Reflecting

Cultural influences have set up the assumptions about the mind, 

the body, and the universe with which we begin; pose the questions we ask; 

influence the facts we seek; determine the interpretation we give these facts; 

and direct our reaction to these interpretations and conclusions.

Gunner Myrdal

As we begin this month of October and a week of retreat, I thought I would share a few thoughts on which I've been reflecting.

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I've known for a long time that the United States does not support a communitarian culture. We are individualistic, goal-oriented, privacy-protecting, independent, and rights-focused... generally speaking. This is something that I've grown more critical of in recent years... and yet, it remains deeply ingrained in me. Last weekend a few of us went to Sunday Mass at a nearby parish. At the end of Mass during the announcements, there was information given on upcoming weddings. "So-and-so, son of so-and-so, from such-and-such plans to marry so-and-so, daughter of so-and-so, from such-and-such. If anyone has reasons this marriage should not take place..." I gasped - audibly. I was flabbergasted and wondered, "What is happening?!" So, later at lunch, I asked my table about this practice. Those at the table (as far as I can remember right now) were from Zambia, Kenya, Vietnam, Ivory Coast, Malawi, India, and South Korea. Everyone was familiar with this practice - except the person from South Korea and myself. 

Marriage in many contexts is a communal affair. I learned from the conversation that it's not just for any reason that someone can speak in opposition to a marriage. But, perhaps someone in the community is aware that one of the people already has a spouse and family somewhere else... or that they are guilty of something serious... And it's a process, not just a random objection. They laughed when I asked about bitter exes trying to stop their former partner from marrying someone else. It's not like that. People don't disrespect the process.

I went from flabbergasted (and appalled?) to fascinated, curious, and deeply reflective. Shaped by the culture from which I come, I couldn't image this - someone interjecting into someone else's private life and trying to deny a right. But that is not the perspective from which others look at the situation. And perhaps there is something to learn from this... oh, arrogant American.

Something else I learned from the conversation... Since everyone in the parish knows when the wedding is (date and time), people just show up to the celebration... invitation... no invitation... it doesn't matter. Everyone is welcome. 

There's something about all this that I appreciate. 

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A funny exchange happened yesterday when a few of us went out for lunch after a hiking expedition. One of the Sisters ordered a drink I didn't recognize. The Brother sitting next to me explained, very matter-of-fact, "That beer is for women." "Oh?? (with an eyebrow raised) What does that mean?" I responded very calmly. "Oh! I mean... I'm not trying to... I mean... it's... hmm... you know... not as strong... good for women."... "Oh?" It was kind of funny to watch him trying to get himself out of that situation. What he was actually trying to say is that it's a good "starter" beer for those who don't drink. And to be fair, I should explain that this Brother doesn't drink at all. So, some slack is necessary. But it was interesting to me: 1. how matter-of-fact his statement was and 2. how quickly I responded with a challenge in my voice - not rudely - just challenging the statement.  

My understanding of the equality of the sexes is fierce - even in mundane things.

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Random learning from yesterday - 

Distance here is measured in kilometers. However, the odometer in vehicles is called "mileage." I tried to explain to people why this doesn't make sense, but no one understood (or cared?) what I was trying to point out. There should be another word for calculating distance that is based on kilometers instead of miles, yes? Why call it mileage if you don't use miles? 

I'm right about this one... 😉

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Last week I stayed up way too late on a Wednesday night having an intense conversation with a Brother from West Africa and one from India about the impact of colonization and white supremacy - missionaries and the "white savior complex" -  on religious life in their contexts. There is paternalism and a resulting infantilization that is still part of the dynamic in international congregations. Enlightening conversation... but also maddening and somewhat strange for me as a person of color from a Western nation. I'm in such a weird position of privilege, but not quite... If that makes sense. I walk a line, and it influences everything. Mine is a unique voice, no doubt. I have so much still to learn, though. 

So much to carry with me into retreat this week. I appreciate your prayers... and know of mine!

From the chapel here at the retreat center

Blessings,

Sr. N

 

Resurrected life...

Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice!

Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near.

Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God....

Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me.

Then the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:4-6, 9

Happy Easter!

I pray that each of you is experiencing the grace of this season - 50 days of unbounded joy!

To say that I love Easter - and spring - is a huge understatement. Recently, I was reflecting on new life and hope for the April Giving Voice Newsletter. (note: For those of you who are not familiar with Giving Voice, it is a national network of women religious in their 20s, 30s and 40s. This network of women is a very important part of my life. But, that's a reflection for another time.) In the newsletter I wrote,

Our joy has its source in the love of God poured out so generously in the selflessness of Jesus. Jesus came into this world to give us life, love, and an opportunity to enter into a new relationship with God. We celebrate in this time of Easter the fact that life, love, God always has the last word. The stone was rolled away. Death does not have the final say... 

Easter is the reason that we can look forward in hope. However, for some reason, I find myself looking back. This Easter I find myself reflective on months gone by. Easter is not a natural time for reflection for me. Perhaps I should clarify. Each day gives me an opportunity to reflect. However, it is typically during the seasons of Advent and Lent that it seems natural to take a step back, consider how things are going, what I've learned, how I've grown or where changes should happen etc. Easter doesn't typically carry the same intention. So far, though, this Easter is different.

It's been just over 10 months since I professed final vows as a Marianist Sister (time flies!). The academic year at the high school in which I teach is coming to a close. The academic year at the university where I staff a vocations office has already ended. Soon the two discerning young women who live with us at Annunciation House of Discernment will be entering the first stage of initial formation with our Province (after they take a fantastic 2-week road trip to do some camping, hiking and backpacking). And my role in our Province will soon take on a few added facets. So, it seems this is an appropriate time to reflect.

This academic year has been a year of transition. If you've followed my blog for any length of time you will see that transition is one of the few constants in my life. It's the paradox of life, I suppose. Transitions...

I am no longer in formation with the Sisters. I am a finally professed Sister - with all the responsibility, stability, freedom, worries and joy that comes with that. My teaching load increased this year, while the amount of time I spend at the high school has decreased. This year was my first year to coordinate vocations efforts at the university... my first year to serve on the core team of Giving Voice... and my first year to serve on a number of committees (a new building at one of our Marianist properties, a planning team for an international Marianist program...). It is my first year to be a part of a Marianist community outside of the home - a group of committed younger adults (all younger than me) who share faith, prayer, hopes and life. Then there is our little community at home (Annunciation House) - We were a community of 2 who became 3 and then 4... will be 5 for several weeks this summer... this community challenges and supports each of us on our journeys of being who God has called us to be.

In the midst of all this, I can say that this year has been one lesson in humility and gratitude after another. I am deeply grateful for the months gone by... with all their ambiguity, failures, laughter, good conversations, growing relationships, prayer and challenges. I am grateful for the grace of God that works through (or in spite of?) my limitations. I am grateful for our little community at Annunciation House - filled with such laughter, trust, prayer, and support. I am grateful for co-workers who support and pray for each other and are deeply committed to the mission of educating youth for service, justice and peace. I am grateful for the friends in my life - the people who listen, advise, commensurate, and pray with/for me.

And this is truly what it means to live the resurrection - to have hope in the midst of challenges, being grateful for the lessons learned, recognizing and trusting in the love of God so generously shared. This is the source of my Easter joy!

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N