Calm in the midst...

Nothing in all creation is so like God as stillness.

Meister Eckhart

What a whirlwind summer it's been so far! It has been a summer full of blessings (which I said about last summer), but completely different from last year. The day after school was out I left for Rome (see last blog post)… Then it was off to St. Louis for a service immersion trip with students… Then Frankfort/Chicago for retreat and a workshop on Ethics in Vocation and Formation Ministry… Yesterday I arrived back to Chicago for the weeklong Orientation for New Vocation Directors. When I get home from that I'll prepare for a trip down to my beloved San Antonio for the Marianist Lay Network of North America Assembly. Then it's off to be on retreat with our 2 pre-novices. By the time that's over I'll have approximately 10 days before going back to school. So, as you can see, whirlwind is an appropriate moniker!

In the midst of the craziness I am reminded of a line from the first poem I memorized in its entirety - "Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence." The Desiderata, a prose poem by Max Ehrmann, was a gift to my 8th grade class from our language arts teacher. I have never forgotten that first line. This line, and the entire poem really, has been a constant refrain in my life. It brings peace and calm in the midst of whatever is going on. If you are not familiar with the poem, please see it below.

As mentioned above I had the opportunity to make my annual retreat in Frankfort, Illinois this summer. I moved into a hermitage on the property of the Franciscan Sisters of the Sacred Heart on a Tuesday afternoon… and immediately felt a sense of peace. The quiet and the lack of clutter provided space to reflect, pray, sing, and sleep - all the important pieces of a good retreat (for me, anyway).

Hermitage - Rivo Torto ("tortuous stream" in Italian)

While in my hermitage I had a few reflections, some mundane/trivial and others not so much…

This is how I spent most of my mornings…  

Book recommended by my spiritual director

I met with a spiritual director on 3 afternoons of the 6 1/2 days I was there. In our first meeting after she asked me to tell her a little about myself, she went to her shelf and pulled down a book - Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in Our Busy Lives (pictured above). What an eye-opening book. In this book there is a quote by Thomas Merton (the full quote is not in the book, but I find the full quote to be quite challenging), 

"To allow one's self to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit one self to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence. Frenzy destroys our inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of our work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful."

Let that soak in for a minute. Violence to one self. It's strong language, no? In a world that currently has so much violence, it is difficult to see that our culture's addiction to busyness is also doing violence. I sat with that quote for a long time. I sat with the book for a long time. The book made a case (a good case) for incorporating Sabbath back into our lives. To really "Keep holy the Sabbath" - a commandment we typically ignore. Sure, going to Church on Sunday is something many of us do, but how many of us actually allow the day to be different from the other days? Allow it to be a time for renewal, friends, family, fun, relaxation? With so much to do - laundry, groceries, cleaning, yard work, grading (for those who are teachers), homework (for those who are students) - how can it be that we can incorporate Sabbath? It doesn't seem practical, does it?  But the alternative is doing violence to ourselves. Wow. My hope is that moving forward I might be able to embrace the Sabbath differently moving forward - as a first step to being a person who brings peace to situations and people.

Also in this book was an Hassidic Poem that resonated with me…

The insight? "All of your words each day are related to one another. All of them are rooted in the first words that you speak." It makes perfect sense, no? 

A mundane thing I learned while on retreat? What to do if you buy too much fresh spinach to eat in a week…

Looks gross, but sooo good!

Hmmm… liquid salad! 

Yes I finally learned to make a smoothie with a vegetable. I know I'm a little late to this craze, but I was skeptical. But this ugly concoction of blueberries, strawberries and spinach (what would normally be a salad for me) was amazingly good - and a great way to not let spinach go to waste.

I have always known that music is an important part of my spirituality, but one thing I didn't realize is how much I would long to pray in song while living in a hermitage. Why didn't I bring my guitar?! That was the question I could not figure out how to answer. But… my spiritual director came through with a special delivery one day… Her guitar! No music, but that's okay. I was able to play things I remembered from memory (many, many songs I learned early on while working with Aggie Awakening) and a few I could figure out by ear.

Her guitar and a nice note to accompany it...

