. We have focused in our sessions on the French School of Spirituality, Mariology (the study of Mary), and the spirituality of St. Joseph in the writings of Blessed Chaminade. This has all been good... but the gem moments of the week - the ones that will stick with me into the future - have been away from our meeting room... hence the quote from Grant Allen.

Last weekend we didn't have any official excursions. But we had optional outings on both Saturday and Sunday. Saturday we went into Nairobi. We visited Holy Family Basilica, a market downtown (no pics), and a local cultural center (I didn't write down the name... so, I don't remember anymore what it was called.

Here are a few pics from last Saturday (Sept. 2)...

The FMIs at the Bascilica

            

You'll notice, that I had on an Ohio t-shirt. Needless to say, this made me a bit of a target for vendors at the street market who thought they could sell wooden spoons to me for the equivalent of $110... I may be American, but I know what the Kenyan shillings are worth in US dollars... Next time, I won't wear a shirt that screams "Tourist!" lol

Here are a few pics from the cultural center we visited:

      

Yes... I am taller than the majority of Marianists gathered here...

On Sunday, we visited a place called Resurrection Gardens. This large property is a place for prayer and retreat. There is a retreat center on the property as well as what looked like hermitages, but I couldn't see them very clearly. It was so beautiful and peaceful. The paths were lined with large bronze sculptures of the Stations of the Cross... larger-than-life-sized colorful mosaics of images depicting Scripture passages... quotes from the Psalms or Gospel parables... There were multiple chapels (with seating for about 50), and benches on which to sit. There were signs everywhere reminding people to remain silent on the grounds, so all you could hear was the breeze moving through the trees. There were people praying and reading - in the chapels, under trees, on various benches, etc. Our time there was definitely time well spent. Unfortunately... along with the signs reminding folks to keep silent, there are signs that ask people not to take pictures. So, once you pass through the entrance, that's it. No more pictures. But here are pics from the entrance and the parking lot. 😊  

  

This weekend has also been very full. On Friday, Sept. 8, the Feast of the Nativity of Mary,  we had a very full day... I could have written a blog just about this one day. 

We spent most of the day visiting Our Lady of Nazareth Primary School, the UJAMAA Family Center, and IMANI (Incentive from the Marianists to Assist the Needy to be Independent). These ministries of the Society of Mary are located in one of the largest slums in Nairobi. You can learn more about these places on the Brothers' website: https://www.marianist.com/africa-ministries

The school has a student population of 2550 ages 3 years old to around 13. When we arrived, about 1/3 of the school was seated outside waiting for us. After words of welcome from the head of school and chaplain, some students danced and entertained us for a little while. Then we had a small tour, and 6 of us were pulled aside to help serve lunch to the 3 year-olds. I am so glad that I was one of those 6. The children... so well behaved and bright-eyed... Their teacher would say, "Class, how are you?" and they would reply, "Fine teacher, how are you?" Anyway, the students receive breakfast and lunch each day. We missed serving breakfast, which is a cup of Kenyan porridge called uji. A very nutritious soup, kind of purple-ish in color, made from millet. We have it each day at the retreat center, too. I like it. It tastes a little like grits to me, but thinner. Anyway, for lunch the little ones have rice and beans. The older children have beans and corn (called maize here). 

              .          

After, we toured some more and then had another set of children perform for us and give us gifts. Each of us received a piece of artwork created by a child. The child artist gave it to the person. 

.             

Then we toured the UJAMAA Family Center and IMANI. These ministries work with the families of the students at Our Lady of Nazareth (adult literacy, etc.) and with other adults (both from the slum and from other areas) in skill development (catering, metalwork, textile work, cosmetology, etc.). This is where we had lunch - catered by the young adults at IMANI. I took no pictures, but I'll carry the images and conversations in my heart.

Since Friday was the Nativity of Mary, we had a celebration for her birthday once we returned to the retreat center... Mass, dinner, dessert, and a social complete with dancing. I've tried to post videos here, but they are just too large. 

Saturday a small group of us traveled to the Nairobi National Museum. 

And there you have it. Today, Sunday, Sept. 10, has been a rather low-key day. We did have some visitors, though. Fr. Michael Chiuri, SM is a Marianist in Los Angeles and a member of the US Province. He was born in Nairobi, though, and his immediate family is still here. Today his brother, sister-in-law, and their two children came over for Mass and lunch. I hadn't seen them since 2016, so it was nice to visit with them again.

Now, off to sleep to get ready for week 5!

Many blessings,

Sr. N