Something else I learned? How to unlock this kind of lock:

That has this kind of key hole:

I had all the windows open and the ceiling fan going one day. And the breeze was strong enough to shut the bathroom door. I didn't mind that. That is until I tried to go to the bathroom and realized it was LOCKED! No key… no people around… I was worried. I still had days of retreat to go - what the heck was I going to do without a bathroom!? The more things I tried the more I really needed in that little room. Luckily I'm pretty handy with a pair of scissors. That was an adventure…

I spend time with Pope Francis on retreat as well. I finally finished reading Lumen Fidei and re-reading Evangelii Gaudium. And I think it would do me a little good to read them again. Some things you can't read enough times.

And so, there you have it. A small update on summer and some insights gained. As promised the poem Desiderata is below my signature.

I pray that each of you may be richly blessed.
Blessings,
Sr. N

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; 

and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.Keep interested in your career, however humble; 

it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; 

for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. 

But do not distress yourself with imaginings.Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. 

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. 

Be careful. Strive to be happy.

© Max Ehrmann 1927

Resurrected life...

Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice!

Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near.

Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition,

with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God....

Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me.

Then the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:4-6, 9

Happy Easter!

I pray that each of you is experiencing the grace of this season - 50 days of unbounded joy!

To say that I love Easter - and spring - is a huge understatement. Recently, I was reflecting on new life and hope for the April Giving Voice Newsletter. (note: For those of you who are not familiar with Giving Voice, it is a national network of women religious in their 20s, 30s and 40s. This network of women is a very important part of my life. But, that's a reflection for another time.) In the newsletter I wrote,

Our joy has its source in the love of God poured out so generously in the selflessness of Jesus. Jesus came into this world to give us life, love, and an opportunity to enter into a new relationship with God. We celebrate in this time of Easter the fact that life, love, God always has the last word. The stone was rolled away. Death does not have the final say... 

Easter is the reason that we can look forward in hope. However, for some reason, I find myself looking back. This Easter I find myself reflective on months gone by. Easter is not a natural time for reflection for me. Perhaps I should clarify. Each day gives me an opportunity to reflect. However, it is typically during the seasons of Advent and Lent that it seems natural to take a step back, consider how things are going, what I've learned, how I've grown or where changes should happen etc. Easter doesn't typically carry the same intention. So far, though, this Easter is different.

It's been just over 10 months since I professed final vows as a Marianist Sister (time flies!). The academic year at the high school in which I teach is coming to a close. The academic year at the university where I staff a vocations office has already ended. Soon the two discerning young women who live with us at Annunciation House of Discernment will be entering the first stage of initial formation with our Province (after they take a fantastic 2-week road trip to do some camping, hiking and backpacking). And my role in our Province will soon take on a few added facets. So, it seems this is an appropriate time to reflect.

This academic year has been a year of transition. If you've followed my blog for any length of time you will see that transition is one of the few constants in my life. It's the paradox of life, I suppose. Transitions...

I am no longer in formation with the Sisters. I am a finally professed Sister - with all the responsibility, stability, freedom, worries and joy that comes with that. My teaching load increased this year, while the amount of time I spend at the high school has decreased. This year was my first year to coordinate vocations efforts at the university... my first year to serve on the core team of Giving Voice... and my first year to serve on a number of committees (a new building at one of our Marianist properties, a planning team for an international Marianist program...). It is my first year to be a part of a Marianist community outside of the home - a group of committed younger adults (all younger than me) who share faith, prayer, hopes and life. Then there is our little community at home (Annunciation House) - We were a community of 2 who became 3 and then 4... will be 5 for several weeks this summer... this community challenges and supports each of us on our journeys of being who God has called us to be.

In the midst of all this, I can say that this year has been one lesson in humility and gratitude after another. I am deeply grateful for the months gone by... with all their ambiguity, failures, laughter, good conversations, growing relationships, prayer and challenges. I am grateful for the grace of God that works through (or in spite of?) my limitations. I am grateful for our little community at Annunciation House - filled with such laughter, trust, prayer, and support. I am grateful for co-workers who support and pray for each other and are deeply committed to the mission of educating youth for service, justice and peace. I am grateful for the friends in my life - the people who listen, advise, commensurate, and pray with/for me.

And this is truly what it means to live the resurrection - to have hope in the midst of challenges, being grateful for the lessons learned, recognizing and trusting in the love of God so generously shared. This is the source of my Easter joy!

Many blessings to all who read this!
Sr. N